View Full Version : What should I do at this point?
newbe
Jul 7, 2008, 09:15 AM
:rolleyes: Hello, Im newbe and Ive only been married for almost two months and my husband and I are having problems. Every thing that we do together its what he wants to do if I want to do things he says no. When we moved into our house it was the area he wanted to move in, when it comes to anything it has to be his way or no way he's going with me. He was so mad that I told him I was not attending his family Party and he asked me if I wanted him there.
N0help4u
Jul 7, 2008, 09:18 AM
You need to find a way to explain to him that your life is not all about HIS life now and if he can not do things with you that you want to do then you will do it alone because you are not dumping your life for his lack of interest in your interests. Tell him that he is invited along with you but if he chooses not to go that is on him.
If you have to rely on him for transportation find family members and a good friend that would be willing to take you
George_1950
Jul 7, 2008, 10:21 AM
Is this the end of the honeymoon or something else?
mimi03
Jul 7, 2008, 06:35 PM
Is this new behavior or has this always been his position in the relationship?
liz28
Jul 7, 2008, 07:34 PM
Some men think its okay to be controlling towards their wife. You have a good reason to be alarmed at his controlling behavior. It not only deprives you of your personal right to freedom of choice, but it can ruin your marriage. I witness by aunt go through this for years and it took her years to leave to him My family was happy when she finally did. She told my mother the only reason why she left because he push her to far.
I'm sure there were some signs before marriage about his ways and maybe you ignored it. Then once you got married, his controlling ways came out in full force.
You need to address how his controlling ways are making you feel and being that your only been married for 2 weeks, how will his behavior be in 2 months? If he don't change, then some tough decisions need to made, maybe a third party is needed as well if both parties agree to this. Problems like this so early in marriage needs to be address swiftly with a iron fist and needs to be talked about in a firm civil matter.
Food for thought: When controlling person don't get their way, they will end up frustrated. Some people don't have a high tolerance for frustration. The honeymoon is over too fast.
Question: What do you say or do when your input is not accounting for? I believe in marriage, you and your husband must work together, but to him your voice don't matters, only his.
sylvan_1998
Jul 8, 2008, 07:24 AM
You need to figure this out and I do not have any inspiring advice. But I will tell you this. My first year of marriage really totally sucked. For different reasons than yours... moved 2000 miles away from home, lost identity, no sun for months, never lived in snow and now was living with over 400 inches. I never flet so alone. I was depresssed and spouse just sat and watched me be sad.
We survived that and this is survivable too. With that said, find yourself and do not let him take away who you are. But you need to do some things with him too. Compromise.
Really, I just wanted to let you know it can get better. Good luck