Hi guys! Ok here we go...

I don't know what to do anymore. My "EX" wants a break from me and from everybody in general. I love this girl so much.. I am 32 she is 34. I met her 9 months ago and we started a purely sexual relationship. After 3 months both feelings grew stronger and we started to develop love. We tried as boyfriend and girlfriend and everything was going well. The problem is she was going through a divorce. For awhile I thought I was a rebound but after several break ups on her part with me, she still says she loves me, but she needs time to get her head on straight. I admit I don't know what to do or how to handle this. Last week she asked to be my girlfriend again and we spent 5 great days together and everything was perfect. Then one night when I wasn't with her she had a bad dream about her ex husband. Everything changed with us again. The difference this time is she is now seeking therapy.

I was the one to push her to get concelling and she realises that sometimes. She has taken huge steps to get closure from this now. Now she says she wants a break from everything and has ended us again. She has bottled up totally, I no longer feel she appraciates me or has any feelings for rme anymore, yet she sometimes admits she does think about me when she is alone. She hardly calls me anymore. I ask her if she wants me to just give up and walk away like she hints, but she won't answer me. I don't know what to do, I feel she loves me and wants to love but I also understand she needs to refix her life. She has several trust issues yet says she trusts me. She says I am the first one to do a lot of things for her, like listen to her, encourage her to get help, do a lot of the things her ex and her ex boyfriends never use to do, she says this, yet still she breaks up with me. I admit she has been really honest in the past with me and I have listened to everything she told me, but I don't know if I can believe her anymore. She keeps telling me I know how she feels about me, yet I don't anymore because she no longer shows it. I feel like a kid again.

She has pusehd me so far away and I don't know why. I haven't been easy with this I admit, but I also haven't shown her I am panicking too much over the break up. She has no confidence and no emotional support right now, so for sure I don't want to abandon her like everyone else. I try to take the pressure from me away from her, yet I fear maybe its too late. When I say if its better I get out of her life she says maybe it is better for her, I say it's a yes or no question and she won't answer. She knows she is being selfish and I do understand she needs to be if she is to get better, I just don't know if I should let her go or just be there for her if she ever calls again.

I know this question is all messed up and everywhere because I am still processing everything, but if anyone has been in a similar situation a little insight would be great. I try to hate what she did but I just can't hate her. She gives me little sign of hope. She says she knows how amazing I am and she knows she can trust me, she knows my love for her is real, but still it doesn't seem enough to show her its OK. I feel if I stop calling she will forget me or jumpp to the conclusion I have moved on and forgotten her. I tell her I won't forget her and she feels pressure from this too! Her heart has turned to ice and being that I no longer know women anymore I don't know what to do with this one.

She trusts me, she's comfortable with me she says, she's attracted to me still she says but actions speak louder than words I tell her and right now she says she can't express anything to me. And she tells me she is keeping her feelings to herself right now. She's a good hearted person, she has been damaged, she IS the type to just tell me to screw off, but she won't... she won't tell them anything. I know her head is messed up and she is confused, but if there are any women out there... I need some advice.

Hi guys! Ok here we go...

I dont know what to do anymore. My "EX" wants a break from me and from everybody in general. I love this girl so much..I am 32 she is 34. I met her 9 months ago and we started a purely sexual relationship. After 3 months both feelings grew stronger and we started to develop love. We tried as boyfriend and girlfriend and everything was going well. The problem is she was going through a divorce. For awhile I thought I was a rebound but after several break ups on her part with me, she still says she loves me, but she needs time to get her head on straight. I admit I dont know what to do or how to handle this. Last week she asked to be my girlfriend again and we spent 5 great days together and everything was perfect. Then one night when I wasnt with her she had a bad dream about her ex husband. Everything changed with us again. The difference this time is she is now seeking therapy.

I was the one to push her to get concelling and she realises that sometimes. She has taken huge steps to get closure from this now. Now she says she wants a break from everything and has ended us again. She has bottled up totally, I no longer feel she appraciates me or has any feelings fo rme anymore, yet she sometimes admits she does think about me when she is alone. She hardly calls me anymore. I ask her if she wants me to just give up and walk away like she hints, but she wont answer me. I dont know what to do, I feel she loves me and wants to love but I also understand she needs to refix her life. She has several trust issues yet says she trusts me. She says I am the first one to do alot of things for her, like listen to her, encourage her to get help, do alot of the things her ex and her ex boyfriends never use to do, she says this, yet still she breaks up with me. I admit she has been really honest in the past with me and I have listened to everything she told me, but I dont know if I can believe her anymore. She keeps telling me I know how she feels about me, yet I dont anymore because she no longer shows it. I feel like a kid again.

She has pusehd me so far away and I dont know why. I havent been easy with this I admit, but I also havent shown her I am panicking too much over the break up. She has no confidence and no emotional support right now, so for sure I dont want to abandon her like everyone else. I try to take the pressure from me away from her, yet I fear maybe its too late. When I say if its better I get out of her life she says maybe it is better for her, I say its a yes or no question and she wont answer. She knows she is being selfish and I do understand she needs to be if she is to get better, I just dont know if I should let her go or just be there for her if she ever calls again.

I know this question is all messed up and everywhere because I am still processing everything, but if anyone has been in a similar situation a little insight would be great. I try to hate what she did but I just can't hate her. She gives me little sign of hope. She says she knows how amazing I am and she knows she can trust me, she knows my love for her is real, but still it doesnt seem enough to show her its ok. I feel if I stop calling she will forget me or jumpp to the conclusion I have moved on and forgotten her. I tell her I wont forget her and she feels pressure from this too! Her heart has turned to ice and being that I no longer know women anymore I dont know what to do with this one.

She trusts me, shes confortable with me she says, shes attracted to me still she says but actions speak louder than words I tell her and right now she says she can't express anything to me. And she tells me she is keeping her feelings to herself right now. Shes a good hearted person, she has been damaged, she IS the type to just tell me to screw off, but she wont.....she wont tell em anything. I know her head is messed up and she is confused, but if there are any women out there.....I need some advice.
You have to understand that in most cases a divorce is a very emotional experience and people will have their highs and lows. These funks can last days, weeks, or even longer. If you do in fact love her, give her space. Explain that you understand that she is processing her feelings and developing a course for the future. Is it fair to keep you hanging? No, but it is part of dealing with a partner in a divorce. You need to make the decision of whether you A) only want to be with her if you can be together forever or B) support her as a friend and be there for her during this difficult time. If you can not settle for being friends and supporting her in whatever she chooses (even if it is not you), then you need to just walk away. If you care and support her regardless of her decision, then tell her that. I think she just needs her space right now and having a friend to lean is almost always welcomed.

Great advice! Yes I love her enough to be whatever it is she needs me to be right now. Im just confused, she says she doesn't want to hear I love her, and says she wants me to distance myself maybe... I know she is lost and confused and doesn't know what she wants. Ill fake it to the best of my ability that I am not sad about this but it is very difficult. However she is very important to me and her getting better is as well so I will start shutting my mouth about how I feel. She says she remembers all the beautiful things about us and understands when she dumps me its because she receives flashes of her exs and how they hurt her. IT catches me out of the blue and yes I freak out when this happens because she can't see me for who I am even if she says she knows I am amazing. Any fight we had its because of her past, I don't know if she appreciates that when she tries to be with me everything has been wonderful. She says she respects me and if she isn't with me she won't be with anyone. I believe her. So do I just hang on for awhile and do what makes me happy or walk away? She literally is a wall of ice now where as last week, she asked me to be her boyfriend again and now its solid ice with her. I am hoping the therapy helps her out immensely and I say that in a nonselfish way. Should I just hope that women scorned really do realise who has been there for them and do realise eventually when a man really loves them. Grrr so confusing lol but I know its her who has to find her answers for herself and I know now I can't be selfish to think I can fix her problems, all I can do is be there for her if and when she needs me, but she's at the point where I feel I will not hear from her again. Do I just let her make the first move if it ever comes, or do I call once in awhile to see how she is... This woman as I said is important to me and I don't want to mess up more than I already have for not knowing what she is going through. She knows I think that I didn't understand before, and she finally was honest with her feelings and her past last week with me in terms of her exs, she said she wanted to be honest with me and not lie anymore and she says she doesn't want to use me. Today when we spoke she said she has started to pass a big reflection on her and I and yet still has no answers, when I asked if it was a positive reflection she said she doesn't want to say yet... still she sounds so cold.