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blackpurls
Jul 5, 2008, 12:31 PM
Hey y'all

This is my first attempt at this sort of thing, but here goes.

I am in a relationship with a wonderful guy, who has something I want opinions on.

My boyfriend takes a long time to come, and I know it can frustrate him. Yes, I know ;) , the opposite of what most girls complain about, and I'm not complaining, I just want advice.

Is there something I can do to help him? He was never circumcised, so his glans is under the foreskin unless he's soft. We're not interested in him getting cut at this late date, so that's not an option. However, it means that it's difficult for me to bring him to an orgasm via a blowjob, and sometimes even sex. He often has to pull out and finish himself. He's my first sexual partner, so I'm not absolutely certain this is all THAT unusual, but lets just say that according to my friends he's a bit long. For instance, a quickie for us is twenty minutes. Average sex can be one to two hours, with him coming once, maybe twice. Yeah, I know, I've heard the 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth' before.

Could part of the reason be that he masturbates too often?

kp2171
Jul 5, 2008, 01:07 PM
Yes it can be partly due to the fact he's used to the grip of his own hand.

Time during sex depends on the partners. We have members here who talk about long sexual encounters with their mates, and as long as both are experiencing pleasure and both are healthy and happy, what's the problem.

However, not all are into extended sex, and it can tear either partner apart. I remember as a young man being dumb and naïve and actually injuring the skin on the shaft from sex that was much too long. These days, while I might spend an hour in the bedroom with my mate, most of that time isn't intercourse... its about building sexual tension through sensual touch and connection.

I can get my partner off most of the time within 5-10 minutes. I can get myself off after within the same time.

The less "work" I do on the front side, the longer it takes.

So... one issue is how to build up sexual tension? Sometimes foreplay is used to exhaust all the "tricks" you have unfortunately... for ex... I love my ears and neck to be nibbled at... love it... but I don't want my partner to do that during foreplay. I want her to hold that back. Use it toward the middle or later parts of intercourse when she's ready to push me over the top.

So... one thing to do is think about how to mentally and physically prime him, but still leave some things until later. You can drag your naked body over his lightly, softly kissing along the way. You can lay next to him with your head toward his feet and use your fingers to trace over his feet, legs, thighs, etc. you can have him be behind you with you on the bed and ask him to massage your back, but not penetrate yet. etc.

Another thing... does he always wait or hold back to get you to orgasm? Do you ever tell him "its all about you" to see how he responds. My experience is when you mentally block those sensations, sometimes it takes time to be able to release when its time. Please mention whether he is able to bring you to orgasm with intercourse and whether he seems to hold back.

Other things you can do... during intercourse you can reach down and stim his "guys" with your fingers. Again... save this for later, but pulling, tugging, and dragging your nails over this region adds in another type of sensation that might help.

So what is your normal experience in terms of what foreplay is, what sex is, his ability to get you to orgasm, etc.