Hi, I have written a passage for a book (im writing one) and I wanted to know what you think. But:
1) it is about vampires
2) it is written in second person view
3) I know its not perfect.
Please tell me what you think

"you dropped the knife in horrid realization of what you had done. You looked around as the eyes of your friend had gone as round as the moon. You took a step forward, but she cowered in a corner, terrified. With hands soaked in blood, you couldn’t help yourself, you wanted that blood. Kristen gave a gasp. You dropped to your knees, licking the blood, before it could wash away in the water. “I’m a vampire, a horrible vampire!” you thought to yourself. Suddenly, you ran away. You couldn’t feel your pulse, but you could feel the heartbeats of everyone else. Behind you, Kristen screamed and then fainted"

Redundancy - you used some form of the word you 14 times in 8 sentences. As a result it does not read well and seems choppy with no flow. Sorry.

Its just a passage, and, I know that its not perfect, I just wanted to see if I was a good beginning writer

Well, for this type of novel especially, people should be gripped by the vivid diction you use. Replace flat verbs like "soaked" and "fainted" with something more descriptive like "saturated" and "collapsed". Draw it out and give attention to detail. Show what's going on as opposed to telling.
For example:
The blade clattered on the cool concrete floor as the horrid realization of your actions hit you. Your eyes skimmed your surroundings and were drawn to those of your friend, which had gone full-moon round. Stepping forward in a desperate attempt to comfort her and plead for forgiveness, she cowers in a corner, terrified. With hands saturated in blood, you feel an almost uncontrollable urge; you craved that blood-needed it. Kristen gave a gasp of disgust and fear. Dropping to your knees, you gave in, allowing the tip of your tongue to caress the crimson enticement before the pure water could wash it away... and so on

Also, try different verbs with different phrases.
Instead of saying "I saw", "I licked", "you ran" use phrases separated by commas so you can use "seeing", "licking", etc. Repetition of the same subject( I, he, she, we) gets old too so try to use verbs in ways that make it obvious who you are referring to without having to state it again. Cut out as many 'is' and 'be' verbs as possible. A thesaurus can be your best friend. Other than some honing of the technical skills, the rest is imagination. Use it an d run away with it! :D

Also, for future reference, I would not recommend publishing any thing you write, whether fully edited and revised or not, on such an open forum. It is incredibly easy for someone to steal. I mean, I could've taken your concept and developed my very own story around it, if I were a horrible, plagiarist person.

Krissy G has some excellent advice; all of it in fact. I like the way that you responded to my criticism without venom. If you can take criticism it is a sign that you truly want to improve as is the fact that you asked for help on such an "open forum" as Krissy pointed out. Well done. One more piece of advice. Be very careful never to post or submit any writing without thorough proofreading and editing. Even your responses should follow all grammatical and punctuation rules if you want people to take you seriously. Try and find any errors in Krissy G's text. Also have someone else edit your work as I is very difficult to edit your own writing properly, plus you will have a chance to get another opinion on content as well. One of the most important things a writer does is produce so be sure to write as much and often as your time will allow. Also read as much as you can from as many different sources and genres as possible. Lastly, take a few courses if you are able. Good luck!