I have a 13 year old daughter that doesn't want to visit her father and I don't feel that I should force her to go. He called last night and stated that if I didn't make her come for a visit within the next 30days that he was going to contact his lawyer and give up his parental rights. He also stated that he didn't feel that he should pay child support for a child that he doesn't see. Can someone give me some advice on this?

What he 'feels' and what the law is are two different things. Even when giving up parental rights he is still responsible for child support. Some states allow the child to choose by the age of 14. You can check with the court what the age is for your state.

Why does your daughter not want to visit?

The fact is neither of you can force your daughter into this. And if he goes back to court they will not terminate his rights. Child support and visitation are not tied together. The most that could happen is the court will order supervised visitation that she may be compelled to attend.


Some states allow the child to choose by the age of 14.

I'm not sure what you are referring to here. A child can refuse to visit and the court is not likely to force the issue unless it's the custodial parent exerting influence on the child.

This is not a custody issue but a visitation issue. As I answered in another thread, NO state allows a minor child to decide what parent to live with. They can express their preference and that expression will be given more weight in some places, but the decision is up to a judge.

My Child Protective Services Judge told my son he could decide when he turned 14.

That's not the law. The law states that the court decides. The law does states that there are many factors to consider including the child's preference. But the child can't decide.

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The reason we need to be clear here is that you can't have a 14 yr old just suddenly up and decide they are moving in with dad (or mom as the case may be) and do so. One of the parents, usually the non custodial one, files a petition in Family Court for a change in the custody arrangement. The court then hears the arguments and hands down their decision. In some cases, all the judge needs to hear is the child's preference and they will go along. But what happens in a situation where you have a 14 yr old girl who thinks she's in love with an 20 yr old boy and mom says no you can't date him, but the girl thinks (or knows) that dad really doesn't give a damn. So she decides she wants to live with dad so she and the pedophile can get it on. Do you think the judge is going to rubber stamp her preferences?

True and agree but even if they could decide it would still ultimately be up to the Judge to recognize that was the motives of the child and then deny it.