PDA

View Full Version : Military wife?


enjay22
Jun 26, 2008, 08:00 PM
I'm young. I'm way young.
And my boyfriend who is 22 is a marine.
And he's talking about marriage before his deployment of afghan in 6 months.
I'm only 18.
Isn't that too young to get married?
But, on the other hand, I love him. So, I'm just not sure.
When he comes back what if he's completely changed, and then, I'm stuck?
Gah. Advice? Thanks!

George_1950
Jun 26, 2008, 08:46 PM
Sounds like he may be having issues with security; he wants concrete, rather that abstract, reasons for being place into danger. You should do what is right for you; don't be coerced or rushed into such an important decision.

IM4U
Jun 27, 2008, 07:31 PM
Sounds like you would like us to join you in convincing yourself to wait. I join you.

smokedetector
Jun 27, 2008, 08:06 PM
Marriage results from the decision of two people. Don't let him make yours for you. If you love him, you can be there for him without a marriage certificate. I agree with previous poster, he want security right now, which is understandable, but unless it's right for the BOTH of you, it isn't right at all. Best of luck in making your decision.

hollylovesbrandon
Jun 27, 2008, 08:29 PM
Sounds like a serious adult conversation needs to take place. You can let him know you are there for him without getting married ( if that's what you choose).

SingingNun
Jun 29, 2008, 09:18 AM
Actually 18 isn't really all that young - we just think it is. Women used to get married at 17 & 18 all the time. A lot still do, without losing the chance for college or a job.

I am a disabled veteran and watched enough marriages to say it can work and at times it doesn't work.

What you need to ask yourself is if this is the man that you want to spend the rest of your life with. 18 isn't too young to know. My grandparents have been married over 50 years, she was 17 and my grandfather was 20. She married him right before the Korean War and he was shipped out with the Navy. They made it - through separation, poverty, illness etc. They are very happy together. The made it work because that's what they wanted.

You have to decide whatyou want. And there is no shame telling him that you want to wait a little longer. To make sure this is what he wants to do out of love not just because he's leaving. The upside is, and he may be thinking this, if you do get married before he leaves you will have funding and even housing from the military. This is something to keep in mind and it may be something that he wants to make sure is set up for you.