My children's father was very abusive emotionally to them and myself. I finally freed myself of him in November of 2006. At that time, I placed a protection order on him for myself and my two girls. At the court hearing, the protection order was dropped on the girls so that he could have visitation with them. Not because I wanted to, but because I felt pressured by the judge to do this and it was my first time ever in a courtroom... I was scared. So he had visits until early January when he refused to return them to me. We finally convinced him to hand them over, and he has not had a visit since.

We set up 3 meetings with him so that he could see them. He had no excuse for missing the first, his excuse for the second was that his Dad wanted to see them and wasn't able to make it, so he couldn't see them that day either. The third time, his excuse was that he had no ride (It was a nice day in June and it was in walking distance.)

He did not even call them for Christmas last year. He calls every 3 or 4 months just so that he can say he tries to keep in touch. But he never calls to discuss them... only what went wrong with us. For the longest time, he was calling my mom at work (my number hadn't even changed, he is just trying to manipulate the system).

Besides stalking us, he has not laid eyes on those kids since April of 2007. The oldest daughter does not recognize him at all in photographs. Even in April of 2007 when she saw him, I had to practically beg her to give him a hug.

He didn't even show up for the divorce, where I won full custody. He KNEW that he had 21 days to appeal for custody and he did not. He hasn't paid a dime in child support either. He owes almost $4,000.

Can I claim abandonment if he hasn't seen them in well over a year? I know that he only calls so that I can't claim it. Can he really manipulate the system that way?

What state are you in? No, you can't file abandonment that would mean that he hasn't made any contact whatsoever you already said that he called which counts as contact. What you can do is go back to court to file for the support order to be enforced. Besides that he didn't leave the children uncared for such as at a bus stop he left them with you so even if he really didn't make any contact for a full year you would only be able to use abandonment as grounds for something like a divorce.

Welcome to AMHD. What state do you live in? Is he working and paid by check?

I live in Maine. There has to be something that we can do. This man is extremely unbalanced. If I go to court for anything child related, he'll try to get custody just to hurt me. His issue is with me, not the girls. I don't think that he could care any less about the girls. And he's manipulative as all heck. He can turn on the sprinklers with the drop of a hat and win over anyone's sympathy... he did it with the last judge. I feel so trapped.

... I doubt that he has a job. He always works under the table. When I was with him, we'd starve for a month, then he'd come home with hundreds upon hundreds and blow it in a matter of days. So he definitely didn't have a steady job. I don't think that he does now.

Check this: Maine Garnishment Lawyer, Attorney, Lawyers, Attorneys, Law Firm, Law Firms - ME - FindLaw (http://lawyers.findlaw.com/lawyer/practicestate/Garnishment/Maine)

And this: OIAS - DSER; Application (http://www.maine.gov/dhhs/OIAS/dser/application.html)

Thanks, I will look at it.