View Full Version : In love but she has someone already.
AliG
Jun 21, 2008, 06:59 PM
Yes... Another one of these situations. I've been working with this girl at my job for a good few months now and I tell you, she is the most beautiful girl I ever met. Her looks, personality, and just how she is as a person blows me away. At first, I thought nothing much about her. But now, it's come to a point where I'm just completely in love with her. I've liked girls before but never enough to say that I loved them. I can't stop thinking about her. There isn't one day that goes by where I'm not and when I do, I get butterfly's lol...
But, she has someone already that she seems to be happy with. But at times I just want to tell her "I love you" but I can't because I don't want her to be in an awkward position. I just don't want to ruin the friendship we have atm. So my question is, should I move on? What do you guys do when you were in this situation of being completely in love?
starbuck8
Jun 21, 2008, 07:19 PM
Well can I say, and I'm not saying this in a mean way, you are in love with the idea of being in love with her. You cannot *love* someone, in the true sense, until you have spent a lot of time and energy to form a bond, and a solid friendship. Going up to her and saying that you "love" her right now is a bad idea. Keep on forming your friendship with her, and when she is having a bad day, etc. just comfort her as a friend would comfort another friend. That goes a long way with girls!
Fr_Chuck
Jun 21, 2008, 07:23 PM
Several issues, a very smart man once told me to never go fishing in the company pond, ( that means you don't date people you work with) since if and when it does not work out, you then have a bad work atmophere and sometimes a bad break up will cause one or both to even lose jobs.
Next if she has someone ( did not say dating, or living with) she is not available, and if she would cheat on him with you, most likely she would latter cheat on you with someone else.
starbuck8
Jun 21, 2008, 07:29 PM
Several issues, a very smart man once told me to never go fishing in the company pond, ( that means you don't date people you work with) since if and when it does not work out, you then have a bad work atmophere and sometimes a bad break up will cause one or both to even lose jobs.
Next if she has someone ( did not say dating, or living with) she is not available, and if she would cheat on him with you, most likely she would latter cheat on you with someone else.
I agree never to do this at work. I got distracted by the phone, and meant to mention that also. Thanks Chuck. Workplace relationships are a recipe for disaster!
AliG
Jun 21, 2008, 08:05 PM
Thanks for the advice fellas. It helps a lot. :)
talaniman
Jun 22, 2008, 06:04 AM
Not to question how attracted to her you are, but love?? She has someone and is unavailable, and since you work together, it could be very uncomfortable, and humiliating if things don't work out, or turn for the worst.
Admire her from afar, and don't cross the boundaries of co-workers. Keep your feelings to yourself.
LivingtheLifeinFLA
Jun 22, 2008, 07:33 AM
Just chill out and be friends with her. Most relationships fail. Date other people and see what comes up. If she ends up breaking up with the boyfriend, go for it. But depending on her personality and how long she has dated him, you may have to wait until she gets over it or you play the rebound.
By all means don't ever say I love you. If she has any interest at all and sees you dating other girls it will get her interest level up. When you proclaim your love to early you are seen as "no challenge" and below her. Play the game.
chocopies
Jun 22, 2008, 08:12 AM
Yeah, that's just asking for trouble. Even if she does break up with the current boyfriend, I would still just try to be more of her friend after the breakup. Furthermore, don't try anything shady, as in try to catch her on the rebound.
If you want to have a relationship with her, and by relationship I mean as a good+close friend, I would keep things as they are, keep your feelings to yourself, and just... be there lol.
Sometimes, girls can end up being better and closer if they were just your friend rather than if you were their boyfriend, this all depends on the person. Take the other posters' advice and don't try anything shady.
~choco
sweety
Jun 22, 2008, 10:50 AM
Sorry but I'm going to be straight so you don't hurt yourself in the long run, if the girl doesn't notice you, flirt with you and is not interested on that level, leave her alone. Just stay mates and don't spoil your friendship as every relationship goes back to where it started and that's being friends.
You should enjoy life and be mates and maybe you'll find someone that's prettier and loves you and is interested in you and cares for you on that next level. Don't stress about her and love yourself first so you have a chance at loving someone else and don't beat yourself up about it. Its better you lot are friends and enjoy being each others friends than stressing about getting her if she's taken already. Trust me she will tell her man and hate you for spoiling your friendship and you may get in a sticky mess with her man. Trust me, no woman or man is worth fighting for if they are already taken. That will make you second target, so she'll do it to you if you were hers and bring a next man in who you'll be fighting over her for.
confused1145
Jun 22, 2008, 02:34 PM
Don't say anything to her. That will just ruin the friendship. She is with someone else and happy so if you want her as a friend, don't interfer because she will probably just push you away and end the friendship making it hard to even work together.