How do you show your love & compassion?

Looks like the other thread is officially closed because I have no more room on my p/c.

I went back over something and noticed(which I hadn't seen before)

I saw Orange's last post for that thread. I think it's on p.15 or 16 in the "confused about religion" thread.

I am praying for her to be OK. I don't think she would joke about something like that.

Now my question is... How do you feel about Love & Compassion?

Ouch...

This is not a good subject for me. I think I have a few issues regarding how I show Love and Compassion. I feel for Orange. I really do. She is great and she will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I have always dealt with death a bit differently. I guess I don't mourn very well... or at all, really. I have had an unusual amount of close friends & family die. Not just me... this small town that I live in. The deaths in my generation started here when I was a freshman. Murders, suicides, car accidents and more have taken best friends, girlfriends, close relatives, high school buddies, best friends girlfriends, and more... I don't think that I am really numb to it, its just gotten to a point where these occurrences, along with my personal beliefs, have led me to an understanding... or acceptance, rather.

Its always struck me as strange... even my friends here are affected deeper than I am. Ive never cried over a death... but I don't just bottle it up either. My girlfriend tells me I don't have a heart... of course, she knows otherwise but she just means toward death. I don't know...

We, meaning anyone on this thread, can talk about Love & Compassion if they
Care to.

They don't necessarily have to talk about Death and Dying. Just something like
"is it a good quality in a person?"
"Do you feel like the world is lacking in these qualities? Do you that think Love is the Answer? Still?"




And I Love You So.

We all see it differently. I am actually a bad one to discuss or talk about compassion, since I am perhaps a little "harder" than I need to

I had worked for 5 years in high security prisons with the worst of the worst. After that I worked on the street with drug dealers and hookers and the homeless for another 6 years. So for 11 years I have worked and seen the worst that society can do and the worst people can become.

So it was hard to move on and work with elderly and people who are near death.

I believe we each see pain and suffering from a level that we are, or have been. So it is often hard to feel for someone when their bad situation is better than yours or better than most of the people you deal with.

It does not mean we don't care, but just that we don't have a good reference to reach to them.

I know often my own responses here seem a little hard and I speak too direct but that is a result of where I was for so long

I think Love and Compassion is a good quality in everyone regardless of who they are. Do they all possess it? No. I don't think everyone can show love and comapssion.. well at least not the way someone may want to receive it.

I don't think the world is lacking. I think there could be more of it. But as a society, we do what we can.

I do think that Love is still the answer. Sometimes tough love but nonetheless.

At times I would say that I was more like Fr Chuck. I try to be more sympathetic to the hurting but I just don't have it in me sometimes. I hardly even cried at my father's funeral when I was 19. It doesn't mean I didn't care that he died. I just didn't show it the way others may.


We all see it differently. I am actually a bad one to discuss or talk about compassion, since I am perhaps a little "harder" than I need to

That surprises me knowing you are a Bishop of a church. ;) (stay with me on this)


I had worked for 5 years in high security prisons with the worst of the worst. After that I worked on the street with drug dealers and hookers and the homeless for another 6 years. So for 11 years I have worked and seen the worst that society can do and the worst people can become.


Ahhh, this explains it then.

BTW, I don't think your responses are all that hard or direct. Although, I haven't been the one receiving the response. :D

Society thinks that because you are a religious leader or just plain religious you should show a certain kind of compassion.
Some People need the kind of compassion that Fr Chuck has because there are some that would take advantage of a Mother Theresa kind of compassion.

Some people need the kind of compassion that Mother Theresa has shown because they need a little more caring than others.


These are good questions because who really knows how much or how little love and compassion someone should show or have.

I went back over something and noticed(which I hadn't seen before)

I saw Orange's last post for that thread. I think it's on p.15 or 16 in the "confused about religion" thread.

I am praying for her to be ok. I don't think she would joke about something like that.



I am okay... I have just not been on much in the last few days. My husband's brother and sister-in-law were killed in a car accident in Vancouver last Saturday. They left behind 2 small children ages 4 and 6. My husband and I flew to Vancouver on Sunday morning and we are still here (we take our computer with us when we travel). After the funeral on Monday, we stayed on with the rest of the family for shiva (mourning) which lasts 7 days. We are the legal guardians of the 2 children, so we are now adopting them. I'll probably be flying home next week sometime.

I had started a thread about this on Saturday night, shortly after it happened:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=22654

Just go there if you want to read more... it's been fairly active. I'm still pretty tired (being pregnant and not getting much sleep lately!) so I don't want to type more or stay online long. Thanks for caring.

Yes most people don't realise that Bishops are actually more administors in today's world than ministers. They have management duties, monetary issues, reviewing backgrounds of clergy and answering untold emails and phone calls.

And normally they don't see the "regular" people on a daily basis, that is what the parish clergy does. Normally you will have to have an apointment to see your local Bishop.

** since I am over an Order and it is not a large rich group it works a little different for me.

The hardest thing for me was watching people we would help, feed, clothe and do other help for, get clean from drugs, then latter we see them dirty, needle marks going back into the crack house or selling thierself on the street. There were so few victories.

It must have been hard when you keep seeing the same people you helped go back to drugs.

The church I used to go wwas a well-to-do church but we tended to attrack a lot of the high-maintenance people. Although, your heart goes out to them, generally they would fall into the same trap. When you finally, say enough is enough, you need to get yourself away from the influences, they leave the church. Very few would actually stay. They were the genuine want to get better. What people don't understand (I have a hard time with) is that if you minister to others you help yourself by feeling better because you helped someone in need. I try to forget about whether the person stays "helped" or not.

Yes I guess we are getting a little off the original question, but we worked right on the street, I would serve the street people on the street, but often people knowing where I lived came to ask for ( well they asked for money but we never ever gave money out) but we did give small bags of food, ready to eat stuff.

I would often go into some of the city parks after dark were even the police officers had a rule not to go into by thierself at night.

I visited with people in cardboard and tents under bridges and in old deserted warehouse buildings.

It is hard to forget some of their faces, esp the ones that ended up dead.

I often lay at night wishing I could forget a lot of the things I have seen, the one that haunts me the most is the first girl that died in my arms, she was about 16 or so, and her boyfriend had been drinking, I was there one of the first people on the scene. I am not sure how people like Mother Thersa did it, year after year.

I think Mother Theresa had a gift of love and compassion. That's what I was talking about before about some people have an actual gift of it and some people have to work at it to be loving.

ouch...

This is not a good subject for me. I think I have a few issues regarding how I show Love and Compassion. I feel for Orange. I really do. She is great and she will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Thanks Dr. Jizzle. I appreciate the thoughts and prayers very much.


Its always struck me as strange... even my friends here are affected deeper than I am. Ive never cried over a death... but I don't just bottle it up either. My girlfriend tells me I don't have a heart... of course, she knows otherwise but she just means toward death. I don't know...

Don't feel too strangely. If you've read my thread in bereavement, you'll note that I haven't cried about my brother-in-law and sister-in-law yet. I also never cried at either of my biological parents' funerals, or my foster sister's funeral, even though she was a best friend to me for years. I've never been much of a crier. That doesn't mean I don't mourn though. My major form of mourning is insomnia... I've had it really bad this past week. I also lose my appetite and get really busy helping with all kinds of practical tasks. People tell me I'm "cool in a crisis" when everyone else is basically falling apart.

Regarding love and compassion, I think once again I am more of a doer. I'm not the kind of person to say "I love you" or "I care" that much (in fact pretty much never haha), but I will "do" a lot. Especially for people I love, but also for strangers. My husband gets upset because he thinks I do potentially dangerous things. For example, last winter I saw a Cree man standing on a street corner, and obviously he was drunk or stoned or both. He was swaying and almost falling into the busy street. It was close to 40 degrees below zero, and he wasn't dressed well. Anyway to make a long story short, I stopped my car and gave him a ride to the Salvation Army. I had to help him into the car, and he was also bleeding a bit... so I helped him wipe his face. I think he'd been in a fight. I didn't call the police because people "like him" often get treated badly by the police here. Another time I was at the bus station and an obviously mentally challenged man was walking around asking people to help him tie his shoes. They were all running away from him, but I tied his shoes for him and gave him a tissue because he had snot running down his face. I do things like that quite often and like I said it upsets my husband. I just figure though that if I was in those people's positions, I would want someone to care too.

Well,

A lousy worded question anyway. I must've been describing me feelings I tell you!

The ol' RHETORICAL question!

And u fell for it! Just kidding. It's all been a "Forrest Gump" day, if you know what I mean!

Carry on...

It is hard to forget some of thier faces, esp the ones that ended up dead.

I often lay at night wishing I could forget alot of the things I have seen, the one that haunts me the most is the first girl that died in my arms, she was about 16 or so, and her boyfriend had been drinking, I was there one of the first people on the scene. I am not sure how people like Mother Thersa did it, year after year.

I totally understand what you're talking about, Fr Chuck. When I used to work for the HIV/AIDS organization in my city, I would get to know a client, see them one day and then they'd be dead the next. Not necessarily from AIDS, but many of them were transients, and they'd be beaten or stabbed to death on the street, or die in jail, or of an overdose, etc. I never really got used to all the death, although staff had mandatory grief counseling every 6 months. Eventually I had to quit my job because I couldn't take it.

My husband is a doctor and currently works in Emergency, so he sees a lot of people die. We've had the conversation about how he stands it several times. He obviously isn't happy when a patient dies, but he says he's gotten at least somewhat used to it. At least more so than when he was a resident.