After reading through so many pages, I just hope someone can help me analyze my situation...

We have dated for 2.5 years... He wasn't a romantic guy... And he told me he needs a smart women that can help him take care of his miscellaneous stuff so that he can focus on his career... So I was the one who really take care of everything... Like buying his shirt, pants, plan for our activities and even cook dinner if he want... Everything seems perfect... He even told his mum (around mother's day) that he is getting a ring! We even went to Japan trip recently..

But on 25th May, he say he want to a break up... Reason he say is that he have thought of the relationship seriously and although ITS TIME for us to get married, but in fact he don wish to... He say he still got lots of things undone... He want to focus on his career

And we broke off! So next day, I asked him to return my laptop... I was losing control and keep scolding him for treating me like dirt.. and he say "Give him time"...

Then 4 days later, I asked my fren to called him to take my stuff back... And he told my friend that he feels that I'm not the one anymore!!

And after a few days, I called him (ya, I noe I shldnt do that)... He say he didn't want to me to wait for him anymore... He say although he have thought that we might still be together after half a yr later, he did not want to waste my time now... He even say, he will not be able to find someone as good as me...

I was devastated after that night and didn't make any phone calls after that... It was only few more days to his birthday and I'm feeling terribly down... And because I already ordered his present online, I mail it to him a week after his birthday... I did not text him or call him to wish him happy birthday..


My friend decided to message him to check on him on behalf, and his reply is "he monitor me thru my blog, and ask my friend to take care of me... And he thought i was fine, becos i told him i never cried anymore when i called him the other time"

And I have the online blog which I wrote almost everyday... And he read it so frequently... Like almost everyday.. I dun noe what is he thinking... He never made any phone call at all... He never block me from msn... He do not have a new girlfriend...

I really want to move on... But he is like the love of my life.. I really thought I will be marrying him... But no response from him make me sink... Oh you, he say that I'm fat was one of the reason.. And he thinks its good that he is doing all things by himself...

Its 5 more days to our 1 month breakup... And if he is really moving on... Why would he even bother to view my blog? Im really upset because its not like there is any big issue between us... I feel its like he is not ready for commitment... And I noe the best thing is to move on... But without any serious issue by the way us, its hard for me to get over... It would be better if he have a girlfriend, and I can totally get over it...

So, you're admitting to being one of those people that can't face a breakup without a huge dramatic, painful, angry, blood-letting issue to go along with it? Wow, that's pretty honest.

He was the love of your life? No, he was the one you were/are in love with. The love of your life is a title you give to someone on your deathbed. It's not a prediction.

You got dumped. That means it's all on your head. He got to pull the plug so he had already worked through this ahead of time. THAT'S why he seems to be able to move on so quickly, he already had.

Your heart wants to believe that you two were in the same place the moment he broke up, making it even harder to understand. Well, stop believing that. You two were no where NEAR the same place on that day. That was the day he got honest, but he'd been there for a long time already.

Him viewing your blog or not? Irrelevant.
Him saying nice things to you after the breakup? Irrelevant.
You actually figuring out anything he's thinking? Irrelevant.

None of those things change reality. None will actually help you at all. You got dumped, and now you have the undesirable requirement of getting through it and getting on with it. It just is what it is.

The sooner you forgive him, the sooner you can move on. As long as you're hating him or what he did, it's just you giving him more energy pointlessly.

What do you think?

Since he reads your blog maybe you could write a blues type poem on what do you do when the only one you love slips out of your life.

He sounds like the ambitious goal oriented workaholic and he probably is very organized and prioritizes and analyzes and you just didn't fit into his business mind anymore.
Some people look at the world in some odd structures rather than knowing how to follow their heart and emotions. He doesn't sound like he has the foggiest idea of what it is to be happy go luck. It most likely wasn't anything you did or didn't do but the problem is within him. Really nothing you can do with him.

Since he reads your blog maybe you could write a blues type poem on what do you do when the only one you love slips out of your life.

He sounds like the ambitious goal oriented workaholic and he probably is very organized and prioritizes and analyzes and you just didn't fit into his business mind anymore.
Some people look at the world in some odd structures rather than knowing how to follow their heart and emotions. He doesn't sound like he has the foggiest idea of what it is to be happy go luck. It most likely wasn't anything you did or didn't do but the problem is within him. Really nothing you can do with him.


Right on! It fits... And I'm moving on, but still kind of feel maybe "someday" I will fit into his structure...

So, you're admitting to being one of those people that can't face a breakup without a huge dramatic, painful, angry, blood-letting issue to go along with it? Wow, that's pretty honest.

He was the love of your life? No, he was the one you were/are in love with. The love of your life is a title you give to someone on your deathbed. It's not a prediction.

You got dumped. That means it's all on your head. He got to pull the plug so he had already worked through this ahead of time. THAT'S why he seems to be able to move on so quickly, he already had.

Your heart wants to believe that you two were in the same place the moment he broke up, making it even harder to understand. Well, stop believing that. You two were no where NEAR the same place on that day. That was the day he got honest, but he'd been there for a long time already.

Him viewing your blog or not? Irrelevant.
Him saying nice things to you after the breakup? Irrelevant.
You actually figuring out anything he's thinking? Irrelevant.

None of those things change reality. None will actually help you at all. You got dumped, and now you have the undesirable requirement of getting through it and getting on with it. It just is what it is.

The sooner you forgive him, the sooner you can move on. As long as you're hating him or what he did, it's just you giving him more energy pointlessly.

What do you think?

Wow.. you, I think I kind of hate him for treating me like this.. In fact I was at the stage of forgive, followed by anger... My heart don really sink so badly now.. In fact I'm working very hard, I go gym every weekdays, I meet up with frens, I work very hard..

Still even though I'm moving on, there is something that is stuck...

Even in the worst abusive relationships when people move on they still have an empty place that still has feelings for them so it is normal to have that feeling that something is stuck...

Forgiveness followed by anger? That's not how it works. Be mad now, THEN forgive him so you can heal.

Sounds like you're on the right path. You feel stuck, but you're not. Onward.

Even in the worst abusive relationships when people move on they still have an empty place that still has feelings for them so it is normal to have that feeling that something is stuck...

Well... I shld consider myself lucky for not being abused?

Well... i shld consider myself lucky for not being abused?
DOH! No, they meant that having that "stuck" feeling is normal. Even if your guy had been the worst monster on the planet and you had to leave to save your life (which wasn't the case), even THEN you would have that empty hole feeling to get over.

It's perfectly natural and you will get through it, that's all they meant.

I will... In fact I hoping that someone would have gave me a diff ans... from a guy's point of view..

Guess, I'm thinking too much... If he would have come back to me, he would have done it sooner... And being such a ego guy, I dun think he will EVER find me..

Well... i shld consider myself lucky for not being abused?


My point is you are going to have feelings hurt, anger, misgivings,.
It is normal break up process.

Anyway, how shld I get the stuff from him and he have stuff that is with me also...

In fact, I was thinking of mailing him or meet up with his friend and pass it to him...

Does he want his stuff back?
If he doesn't want his stuff back then you might have a harder time and need to get the police involved.