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View Full Version : Do I tell her how I feel? The crazy "exes ex is suicidal" thing is ending.


jrsg
Jun 18, 2008, 04:30 PM
So,
Some of you may know my story from my previous post here :"My exes ex is suicidal." (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental-emotional-health/exs-ex-suicidal-224242.html)
Here is my last question her:
Okay,
So my ex girlfriends ex boyfriend is suicidal. We will call the girlfriend 'Mary' and her ex boyfriend 'John,' and myslef 'Joe.'

Mary went out with John for 4 months. John loved Mary, to the point he was infatuated with her. However, Mary didn't feel that way about John. John is 21, Mary is 16, and I am 16 as well. John, being 21, wants marriage, kids, and a family life. Mary, being 16, just wants a little fun, and someone to trust and support her. Maybe a highschool sweetheart. I met Mary at school, and we became good friends quickly. I found out one day that she broke up with John. 2 weeks later, me and Mary were dating. Please note that I didn't ask for her to break up with him, she did it by her choice. So we went out for 2 weeks, then she dumped me. In a short version, John tried to kill himself when he figured out that Mary and I were dating. She wanted a break, which I completly agreed with, considering someone could die over our relationship...

So we are still good friends, and she talks to me about John.

John says that if Mary doesn't go back to him, then he will kill himself. John is really giving her no choice here. He even set up rules:
Some are: Mary can't break up with him, Mary can't be creeped out when John talks about kids and marriage, and things like that. She is going to agree, so the guy doesn't kill himself.
She plans to be a b**ch to him so that he dumps her. This will hopefully solve the problem. And make him stop loving her.

I should also mention that John was in counseling for suicidal thoughts before, and he recently stopped the meetings. He has been mentally evaluated, and they say he needs more counseling. He obviously does.

But what do you guys think I and Mary should do here? Is the plan to make John fall out of love with Mary a good one?

What are your opinions on this plan, and do you have any alternative ideas?
Thanks


Anyway, you should really know this update, and I need some advice too.

Please don't be too disapointed, but she decided to go through with her plan. The plan where she goes back out with him, then tries to get him to dump her by being a bi**h to him. This way, he is all good. Also, know he is getting counselling from a professional now.

Anyway, now, she wants to break up with him again. And, I think she may want to try a relationship between me and her again. I saw her today, and she said the reason she broke up wth me is because she didn't want to put me through the whole thing between her and this suicidal ex. Now she says she is going to end it, and seems to be hinting me to ask her for another chance at a relationship, even though she ended it.

What I want to do, is let her know how I feel. That I want to try again with the relationship.

I don't think she knows how I feel, because I kind of hid my feelings from her when we broke up. She thinks I don't care about her.

So, I want to know what you think, of me telling her this. And, will she actually leave this guy for good this time? And, do you think she is hinting me to ask to try again? Does she want me to say that I still love her? Or is she just talking to me as a friend?

Thanks

N0help4u
Jun 18, 2008, 04:57 PM
If she stays with him that is not a healthy relationship it is called emotional blackmail.
Nobody should have to stay with somebody for the wrong reasons.
She needs to tell him that she will never consider even being with him until he gets counseling and gets over this. He needs to learn that this is not fair to her and it certainly is not fair. She needs to tell him that is not fair to make her responsible for his bad choices and if that is what he thinks love is then she can't be a part of his life.
She needs to turn it back on him. She needs to realize that what he expects from her is not love but a nightmare.

jrsg
Jun 18, 2008, 05:21 PM
I know, and she knows the relationship they have now isn't healthy. If he doesn't dump her soon, she plans to end it for good, as she should.

Thanks for the response.