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pranavkale120
Jun 17, 2008, 12:15 AM
My name is pranav kale.I had been in a relationship with for an year... at first,we were very happy together and we both used to feel tat we are made for each other.but afterwards things started to get ugly.she said she was tired of my possessiveness and restrictiveness.but to be honest I was never tat restrictive.after that a guy came into her life and they became great friends.and at the end of the year , she came to me and said "i dont think we both are meant to be together.i think we should break up". And she also told me that she had started liking tat guy.I was totally devastated by all this.but even though her love for me was not strong,I love her with my heart and my soul.but I am not being able to make a decision whether I should try to get her back.also do I deserve a girl who disrespected my feelings and left me?please help me.

frustrated step
Jun 17, 2008, 12:34 AM
Move on. Your are too posessive. She was clear with you. Maybe you think it isn't fair because you have feelings for her, but since she doesn't have those feelings for you, you lose. Not fun, but that's life. Leave her completely alone, don't bother her, don't act mean to her, just move on. Life does that to people. You never know who is watching how you act about this, if you handle it in a loving, caring adult manner someone important may notice and you'll meet the person you were meant to be with someday. Learn to love yourself. Learn to like being with yourself and other people will enjoy being around you more.

pranavkale120
Jun 17, 2008, 10:09 PM
Thanks...

jrsg
Jun 17, 2008, 10:38 PM
even though her love for me was not strong,i love her with my heart and my soul

- Do you really want a relationship where you know she doesn't share the feelings you feel for her?


do i deserve a girl who disrespected my feelings and left me?

- You deserve a girl who loves you.

- You could try to get her back, but that may just because you were just dumped. In my opinion , you should move on. Initiate NC (No Contact) with the girl, and try to forget. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you know what's best. Do you want to be in a relationship that isn't balanced? Don't you want a girl who loves you as much as you do her? I know its tough, but move on.

Visit the thread: "What to expect when you get dumped!" (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/what-expect-when-you-get-dumped-123862.html) I think it may help you.

And, if you choose to initiate NC, visit "The NC Calender II." It is a great place for discussion of your NC, and support with your NC. There is a link in my signature.

Good luck, and remember, we are here to help and support. Break ups are always hard, and this is a great site to express your feelings, ask for advice, and sometimes just flat out rant.

pranavkale120
Jun 19, 2008, 02:17 AM
Well I agree with you that I don't want a girl who does not love me as much as what I love her,but my heart says that there is a hope that my ex-girlfriend would come back and start loving me the same way I love her.dont you think its worth a shot?

nethy
Jun 19, 2008, 02:41 AM
Pranav, there's always hope. But read around this forum. You'll see that in the vast, vast majority of cases once a relationship is over, it's over forever. Love is not something you can make happen. It happens by itself when both people want it to happen.

If this girl is with someone else, and has said she doesn't want you, then that's really what you have to take as reality.

Is it worth a shot? Honestly, truly, I don't think it is. I don't know your situation exactly, but I do know that chasing after an old relationship generally only pushes people away further. It's tough my friend, it's really tough, but you have to move on.

I agree with jrsg above. Break off contact. You're right about one thing - you do deserve someone who loves you. In your case though, I don't think that someone is your ex.

She's out there somewhere though. Be yourself for a while. You'll see that once that happens you'll find it much easier to move on.






well i agree with you that i dont want a girl who does not love me as much as wat i love her,but my heart says that there is a hope that my ex-girlfriend would come back and start loving me the same way i love her.dont u think its worth a shot?

talaniman
Jun 19, 2008, 05:44 AM
Its obvious for whatever reason, she doesn't feel the same as you, and that will never work, so keep your dignity, and accept she is going in another direction, and you go in your own direction.

We all have to face the fact that though we love, and enjoy others, sometimes we must move on, and cope with our feelings of loss in a positive way, so we can learn, and be happy with ourselves. We cannot control others, only ourselves, so enjoy the memories of good times you had with her, and move on, and make new ones.

JBeaucaire
Jun 19, 2008, 07:16 AM
You can try to get her back, but the girl you get back is a girl who doesn't like you as much as you like her, a girl who can dump you again if she gets distracted.

Is that REALLY the girl you want to keep giving your heart to? Really?

pranavkale120
Jun 20, 2008, 01:37 AM
Hey thanks everyone for their suggestions.I really appreciate it.well... you are right... I don't want to give my heart who gets easily distracted and who doesn't love me as much as I do... but is it wrong to hope that she will change?is it wrong to hope that one day she will love me the same way I do?and basically,by giving her a chance,I have nothing to lose,right?

happy_jester
Jun 20, 2008, 02:09 AM
Hello there,"pranavkale120"

I really do feel the pain & hurt that you're going through,as a result of this.

The pain that you're feeling right now,will go,but only if you let this girl go.

talaniman
Jun 20, 2008, 05:10 AM
but is it wrong to hope that she will change?is it wrong to hope that one day she will love me the same way I do?and basically,by giving her a chance,I have nothing to lose,right?

Wrong, all the way around. Let me explain, your whole future is dependent on how fast you learn the skills to cope with this loss, and move forward in a positive way. Holding on to false hope, will only keep you stuck on stupid, waiting for a miracle that can't happen. Life goes on without you, and you pass up many chances to grow, and find your own happiness. Accept you cannot control someone else, and they have moved in another direction, and its time for you to do the same. You might not want to, but get with it and heal, and move on to better things. That's right, BETTER things are out there, if you let go. And get busy.

pranavkale120
Jun 23, 2008, 03:56 AM
Thanks a lot man