It all started in the library in college, one kiss... and boom the next thing I knew we were kissing everyday. 1 week later we began a secret relationship. One thing led to the other, and six months later, her parents were beginning to find out about us, due to the of love letters and cards we've given to each other... Because she was girl, and I was one too. Everything was going downhill after that, she began to avoid me, started telling me she's into guys, and in fact we split apart because she wanted things to cool down. 3 months later, we were on our way to the beach didn't hang out the whole summer because in my head she wanted things to cool down, then I found out she had a relationship with guy in her writing class, that day going up to the beach she couldn't stop crying, and it was because he had dumped her. I didn't know what to think or feel then, because I was so clueless but at the same time, I realized that I loved her. It wasn't just a experiment, that every girl wants to try out in college, one does get attached and start to care for that person. I was so hurt that she 1. didn't tell me about this guy 2. avoided hanging out with me the whole summer but yet still called to pick figths to whom I was hanging out with. 3. She still wanted this guy despite he had dumped her she was more crazy over him.
I was a fool and so blinded. I started chasing after her, knowing fully she wasn't going to come back to me, but my heart couldn't stand defeat. Instead it believed more than anything she cared about me, because at one point I felt the love. I felt she was more crazy over me when we were dating... can all be lost because of that guy? Instead I stood by her side, and tried to please her in any way, cards, chocolates, anything she wanted or looked at, I bought it for her. Despite all of that, we still had an awkward friendship, arguments every week, jealousy etc, not healthy for either none of us, but yet none of us wanted to end.
Her mom was the one deeply against it gays. Enough to disown her, and I knew they have a very close relationship and she wouldn't throw that away for me. One night she confessed to her mom about us, her mom flipped out, called me and cursed me out. I was still there for my love, supported her, gave her money for lunch so she wouldn't starve. I really love her. However on past Thursday, she tells me she's interested in someone else another guy. I don't know what came over me, jealousy and rage. The only thought I had was to get even, because after one year, of trying and spending a fortune trying to woo this girl, she's going to run off with some other dude. Like I realized What an idiot!. Are people that selfish that you can give them the world and be there, and fail to see the good things one has done? In reactiion to that, I called her mom out and spilled the beans out about her past relationships sleeping with married men, and the dude in her writing class ended up to be gay anyway. I know I should have left that for Karma, but at the same time, I felt betrayed, and I played it lower than she did. Yes it doesn't make me a better person. I don't regret this, but at the same time, I don't know what to do anymore. My life seems to be at still... I don't know if I would ever want to date another women, or just go out with men> ? I just know that I've never fell for a guy the way I fell for her. What to do??

Unless and until you can feel something for another person without needing them to feel it back, and if they don't NOT being a psycho dangerous "call their mother and mess with their life" girl, perhaps you should back off dating ANYONE right now.

Seriously, cross you and you appear willing and able to lash out. That's horrid. And if you don't know it's horrid, no one is safe in a relationship with you.

Without adding the experimenting and gay issues, 95% of all relationships end for one reason or another. They just do. If you haven't developed the skills for getting through that process without wielding emotional hatchets on your supposed love interests, heaven help them.

You may be fine continuing to pursue a gay relationship with her, but she's not. Are you aware how this isn't just a "your date doesn't want to date you anymore"... it's also a "Oh yeah, you're the wrong sex for her" issue? You do realize this ends the whole discussion right there?

She's done experimenting. You actually don't get a vote on her sexual preference.

Thanks a lot... it was really helpful

Love between a man and a woman is different than love between woman and a woman and is different between man and man. Just like one relationship is different from another.

WIth that said, and you being open to both kinds of love, assess people as they come into your life as people. Develop friendships, and then decide what you want. You will be attracted to who you are attracted to.

It sounds as if you both played a lot of games with each other. She is just as guilty for misbehavior as you are because at the very minimum she does sound like she led you on. With that said, you should never have revealed all that to her mother. You know that though.

I do agree with the poster above in that you need to calm down and wait to date until you can be more mature. For yourself more than anything. With that said, finding the right person will probably cure most of those actions- meaning when treated with respect, you will return respect.

Good luck