Seattle_Rob
Jun 13, 2008, 10:52 PM
After searching and searching online for hours reading countless articles on "How to Get Her Back" which only led me to their books and DVD promos, I found this forum and hope that someone out there can be of some assistance for me.
My girlfriend broke up with me today. :( I'm in real pain that I haven't felt from any other relationship I've ever had before including my ex-wife... but I'll get into that.
March 7th 2008, my wife decides she can't take it anymore and tells me she wants a divorce. The next few days were hell. I mean total HELL! My guts were destroyed, but at the same time they should not have been and I should have seen it coming because in the 3 & 1/2 years we were married, I became very unhappy after about the first year and even saw myself divorcing her then. So anyway, after she decides to divorce me I have to look for a new apartment because she and her kids are staying in the house. I find a great place not too far from work, family, friends, etc. I found this place on St. Patrick's Day. Later on St. Patty's I met up with a couple of friends at a pub for some beers and after hanging there for a couple of hours, this beautiful girl bumps into me... literally, and we start talking and it's going great. Keep in mind my wife told me a week ago she wants to divorce me. So I'm having this great time with this girl and as I'm getting ready to leave, she asks for my number. I explain to her my situation, i.e. Going through a divorce and things are kind of crazy right now and will be moving the next Saturday. She totally understood and wanted my number anyway. She plays it coy and calls me after the 2 day rule, and we make plans to meet for dinner the night I move out of my ex's house into my own place.
Saturday comes along and the move went well, well in the term that I'm out of that house, and I meet up with the new girl for dinner down the street from my new place. We closed out the bar and as we were getting into our cars, the uncomfortable silence crept in and then she said, "Oh, did you want a kiss?" "Yes, I do."
To make the long story short, I've been going through the battles of the divorce and will be signing the final paperwork this upcoming Monday, and through the whole ordeal, the new girl has been very supportive, caring, nurturing, etc. and I've fallen in love with her.
From the first date until today, she has stressed that she wasn't looking to get into a serious relationship right now, but that's what it had worked it's way into and because I care about her and love her the way I do, I had insecurities about the "guy friends" she has and has had for a long time and she got spooked and felt that I was jealous and didn't trust her. During the breakup, I reassured her that I don't have a problem with her guy friends anymore and am fine with the friendships she has with them because I know they won't be more than that, yet she was still crying and wouldn't change her mind.
Now, I know that she still cares a great deal for me and there isn't another guy in the mix, but she still didn't want to be together anymore. I've talked to some friends and told them that I would rather wait for her because I know that we would have a great future together, than to forget about her all together.
I know that timing was terrible for us because she isn't looking for a serious relationship, and I'm getting out of a crappy marriage. My questions are:
1. Will we get back together if we give each other the time apart we need to take care of ourselves?
2. I don't want to lose her, what can I do to make sure that the perfect relationship we had can and will proceed stronger than before? Keep in mind, that if I didn't mention the insecurities I had... HAD with her guy friends, that we would probably still be very happy together. We had no problems before today.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and I appreciate any help you could give.
- Rob =)
My girlfriend broke up with me today. :( I'm in real pain that I haven't felt from any other relationship I've ever had before including my ex-wife... but I'll get into that.
March 7th 2008, my wife decides she can't take it anymore and tells me she wants a divorce. The next few days were hell. I mean total HELL! My guts were destroyed, but at the same time they should not have been and I should have seen it coming because in the 3 & 1/2 years we were married, I became very unhappy after about the first year and even saw myself divorcing her then. So anyway, after she decides to divorce me I have to look for a new apartment because she and her kids are staying in the house. I find a great place not too far from work, family, friends, etc. I found this place on St. Patrick's Day. Later on St. Patty's I met up with a couple of friends at a pub for some beers and after hanging there for a couple of hours, this beautiful girl bumps into me... literally, and we start talking and it's going great. Keep in mind my wife told me a week ago she wants to divorce me. So I'm having this great time with this girl and as I'm getting ready to leave, she asks for my number. I explain to her my situation, i.e. Going through a divorce and things are kind of crazy right now and will be moving the next Saturday. She totally understood and wanted my number anyway. She plays it coy and calls me after the 2 day rule, and we make plans to meet for dinner the night I move out of my ex's house into my own place.
Saturday comes along and the move went well, well in the term that I'm out of that house, and I meet up with the new girl for dinner down the street from my new place. We closed out the bar and as we were getting into our cars, the uncomfortable silence crept in and then she said, "Oh, did you want a kiss?" "Yes, I do."
To make the long story short, I've been going through the battles of the divorce and will be signing the final paperwork this upcoming Monday, and through the whole ordeal, the new girl has been very supportive, caring, nurturing, etc. and I've fallen in love with her.
From the first date until today, she has stressed that she wasn't looking to get into a serious relationship right now, but that's what it had worked it's way into and because I care about her and love her the way I do, I had insecurities about the "guy friends" she has and has had for a long time and she got spooked and felt that I was jealous and didn't trust her. During the breakup, I reassured her that I don't have a problem with her guy friends anymore and am fine with the friendships she has with them because I know they won't be more than that, yet she was still crying and wouldn't change her mind.
Now, I know that she still cares a great deal for me and there isn't another guy in the mix, but she still didn't want to be together anymore. I've talked to some friends and told them that I would rather wait for her because I know that we would have a great future together, than to forget about her all together.
I know that timing was terrible for us because she isn't looking for a serious relationship, and I'm getting out of a crappy marriage. My questions are:
1. Will we get back together if we give each other the time apart we need to take care of ourselves?
2. I don't want to lose her, what can I do to make sure that the perfect relationship we had can and will proceed stronger than before? Keep in mind, that if I didn't mention the insecurities I had... HAD with her guy friends, that we would probably still be very happy together. We had no problems before today.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and I appreciate any help you could give.
- Rob =)