Hi everyone. I am just feeling frusterated right now and need to vent and perhaps get some advice. My roommate and were good friends however we have grown apart in the past months. I have a boyfriend I have been with 6 months and I usually go to his place as opposed to him coming over. Its easier he has his own place, and our place does not get much privacy plus the bathroom is in my bedroom. Its just small. Anyway so I am not home a lot and besides her boyfriend is over at our place a lot so even though they ask if I'm OK with it I do feel like a third wheel. I would rather go to my boyfriends or somewhere else. I feel bad but I can't help the way I feel . I love my roommate but just feel like we have grown apart and I am OK with that but she is angry with me. I still want to be friends and good friends but its hard because I feel bad with every move I make, when I'm not home,etc. I am almost 30 for gods sake I want to do what I want.

Now the thing today that bugged me is that we were talking online at work and she asked if I was going ot be home tonight , I will not be. (I was lst night. She was not) so she said we really need to clean the house. She asked if we could set a date to do so. I said yes. I hate problems and I hate confrontation. The thing is that I have already cleaned the house from mostly top to bottom a few months ago and it is already discusting. I am not there all the much as I said so the mess is not from me. It annoyes me. Every time I go home its messy. I don't want to not help her clean because I know she will get angry and like I said I don't want undue problems since things are already tense with us. Im just annoyed and almost want to say ummm I did spring cleaning a long time ago and I am NOT a messy person. But I won't say it. I don't need additional problems.

I just needed to vent. THANK YOU

Living with a friend is much harder than just being friends.Roommates can be trying. My good friend and I moved in together after six years as really good friends.We made a point before moving in to discuss who would do what chores and about boyfriends and privacy. The first year was fine the next two no good. I like you was not home a lot but ended up with all the tasks.garbage ,dishes ,general cleaning.
Hopefully you feel better after a chance to vent. But I think you and you friend should have a conversation without boyfriends present and discuss your roles .Sometimes clearing the air will help. I know you do not want problems but she needs to know how you feel. If you let this fester it will ruin your friendship.