I'm married, but my ex I cheated with is now avoiding me. He is also married. Why do you think he is now avoiding me?:confused:

'Cause he's married and doesn't want his marriage ruined by his infidelities, he is trying to keep you away so his wife doesn't find out he is a disgusting cheater.

Agree totally with Charlotte. Take it from someone who has just ruined her life by having an affair. It can only end in heartache for all concerned... LET HIM GO

Either he doesn't want to ruin his marriage or yours. Stay away, and get over it, fast.

Hopefully he smartened up(unlike you) and realized he made a mistake in committing a SIN! I'm glad you think infidelity is such a light hearted matter. Why worry about your husband and the emotional heartache he would be going through if he knew what was going on. Why don't you do him the pleasure of getting a divorce, the pain would be a little less knowing he can move on from a liar and cheat.

I give a lot of credit to the ex, who has erased you from his life after he made a mistake. As you can tell from the other forum posts, cheaters are so easily given advice to.

Wow what a question. You are wondering why your married boyfriend is avoiding you, who is also married. Here are some reasons:

1. He realized what he was doing was wrong
2. He is not avioding you, he is home with his wife - you know the one he married
3. He realized his mistake and wants to work on things with his family
4. The pain that he was causing his wife was to great- he decided he did not need you anymore.
5. (and I hope for his wife's sake this is not the case) he has found another girlfriend and has left you in the dust.

Either way, move on. Focus on YOUR marriage.

He's smarter than you're being. Possibly desiring to get his "good character" back. Being with you turned you both into "bad characters."

Leave him alone.

I'm married, but my ex I cheated with is now avoiding me. He is also married. Why do you think he is now avoiding me?:confused:
He is your ex for a reason. He's moved on, and you should too.

You're both married, that should answer your question

Do you even car about your husband or only your ex? Where does his feelings come into place and how do you think he would feel if he knew or the wife of your ex?

You seem selfish and maybe you should'nt be married. Your ex have every right not to have any contact with you, he don't want you anymor for whatever reasons so move on and focus on your marriage and not cheating, how would you like it if your husband was sleeping his ex?

This question is shamefull!!
Why are you puzzled? Are you for real?. I think you have some issues, if you can't figure this one out by yourself: you are both married, there are two other people who are at risk of getting hurt (not including any children,if applicable).
FIX UP and start being a wife instead of worrying about someone who is CLEARLY not worrying about you!!

I'm married, but still in love with ex
Hi! I really have a serious problem. My husband is military and he has been in Korea for 4 months now, and will be there for another 8 until he comes home. I had decided to move back home with my family. I just recently ran into my ex that I was so in love with, that I couldn't imagine my life without him. Until he broke my heart. We have been texting and talking on the phone a lot, and we both had an affair. He is also married. He was my first everything. I have only slept with him once, but I'm finding it harder and harder not to want to be with him. I don love my husband very much, but I can't seem to get my ex out of my he

I copy and paste from your other posted yesterday since it relate to this post.

Don't string your husband along if you don't love him. He could be thinking everything great while he's in the army. He don't deserve to be cheated on because what's done in the dark will come to the light. Get a divorce and leave this married man alone.

You need some personal counseling bad. Having said that, your ex probably has someone new to cheat with.
You can't be surprised at that can you?

I'm married, but my ex I cheated with is now avoiding me. He is also married. Why do you think he is now avoiding me?:confused:
I just got a look at some of your old posts, and I can say you this (for someone this is called harsh, but at your position, I don't think you have anything to lose):

1. Your marriage is near the end. You are a dependent person, afraid of being alone, but can't find someone else to be with (I call this a looser), before you can leave your actual man.

2. You don't know, but keep lying to yourself that you know what it means to love someone. We can't love someone, if we can't love ourself first. And you do not seem to me like the person who knows what all this means. You say you love your ex, but... common.

You need to leave your marriage, otherwise it will hurt you or your man, leave your past, and begin a completely a new life. A Big new Start, in another country, somewhere you don't know anyone that can influence your weak personality.

Any guy who loves a girl couldn't accept that a girl move closely with other guy. In your case it s the only the reason. If he s living better with his wife. Then just leave him and try to make better life with your husbend.it s better for both.

Troll...

You were his booty call. That's all. He feels more for his wife than he will ever feel for you, and he regrets the affair, else what would stop him from carrying on? Move on. You have a husband, work on things with him. Or save him the worse pain if you don't love him and get a divorce. Surely you're more worried about your husband finding out? Than your ex who was the past, still the past and always will be the past.

Nope, distant, I firmly believe she is a selfish girl who only cares about herself and could careless about her HUSBAND. I hope he finds out and divorces you, and if you have kids, I hope he gets custody of them too.

Haha. Well yer I don't know why I said the thing about working on things with her husband :S lack of food? But coming to think of it properly, I would be so p*ssed off if I were your husband. On the whole, he is truly better off without you and I think you know that deep down. ESPECIALLY if you have kids, that would be VERY selfish so suit your own wants and not thinking about how your kids would feel as a result.

I think, also, if I were your kid, I would be really heartbroken that this had to come between the family just because you wanted something and couldn't control yourself.

I'm married, but my ex I cheated with is now avoiding me. He is also married. Why do you think he is now avoiding me?:confused:

secretive2, I will attempt to respond to your question before I step on a soapbox. There could be many reasons that he's avoiding you, so in order to give an opinion, more information leading up to the avoidance is needed.

{{STEPPING ON SOAPBOX}}
WOW! I am appalled that so many posters are giving this poster a {BRUTAL} beating just because she asked a question!! Part of being a human being entails making MISTAKES, which sounds like SOME OF YOU RIGHTEOUS posters been PERFECT all your lives and MISTAKE FREE. Wait, I forgot to include SIN FREE, too! You all need to get up off your high horses and go categorize your mistakes and sins with GOOD vs. BAD. :rolleyes:

People do different things for different reasons. Even if WE KNEW why they did what they did, it still would not give us a RIGHT to judge them based upon what we think is right or wrong. My mom gave (still gives, too) me all sort of GREAT ADVICE when I was coming up, but one that I often remember and PRACTICE is "If you can't help a person, don't hurt them", so I suggest that YOU PERFECT PEOPLE give it a try. ;)
{{Stepping off Soapbox}}

Realizing I am NOT mistake free,

Michelle

When all know people make mistakes, but some mistakes could be avoid. It can even leave some ever lasting affect on some people lives.

Getting involved with a married man, while your married, it a double mistake. It hurt her husband and his wife, but who cares about them.

Her husband is in the army and if she no longer wishes to be married to him, then simply get a divorce, don't cheat. That's what makes a person selfish because they don't car who they hurt. Its seems like the married man no longer wants to be bother, at least with her.

When you make a mistake you even correct it or don't. When people post on here, you get a wide variety of opionons, good or bad. Sometimes its something you don't want to hear because it's the truth, and people don't like to hear that.

People get judge all the time, but its not the person you judging it's their actions. Actions speak louder then words and people actions can tell you a lot about it person. If you don't want to hear what people have to say then don't ask for people advice.

Cause he probably is second guessing the relationship and doesn't think it's worth his marriage he's basically trying to ween you off... forget about him he;s your ex for a reason put all your time and energy into your husband

Michelle, I appreciate what you are trying to say with the soapbox speech, but it circumvents the whole purpose of places like this. People come here to talk openly about what they're doing, why, whether it's smart, get the brow-beating if necessary to shake some sense into themselves, and do so in the safety and company of strangers.

This environment is all about honest feedback AND judgements. If you're not willing to look at a situation and make a judgement call, your advice (if any) will be much less effective.

If you think I'm wrong, that's fine. But all of us have PLENTY of people in our everyday lives willing to hold us and console us and tell us "everything is going to be ok" even when that's totally not true. Our real-life friends are frequently USELESS in the feedback department since they often forgive everything and are happily "non-judgemental".

People come here usually because all that real-life hand-holding doesn't work and they know it. They want some honesty, they want to hear some brutal facts and experiences.

So, again, I appreciate why you said what you did, I really do. But the idea that you have to be perfect/sinless to give appropriate commentary is a non-starter. We're all guilty of screwing up, and sometimes the only way we'll ever do the right thing is if some stranger looks us square in the eye and says "Hey, Cut it out!!"

Nobody here has the need for perfection from the other posters, and none are scared of the judgements of others. It's one of the joys of the open forum. We get to face it all and it's very healthy as a result.

Michelle, I appreciate what you are trying to say with the soapbox speech, but it circumvents the whole purpose of places like this. People come here to talk openly about what they're doing, why, whether or not it's smart, get the brow-beating if necessary to shake some sense into themselves, and do so in the safety and company of strangers.

So, again, I appreciate why you said what you did, I really do. But the idea that you have to be perfect/sinless to give appropriate commentary is a non-starter.

JB, thanks for sharing and your explanation. Please do not get me wrong, I FULLY understand that this is an OPEN forum and people will say what they may; all in all, it is the internet. Although my post might have come off as one of getting feelings hurt, stepping on toes, passing judgements or what have you, the soapbox talk was because for whatever reason, "HER" question was overlooked and totally focused on her being married and messing with a married man.

I mean, I might be wrong, but I think she was looking for an answer regarding him avoiding her, not about how wrong and horrible she was for messing with another woman's husband and screwing over her husband.

Michelle

Yeah, well, if someone here asks how they can put their hand in a campfire without getting burned, someone MAY tell them to get an asbestos glove. Most of us would tell her to keep her hand out of the fire, which isn't what she asked, but a better answer, usually.

Mainly, my response to you was aimed at your response telling everyone else NOT to be harsh or judgemental. Sharing your own differing viewpoint in the topic at hand IS the right thing to do if you feel your input is unique, or early enough in the thread to not need uniqueness.

Even disagreeing with others already posted responses is great. But telling people not to answer or judge the situation is all I was referring to as being "contrary to the goal" here on the forum. Everything else... go for it. The more shared wisdom/experience, the better.