Been having sex for a year and a half and can't organsim I could have sex for 20mins or even 5 hours or longer and still won't even in oral sex but if masturbate I can orgasm does any one know wats wrong or can help 22year old male

Well... how often do you self stim?

Masturbation can teach a person about their bodies, what they like and need... but it can also skew your perspective and become a distraction. Good sex often to the ability to mentally be lost in the moment... which means connecting to that other person...

If you are commonly using visual stimulation, like porn, and self stimulation to get off, you are substituting these things in place of the buildup of sensual tension and connection with a partner. If this is what's happening, you are desensitizing yourself and id suggest backing way off the self stim. But maybe this isn't what's going on... you'll need to post more about what's happening.

So you are having sex. Have you tried getting off immediately after intercourse started... I agree, this isn't good form for the woman, and id suggest you first get her there orally or manually first... but if you are holding back for her, perhaps you are being desensitized. Again... if you hold back some, or completely focus on her, you are trying to place a temporary mental block in place... something that keeps you going until she's had hers and then you want to be able to lose that block and release... sometimes easier said than done. So are you trying to focus completely on her at first and not the sensations you are experiencing?

Are you taking any meds? Do you drink a lot? Any health issues? Any mental stresses? Do you use birth control? Worried about her being pregnant?

What position do you tend to take? It can make a difference for the man, just as it can for the woman. Positions from the side (her laying on her side and you approaching either from a kneeling position on you on your side but not spooning her, can give a different feel... also she can reach down and stim your "guys" to amp up sensations while you have different angles and access to her chest and rear than you do in typical missionary.

What about foreplay? Personally, much of what people consider foreplay (kissing, necking, petting, etc) I think should be held back as long as possible... you can build up sensual tension with simple hands on skin tracing a form. Simple, deliberate kisses instead of all out mashing... why go after the neck early when it can be used later to push a person over the top? Understand I'm not saying foreplay is not needed and important... I'm saying the more you can get yourself and your lover there mentally with less physical "tricks" early on... the more things you have to pull out later to amp up the sensations when you plateau.

So I guess you need to explain more about what's going on before we can understand what might be happening.

Yes, this is the one issue about too much masturbation that I have often had, if you do it a lot, or get so used to a certain feel ( your hand) then other feelings do not do it for you. Try not masterbating for a couple of weeks before you have sex the next time.

I have one thing I can add, but first, do you enjoy spending all that time in bed?