IF you broke up with your first love, how long did it take you to get OVER your ex?

There is no clear cut answer for that.. everyone is different

I just broke up with my first love on Friday. We were together for 13 months.. it's been a rough ride so far.. I love him so much but I just can't be with him.

No contact is the best thing.. I asked my Ex to not call me or contact me because it makes it so much harder to hear their voice all the time.. he didn't repect that and is trying to call me.. I have ignored him so far..

Believe me, no contact is really the only way to move on.. I tried breaking up with him 6 months ago and we kept in contact the whole time and it made me miserable and we ended up getting back together.

I'm sorry about your heartbreak, we are all here for you

I've heard that you never forget your first love & I hope with all my heart they're wrong... I'm here because of my first love... We were together for 2 yrs... It's sooo hard!. they all say it'll make me stronger... but it just makes me scared!. For me it has been 3 LONG months... I'm going through the worst moments of my life... but I'm feeling better now than I was before, so it seriously gets better with time... Some days are going to be bad, real bad.. but others will be easier.. Just be patient & no contact will help... at first its going to suck because you want to talk to him and see how he's doing, see if he misses you.. but just be strong and it does get better in time... how much time?. can't tell, no one can.. just stay away from him(as hard as it is) it'll make your healing process easier, faster... & I wish you the best!. BE STRONG :)

You never forget your first love, I still remember mine with fond memories ( Hi Wendy) but you get over it as you move on, and then you move on and go on to someone else.

What do you feel when you think about her?. The thing is that I don't want to remember him, and still hurt... IDK if you understand me :(

I say no timeline to give here... If you made or think you've made any mistakes, you need to forgive yourself for those mistakes before you can move on.
Other than that, NC works well, and just move on. Date again, get out in the world. DON'T spend all your time in bed, thinking about him/her. Try to distract yourself with activities, other friends, and that will help you forget.

But it is always different for that first love. I don't think I have felt that yet (only 16), so I can't comment on how to get over that.

what do you feel when you think about her??...The thing is that i dont wanna remember him, and still hurt...IDK if you understand me :(

Hey damaged, I know how you're feeling... I just got out of my relationship... with my first real love (4 years).

I think the point here is that you never forget them because they were your first for so many things. And usually we have these first loves when we are young, when we are very impressionable so they usually have a big part in shaping the kind of people we turn into.

In the future when you look back at this its not going to be with a sense of pain. You will remember the things you learned and the good times you shared. (and bad) I was with mine for 4 years, you for two, so how could you just forget about them, especially when they were such a big part of our lives.

Right now all you associate with your ex is this pain, because that is all we know right now and can't picture feeling any different. You just got to trust and have faith that you are going to feel good again. I still feel pretty crumby (only 1.5 months in) but I know with time it will pass.

You are going to be in love again, maybe several more times until you actually find the `one`, and when you do you will be grateful that life turned out the way it did.

Do u ever feel the same way you felt with your first love?. 4 example: I felt this l0vey d0vey,head 0ver heals,crazy for him love( it felt s0 right,so beautiful :(
... w0uld I feel like that again??

Thx NNG... Its so hard... but I guess this is the way things are supposed to be... like they say "everything happens for a reason"... prob something so much better is waiting for us
:)

Do u ever feel the same way you felt with your first love??...4 example: I felt this l0vey d0vey,head 0ver heals,crazy 4 him love( it felt s0 right,so beautiful :(
...w0uld I feel like that again???

We will, promise. I have talked to quite a few people about it, because I was feeling the same way you were. And the answer is always a resounding yes!! Not many people marry there first love, remember that!!

IF you broke up with your first love, how long did it take you to get OVER your ex?
6 months, after a 3 year relationship that started in high school.

Tal..
That's how long it took you?.
You completely got over her?

She still haunts me every now and then, but I have always got things to do, and people to see.

What do you feel when you think about her??
Does it hurt/bother?

Hi Damaged,

How are you doing today my friend?

I'm getting over my first love as well.. she was my first for everything too. Have broken up around 4 months now, no contact for 3 months. It gets easier and I'm seeing other girls. You just have bad days now and again. But keep strong, our lives are just starting and there's much better things in the future (even though we can't see it now).

Hi star..
I'm doing pretty good...
How about you?.
How was your weekend?

My 1st love is one of my best friends now (we started dating in HS in 98, dated for the 1st year of college together, but then drifted apart) we tried to get back together a couple times, but it just wasn't the same. We lost touch for about 3 years, but then became friends again, and now 10 years later, we are great friends. I would have never thought in a million years I would be friends with her since my feelings for her were so strong, but add a few relationships into the blender, and although I care about her a ton, my "relationship" feelings for her are no longer there.

Nice.. I just want to get to that point.. where he doesn't "matter" or it doesn't hurt anymore...

Well my first relationship was an interesting one. Although I didn't have a relationship per-say the way it happened and ended kind of scarred me for a while, like a couple of years. It was one of those puppy love things when I was a freshman in high-school that lasted for like a year however the things she said and did at the end really messed me up for a long while, like I didn't feel good about myself for about 3 years after that. However, time does heal all wounds even ones that you don't think will be and I am a better person for having had that experience as it made me realize a lot of things about myself and this life.

Wow... 3 yrs that's a long time!. but I'm glad you pulled through... I'm also glad to know that one day this won't hurt any longer... TIME is the key.. lol... thx for sharing :)

My first true love pretty much left me at the altar.

I am a proponent of the belief that you know you're over someone when you can look back on the relationship and smile because it happened. Smile at the good times and fully appreciate the part of you that was in love with the person... because it is from that love that you've become who you are... a better person than who you were.

Having loved and lost is a part of life... its how you deal with it that makes all the difference in the world.

As for "time?" It took about 2 years. But I can honestly say that he was a beautiful part of my past. :)

wow...3 yrs thats a long time!!..but im glad you pulled thru...I'm also glad to know that one day this won't hurt any longer...TIME is the key..lol...thx for sharing :)
The 3 year thing was mostly caused by lack of communication with those around me. I didn't share what I was going through with friends and family and as a result I got stuck in a bad state. I know now that this is a no no. Truth be told it still hurts to remember the things she said but now I take them with a grain of salt as obviously she wasn't the right girl for me because if she was she wouldn't have said such destructive things to such a young guy. So life lesson learned when life kicks you to the ground get back up smiling and once you can accomplish that nothing can keep you down.

Wow.. it just makes me scared right now thinking that I'd get over him in 1-2-3 yrss... thats too much time.. That's what bothers me the most about this break up thing.

Let me revise my statement... I wasn't depressed and stressed out for two years. That was only the first month. What I meant when I said that it took me to years to "get over him" I was saying that it took two years to truly know that it was for the best... to be able to look back and with no tears, no regrets, no sorrow, truly say that I was happy... and smile.

I know that he and I were not right for each other. I knew that a few months after he disappeared. It was a horribly hard time for a few months, but you know what? The sun always came up, there was always a dawn after a teary night, and the skies always cleared up after the storms. Focus on that... the things that are not in your control that happen just because... it helps you realize that you CAN control the things in your life that you can... your heart, your emotions, your dreams, desires, wishes for the future... all these things you CAN control. When you feel that you can't? Just look up. The sun is always there.

Even when you can't see it. Its always there.

You can't worry about how long it's going to take or you're just going to get yourself in a rut

An AA quote is something I try to remind myself all the time "take it one day at a time" Don't think about how long it's going to take you to get better, don't think about the past, think about the present.. doing things to distract yourself is good, it's OK to distract yourself because when you finish whatever your doing, you're going to be remind of your current pain, and this will flow in you and you may cry a little, and that's OK, but after a little bit, go do something else to distract yourself.. and right there you have digested some of your heartbreak and you're that much further in your progress

We will, promise. I have talked to quite a few people about it, because I was feeling the same way you were. And the answer is always a resounding yes!!!! Not many people marry there first love, remember that!!!

Good to know, cause I'm looking forward to that feeling again!

wow..it just makes me scared right now thinking that i'd get over him in 1-2-3 yrss...thats too much time..That's what bothers me the most about this break up thing.
It won't take you that long. Talk to your friends, especially the one you can tell anything to, don't under any circumstance get stuck. By that I mean don't let it fester, don't dwell on it, let it go and move on, that was my biggest issue. The words in my signature are actually what brought me out of that bad emotional state I was in.

What I went through was probably out of the norm and I exacerbated it by not sharing as I was afraid of showing weakness to friends and family, which in retrospect is what your friends and family are there to help you with. Learn from my mistakes. Feel what your going to feel and you will eventually get to a point where you just wash your hands of it and at that point everyday subsequent to that you will feel better and better.

Had I been able to find AMHD back when I was 14 I would probably be saying something else but such as life is you are going to live and you are going to learn.

Yea... I don't feel crappy all the time... I barely do... I don't cry like I used to... I'm not saying I'm perfect because I'm not but overall I feel pretty good... I know that me and him can't be together and seriously I don't want him back.. He's not the guy for me.. But what bothers me is that I still remember the good things we did... someone told me that prob I don't miss him, I miss what we had.. and I think its true... bc I really don't want HIM back.. but it bothers me A lot that I think about him & sometimes I get sad & cry... idk if you guys understand me..

& I'm sooo glad I found this site... bc my "friends" are always busy( I understand they have a life) so here everyone is always ready to advise & help you.. so this helps a lot!

Well of course you think about him he was a big part of your life, but it sounds like you are in the right place to start moving forward. You have to remember that your feelings as of right now are going to be like that of a roller coaster. One moment your flying high feeling great about who you are and what your doing the next you think about all the good times with your ex, that is basically what it is to be human. Just be glad you can look back and see that you did have good times but more importantly make sure you know that this process has made you a stronger better person as times of crisis show whom we really are.

yea...i don't feel crappy all the time...i barely do...I don't cry like i used to...I'm not saying im perfect because im not but overall i feel pretty good...i know that me and him can't be together and seriously i dont want him back..He's not the guy for me..But what bothers me is that i still remember the good things we did...someone told me that prob i dont miss him, i miss what we had..and i think its true...bc i really dont want HIM back..but it bothers me ALOT that i think about him & sometimes i get sad & cry...idk if you guys understand me..

& im sooo glad i found this site...bc my "friends" are always busy( i understand they have a life) so here everyone is always ready to advise & help you..so this helps a lot!

You nailed it on the head, you miss what you had and the feeling of being in a relationship. While you know you are not meant to be with this person you still love them, as you would anybody who was such a big part of your life. It's a mourning process, a small piece of you dies and it takes time for you to heal.

TIME.. I got to be patient!!

I had a first love when I was 17 he meant the world to me but he didn't think excatly the same as me though. Which was really hard because we were seeing each other, he made me smile, but then a few months later he left me for his ex. I could have died there and then. It took me a couple of months to get over the hurt I met someone else the ex found out got jealous ( which I felt good at the time) but nothing else happened. A year later we meet up got talking had a bit of "hows your father" lol. Then parted we were friends for a long time, but in my heart I don't think I will ever forget him and still hold a torch for him. I seen him a couple a years ago and he was a complete mess but there was nothing I could do to help him. I still think about him to this day and that was 12 years ago. So yeah over time it all gets better and easier.

I'm so sorry to say this, but its been about.. a yearish for me.
I'm still not over him.
but dating helps.
don't get involved in another relationship just yet.
but date.
keep your mind off him
it'll make u feel 10x better.
believe me!