I am 18 years old and my 19 boyfriend is a gang member of bloods and I have been with him for a year and 1 month and he has got himself into some trouble like running from the cops (aggravated kid napping)<~ never happened only by here say and it was his home boy at the time and he tould lies.and failure to stop at a cop signal being drunk and having vodka in the car and it caught up with him. And he went to jail 6/3/08 and I am so lonely and scared he got shipped to prison today 6/6/08 and he will be there for 60 days he can't have any vistitors and I am going crazy I got to see him for the last time for 2 months 6/5/o8 =( and I am so scared I feel I am alone in this world and I donno what to do noire say anymore I am pushing my close friends away cause I don't want to move on in this world until he is back =( what do I do I can't get my mind of him no matter how hard I truly try:confused: :mad:

First I was going to say I am sorry, but no, I can't, you made a choice to be a girlfriend of a gang member, so this is the life you choose, in most cases over the next 15 years he will serve more than 7 of those in prison. If he lives that long.

Next you have a seroius issue with self worth ( normal for girlfirends of gang members) You need to be able to stand on your own and you need your friends, since you will be alone a lot.

Plus to be honest a lot of other bad things that happen to girlfriends of gang members

I agree. You need to be accepting of the things you choose. This is the life you've chosen. Gangmembers get arrested and go to jail. Since you chose to keep this situation, I'm confused at why you're sad?
If you jump in the lake, what is the point of being sad when wet?
If you slap someone, why get angry when they slap you back?
When you buy a burger, how odd to be surprised it's not soup when you bite into it.
If you're unhappy with the results of what you've chosen, choose something else. To sit around for the next two months acting all sad he's in jail is you just being dishonest. THIS is what you chose, and what you got.

So, how ARE you going to spend the next two months?

And how are you going to spend the next 20 years?
The chances of anything changing unless you initiate the change is is about one in a million.

Why would you want to have a relationship with a gang banger, don't you know they live a crime fill life? You don't feel you deserve bette with a person that don't engage criminal activity? You see what happen to all the fame rappers that lived "street life".

I know you probably have heard this more times than you wanted to, but you need to figure out how to get out of that 'gang' environment, get a better education and a better life.. or just waste the rest of your life continuing to wait for him or any other guy like him to get out of jails... It's your choice, make it.

You might think it impossible to do, but where there is a will, there is a way - so do what you have to do to make something of your life.

Look around you, and see if there are any other choices you can make for your future.. if not - move away from there and try again.

You talked about 'friends' - How about your family? Even a youth center is better than the streets or being all alone.


If you were a mother with a daughter your age, what would you tell her?

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Gang life isn't so glamorous now is it. Looks like you have to take care of yourself now, or get another, just like the other!

I'm concerned about your future if you stay in the relationship but I am equally concerned about what will happen if you try to separate while he is away. You had better get some professional advice on how to make a break. Maybe you need to break it to him slowly after he's back. I don't know what is best but you have to plan it right.

What could possibly possess you to want to bring a baby into this?