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magprob
Jun 1, 2008, 10:45 PM
Do you think that humans and chimps are this closely related? I do. I don't want them living on my block though. I mean, have you ever had a fight with a chimp? Hey, I have and I'm here to tell you, that was the toughest SOB I ever tangled with! Plus, I wouldn't want my daughter dating one. Although, I'm sure they would have really cute babies. You know, that would really take the heat off gay marriages.

Court Claim: Chimps Are People, Too | LiveScience (http://www.livescience.com/animals/080529-chimp-human.html)

Wondergirl
Jun 1, 2008, 10:52 PM
Chimps. Aren't those the little short guys? And did you hear about Spam? It's becoming a hot food item--inexpensive and goes with all sorts of things.

magprob
Jun 2, 2008, 12:08 AM
Yes but, can you teach a chimp to eat Spam? I think so. You just have to trick him. With Spamnana Pudding topped with Nilla Wafers.

tomder55
Jun 2, 2008, 02:59 AM
I wouldn't want my daughter dating one. Although, I'm sure they would have really cute babies. You know, that would really take the heat off gay marriages.

Once you have changed the definition of marriage once then anything is possible.

magprob
Jun 2, 2008, 08:04 AM
Once you have changed the definition of marriage once then anything is possible.

Exactly.

excon
Jun 2, 2008, 08:48 AM
Hello:

Yup, give a gay guy his rights, and next thing is dogs'll be wanting 'em.

I guess you don't know how stupid that sounds... If you did, you wouldn't be saying such stuff. But, you don't. Thank goodness, I'm here to set you straight!!

excon

magprob
Jun 2, 2008, 09:50 AM
Fa·ce·tious / fəˈsēshəs/
• adj. treating serious issues with deliberately inappropriate humor.
DERIVATIVES:
Fa·ce·tious·ly adv.
Fa·ce·tious·ness n.

tomder55
Jun 2, 2008, 09:55 AM
Actually only thirty three states ban sex with animals .Washington being one of the States with no laws restricting it.
The Seattle Times: Local News: Enumclaw-area animal-sex case investigated (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002382718_horse15m.html)

So I'd say practitioners of bestiality have a leg up.

NeedKarma
Jun 2, 2008, 10:00 AM
If they change the definition of marriage to include chimps and gays then my marriage means nothing! No, don't ask me how I logically came to that conclusion - I have faith this will happen.

NeedKarma
Jun 2, 2008, 10:01 AM
so I'd say practitioners of beastiality have a leg up.Well? What are you waiting for?

magprob
Jun 2, 2008, 10:11 AM
A leg up? No, No, No. Wear the big rubber irrigation boots and put their legs down in them.
Hey, I'm a country boy at heart.

tomder55
Jun 2, 2008, 10:56 AM
This has the makings of a number of farm jokes I've heard .

tomder55
Jun 2, 2008, 10:56 AM
This has the makings of a number of farm jokes I've heard .

NeedKarma
Jun 2, 2008, 11:01 AM
this has the makings of a number of farm jokes I've heard .I think that's how most of us feel about this news article. :)

jillianleab
Jun 2, 2008, 12:46 PM
Why doesn't the organization just buy the chimp, instead of fighting this out in court? If I remember correctly, Koko was bought by her handler. If the sanctuary who owns this chimp now is nearly bankrupt, they'll sell in an instant.

Of course, we all know why; if they win this court case they get to argue that ALL animals are people and deserve human rights... it's a political move. I'm in a pessimistic mood today.. I'll go so far to say they don't give a poop-flinging bit about this chimp, only about the possible future political implications.

magprob
Jun 2, 2008, 04:18 PM
This traveling salesman broke down and asked to sleep in the barn...

"That wasn't my daughter" the farmer said, that was the chimp!

Galveston1
Jun 4, 2008, 03:13 PM
I don't often agree with Jill, but this time I think she is right.

speechlesstx
Jun 4, 2008, 03:28 PM
I remember reading about this "person" last year. Your mention of fighting a chimp reminds me of one of Eastwood's less than stellar films, Every Which Way But Loose. I sure wouldn't have wanted to tangle with Clyde the orangutan.

Not exactly a farm joke but...

A woman goes to her local pharmacy to buy some hair remover.

The clerk says to her, "be careful if you go in the sun because this can cause chemical reactions and burn your skin."

The woman says, "Oh I'm not using this on my legs."

So then he says, "Well if you use this under your arms you need to let the hair grow out for a few days."

Once again the woman says, "I'm not using it under my arms."

So the clerk looking very confused asks, "Where are you going to remove hair with this?"

The woman smiles at him and says, "My Schnauzer."

The clerk rings up her purchase and after thanking her whispers, "I wouldn't ride a bike for a few days then."

jillianleab
Jun 5, 2008, 05:45 AM
I don't often agree with Jill, but this time I think she is right.

Um... Thanks?

:)