HI! Just found this and I'm hoping you can help. Rattlebars is my nickname because I ride and quads.

My son and his wife divorced six years ago. My son, though he pays child support, has not seen his son for over six years. He has turned over his parental rights to my wife and I and we get the visitation rights as Grandparents. This is stated in the divorce decree. We see him once a week and every other weekend.

Is my son's action considered abandonment? Is it a crime for which he can serve jail time?

Third question. Is what follows considered child abuse?
The reason we ask is that we have become aware that this little boy of ours is being mentally abused at home. He is often locked in a room with his 3 year old sister. Last time it was for two weeks. That's the worst one, there are many more. Once hit with a hair brush so he saw spots before his eyes. He is not allowed to participate in ANY school events. He is not allowed out of his house unless it's to do yard work. He is not permitted to have any friends, get phone calls, make phone calls (even to us) - PERIOD! He is made to stand in front of his mother and step dad whenever they get the notion and they chide him with disparaging remarks about how worthless, stupid, careless (more) he is. He is not allowed to respond or move at all during this. I have more, but you get the idea?

He is 11. We are afraid to approach any of the authorities on this because we don't want to open the can of worms mentioned above about my son. That is our quandary. We would be happy to take my grandson out of that environment as soon as possible.

Thanks for your help!

Abandonment is a crime in some states for which one can do time in an extreme case; ordinarily, an abandonment warrant is issued for the arrest of a parent who has failed to support a child for 30 days. The law is not interested in incarcerating these folks, just encouraging them to do right. Your son does not fit this category if he is paying support, not you; he must be able to prove he is paying if someone accuses him of abandonment.

The conditions you have described about your grandson are abusive. Your problem is that you will almost never win a contest between you (grandparent) and the mother. As terrible as this may sound, he may be better off in foster care. You should meet with a family (domestic relations) attorney ASAP. At least you can find out the law in your jurisdiction and possibly help your grandson.

Your son has nothing to worry about as long as he has some sort of proof that he has been paying. As for the abuse (which is absolutely, possitively, with out a doubt or second thought abuse) call family and children services first thing in the morning! You already have visitation so because of this you may be awarded custody. However, call them asap inform them of your court ordered visitation and the situation he has at home. You can also petition a judge to give you more visitation or temporary custody especially if child services can back you up on the conditions. They really don't like placing kids in foster care if there are relatives or other close friends that the kid(s) know that they can stay with.