I am 25 yrs. Old, and have been married since I was 18. I became sexually active when I was 14(I know, too young.). I've been with the same person since I was 16. I have had 7 different partners but I have never been able to reach orgasm until the end of last year when I purchased a vibrator. I pretty well have to use it by myself because my husband says it just gets in the way. He makes me so mad though, because after sex, I'll tell him that I didn't have an orgasm and that I'm just going to use my 'toy' and he just kind of shrugs, says OK and walks off. He doesn't care if I have an orgasm with him or not. I don't know what to do. I really want to have an orgasm with him, but I can't without the vibrator and he doesn't want me to use it during sex. Please tell me, help me understand, why can't I have an orgasm and your advice on what to do about my 'toy' and my husband. I don't expect miracles, but some friendly advice would help me. Thanks.

Buy the egg style with a corded remote. It is small and you can put it between you and your husband in the missionary position. No hands required.

Or maybe you should use the vibrator and please yourself first, then engage in sex. Stop just before your husband reaches his orgasm. Tell him he can finish himself, and that you'll be waiting in the next room to talk about it when he's ready.

How about TALKING about sex with your husband? That might work. Then you could BOTH find ways to enjoy sex together.

A vibrator is an excellent tool for a woman who needs to get the feeling and enjoyment of an orgasm... but, it is only a tool, not anything else. It is not a replacement for female passion or a valued sex partner, or higher levels of female sexual bliss, and so on.

I would guess that your current partner doesn't really turn you on. That happens quite frequently. It is a long hard road to respond orgasmically to a husband who doesn't really generate any passion in your mind(I speak from experience).

I think it would be really helpful for you to find a way to associate sexual bliss with something other than a vibrator. I loved erotica to stimulate my fantasies; perhaps, you would like that too... Anais Nin is quite good.

Decorate your bedroom in a very dark and moody way with sexy lighting-put a lock on the door if you have children. Dr. Northrup(appears on Oprah) tells women to have three 30 minute sessions of self-pleasuring each week in order to maintain good health. Take your erotica, sexy lingerie, and work on pleasing yourself without a vibrator. Get your mind abuzzzz with hot sexy thoughts... don't censor them, imagine yourself with men or women doing pleasurable things... it is only fantasy... it is to get you very hot!

After you get it all going, I think you should have a talk with your husband about ratcheting up your sex life. See what he has to say and get back to the board. If he is willing to grow his approach to sex, that is excellent. :)

dear tbp25

It seems your husband does nor give a single f**k about your sexlife, as long as he gets satisfied himself. Rather egoistic, and indicating the wrong values for a true partner.
Talk to him about what you want, how you want, what you need. Most sex problems in a relation are due to lack of (sufficient) communication!
If needed, suggest to jointly visit a sex specialist. If he refuses to go, start a sex strike.
By that time you may already realize that as husband his time is up.
.

OMG I sound just like you...

I started when I was 14 and NEVER cam...

My ex got me this little vib that was the size of my thumb with a cord that went to the control box... it was awesome!

I got with my new guy and he refused to let me use my vib at all.. :(

But now that I have been with him I have started getting a lot more sensitive to his touch and I'm getting REALLY close to cuming with him...

It does suck that I can't use my vib but that would be your fix... look online for a little one like I had it was the best!!

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/can-not-orgasm-without-using-vibrator-219713.html



This is that stuff I got back when I asked this...

I've heard of a "ring" that the male partner puts on that vibrates.

I am 25 yrs. old, and have been married since I was 18. I became sexually active when I was 14(I know, too young.). I've been with the same person since I was 16. I have had 7 different partners but I have never been able to reach orgasm until the end of last year when I purchased a vibrator. I pretty well have to use it by myself because my husband says it just gets in the way. He makes me so mad though, because after sex, I'll tell him that I didn't have an orgasm and that I'm just going to use my 'toy' and he just kinda shrugs, says ok and walks off. He doesn't care if I have an orgasm with him or not. I don't know what to do. I really want to have an orgasm with him, but I can't without the vibrator and he doesn't want me to use it during sex. Please tell me, help me understand, why can't I have an orgasm and your advice on what to do about my 'toy' and my husband. I don't expect miracles, but some friendly advice would help me. Thanks.
Sounds like your husband is hurt that you can't orgasm with him and being so obvious about using the vibrator after sex. Talk to him! Ask him to use his hand if he isn't already, try different positions to get a better angle

I am 25 yrs. old, and have been married since I was 18. I became sexually active when I was 14(I know, too young.). I've been with the same person since I was 16. I have had 7 different partners but I have never been able to reach orgasm until the end of last year when I purchased a vibrator. I pretty well have to use it by myself because my husband says it just gets in the way. He makes me so mad though, because after sex, I'll tell him that I didn't have an orgasm and that I'm just going to use my 'toy' and he just kinda shrugs, says ok and walks off. He doesn't care if I have an orgasm with him or not. I don't know what to do. I really want to have an orgasm with him, but I can't without the vibrator and he doesn't want me to use it during sex. Please tell me, help me understand, why can't I have an orgasm and your advice on what to do about my 'toy' and my husband. I don't expect miracles, but some friendly advice would help me. Thanks.
Good question. My husband recently found out I had a vibrator and left the room too. I thought it would turn him on, but he made feel like he a grossed out. He actually bought me dildo's... but I don't like them. He said later he just didn't want to see me do it.? I'm still wondering myself.

Next time he asks for sex just look at him a say "no im good you go ahead" if he doesn't want you to be satisfied why should you help him be satisfied

I am 25 years old and I have had 9 sexual partners. Never had I experienced an orgasm. I have been with my boyfriend now for 1 1/2 years. He has made me orgasm 3 times, and this was when we were just "seeing" each other, rather than being in a relationship. But since then I think I put too much pressure on myself to orgasm and I can't. Totally unable to orgasm now.
We introduced a clitoral vibrator within the past couple of months and it's amazing. He was a bit apprehensive at first, I think he felt a little embarresed and belittled. I encouraged him to use it on me, which he loved. I have only just recently used it on him, on his nipples and when I give him oral sex. He loves it. He likes watching me do it on my own too. We like doing it in the missionary position and he can feel it too.
I hope you and your partner can talk about it without feeling embarresed. It's so important for you to feel pleasure too. That's what sex is about. Get him involved and show him it's fun and incredibly sexy.
We have found that a cockring is great too. He feels the intense vibrations and you can feel it too.