I got this dress on wed : dELiAs > Megan Dress > apparel > dresses > halter (http://store.delias.com/item.do?categoryID=1769&itemID=49542&sizeFilter=&colorFilter=&brandFilter=)and I want to wear it to church on Sunday my mom thinks that this dress is inappropriate because its sleeveless. Im 5'1 and I'm not a very busty girl the dress comes down past my knees my body type is small so it just looks like a cute halter dress nothing sexy in the least. The dress at the church I go to people wear jeans I have even seen girls and grown women as well wearing tube tops so no one would blink an eyelash at a halter dress so I wouldn't be out of place. In fact shouldn't she be happy that even HAPPILY attend church ? So what do you guys think ?

That's a lot of cleavage for Sunday School. That would have never gotten past my mother.

I don't go to church lets get that out of the way and I even think that church might not be the best place to wear it. Picnic sure, family function no problem, but for church a little to low cut. Let this one go it's not worth fighting with your parents about. Oh and as a guy I do find this dress to be sexy.

Yeah, it would've never gotten past my mother either. The girl in the pic isn't very busty, but it makes her look like a poster child for wannabe victoria's secret models. You could always put a cute white tee under it or something, that's what I normally do if something is too low cut or revealing, try suggesting that to her.

I've worn something similar to church (I'm 27 y.o. and a mom recently!) so for what's that worth! But I wore a little lite white sweater over top! With cap sleeves! If you want to wear it bad enough offer that up! Good Luck and God Bless!

All4Noah, she has a great point. Maybe you could say hey mom, would you mind if I got a little sweater to go over it? I really like this dress and know you would feel better if I wore something over it;)

The dress doesn't come down nearly that low on me though that's what I'm saying I'm short and very little (I wear a size 0 I had to get the xs in that dress) so the dress comes down past my knees unlike the model and the cut isn't that low on me... I could see if I went to a church where everyone dresses really formal but people wear jeans there and my mama won't even let me wear jeans. Its enough to make me not want to go to church at all... we fight every Sunday about what I wear(im a 26 yr old woman) evererything is either too elaborate for church or not dressy enough... I cannot wait until I move out (3 more months yahhhhhh)

Quote : Maybe you could say hey mom, would you mind if I got a little sweater to go over it? I really like this dress and know you would feel better if I wore something over it

That's a good idea thanks mayb shell go for that cannot wait untik I move then I can wear what I see fit to church

What about this dress she hates this one too : dELiAs > Erica Knit Dress > apparel > dresses > halter (http://store.delias.com/item.do?categoryID=1769&itemID=49628&sizeFilter=&colorFilter=&brandFilter=)

Twink, I just check out the site, and if she says no. There are a lot of cute dresses there with sleeves, you may just have to give up and do what she asks... sorry love. How old are you again?

Sorry no, mom is right, not a church dress. And if you have to wear it to church there needs to be a jacket with it.

You don't have to do what everyone else do. I go to church sometime and wear slacks with a nice shirt and I see females in tube tops, but I will never wear it to church and I don't judge because at least their there. Your mom just want you to dress in proper entire likd my mom did. People used to jeans, but I was not allowed to on Sunday, because she felt it wasn't right. I couldn't even wear a halter dress until I was 18 because she thought it was too grown. The worst thing you can do is start a sentence with her by saying"everyone else". Get a sweater or jacket like the person suggested it looks nice, you can buy it separated from the dress. Or a short sleeve cargian that ends at your waist, then show your mom I bets she'll approve.

Well even though you are 26 you still live with mom so have to follow her rules. Coming from a mother of a 24year old who both go to church every week I would say no to this dress too. Even though you say you are XS the "V" neckline of this dress goes all the way down to the empire waist. It's still down to the bottom of your breast area. That's too low. I probably wouldn't even like my daughter to wear this other places either. If you had a jacket or sweater you'd have to keep it buttoned up and so no point in that really. I would say some of the young men would also think it's sexy even if you don't. That could cause them to look at you in ways they shouldn't which isn't good either, it's a temptation to them. You have to be careful about stuff like that and show you respect yourself. I'd return the dress and purchase a more appropriate one. You can't compare yourself to what others wear.

If you are 26, I think you should be able to wear what the heck you want. Saying that, if it were me, I would be respectful of my mother. You wear what you want, we all have different styles. I thought you were like 13 or something...

Quote :That could cause them to look at you in ways they shouldn't which isn't good either, it's a temptation to them. You have to be careful about stuff like that and show you respect yourself. I'd return the dress and purchase a more appropriate one. You can't compare yourself to what others wear.

The problem is the difference of opinon I don't see the dress as inappropriate she does... and as far as what everyone else does I really don't care I was using what other people wore as an example of how casual my church is as in saying I would not be out of place by wearing this dress... and trust me no matter what a woman wears men will lust after her if they see fit that is not up to me to keep them from lusting its up to them. Yes I live in her house but I am the one who bought the dress... I just feel I'm a little too old to be told what's appeopriate vs what's not. I wouldn't go to church in daisy dukes but I really don't see what the big deal with the dress is. Like I said its not just this dress its anything I put on to wear to church. Once I had a button up shirt and nice dress kakhis and she said it looked too casual.

Twinkie, I almost feel as if you are trying to bring out a different issue. One maybe that you have with your mother and it goes a little deeper than this dress. Wear the dress if you want to. If you are worried about how your mom will feel, then put something over it.;)
I think you are old enough to make these decisions!

Yes we do have issues that go deeper such as her not acknowledging that I'm not her baby anymore and I'm more than capable of making decent descisons... but I digress... I try to respect her because I am in her house but some things that she tries to control are insane who tries to instruct their 20 something daughter on what to wear. If I don't know by now what to wear when then ill never know:(

Twinklet, why are you still living with your mother?

I am in my 30's and my mother would still tell me that dress isn't appropriate for church... although we don't go ;) When I did go, I was taught to dress well for the occasion. Don't get me wrong, it's a cute dress and all... but more for going to the park, beach, club, casual social event.

I know absolutely nothing about female fashion but I know that my church and many others have started contemporary services over the past several years and the dress of the attendees goes from a to z. I have adapted to and attend the contemporary services but it still bothers me to see someone dressed in a way that it is obvious they want to become the focus of attention but we all know the focus in church should be on God. But it is a matter of taste and opinion and I can tell you that you would be welcomed in my churches past and present.
But you have to have respect for your mother's opinion at any age. So I think you shoud abide by her request. You are a reflection on her and you owe her that.
But you are a free human being. If you are unhappy with your mother's recommendations, go to another service or another church.

I agree, if she feels there will be a problem, then she should cover up in respect to her mother. I think this whole thing goes much deeper than a dress like she said though. It was just a good OPENING topic to bring up in lieu of that. Twinklet, if there are things you would like to express, you can doit here.;)

Quote : Twinklet, why are you still living with your mother?

Just Graduated (transfering from one school to another was a BADDD idea lol) so I'm looking for a job so hopefully ill be moved out in 6 months after I find a job yahhh... trust me if I could move today I would... shes way too controlling do you know I wasn't allowed to wear tampons when I started my period because she thought I might start having sex.The only reason I wanted to wear tampons was because they were easier to dispose ofI also wasn't allowed to take swimming lesson because she swore up and down the people at the rec center would drown me because I was blk I never learned swim... but hopefully 6 more months and I can move away.

Oh goodness Twinklet... I hope you work extra hard to move on your own. This is not good for you

(I just can't get your name right can I... I apologize);)

I also was not allowed to join spanish club in 9th grade because she said I was just using it as a way to meet up w/my boyfriend and have sex (I was a 15 yrs old and considered a "nerd" I had no bf) I just wanted to join spanish club because at the end of the yr you get to ride a float... and just now my good friend abby is in town for one night and wanted to go out to eat. I out of repsect for my mama (like you good folks say I shuld do) I asked her if she minded if I went out with her and she said no because they may have drugs in the car(nevermind none of my friends do drugs she just doesn't like my friends because they are white she has no problem when its my black friends I want to go out with just the white ones because she says that blk and white people can't be friends because white folks will always think they are better than me and like I said we go to church) so did I disrespect her and leave anyway nope I stayed home so I am here miserable and hoping the department of labor calls soon.

How was the time that you weren't living with her? If you are living in her house, you both should have started this with some ground rules, like mom if I move in here, I need some privacy, daughter if you move in here, I need you not to wear that dress... Like that, you guys should sit down and talk about things, I tell you one thing, if my mother was like that, I would be gone before she could blink. Get a roommate, work two jobs. I did that and struggled just so I could be on my own. I finally caught up with everything and it worked. I am not telling you to leave right away, but 6 months is a while to be able to move out!

Like others have said maybe you could find a nice white cardigan like so:
dELiAs > Tracy Cardigan Sweater > apparel > sweaters (http://store.delias.com/item.do?categoryID=458&itemID=49325&sizeFilter=&colorFilter=&brandFilter=#) but wow I feel for you having to live at home right now...
*Best Wishes*

When I stayed on campus it was great I was free to do what I wanted and didn't have any one breathing down my neck. I didn't get into any trouble while I lived on campus I drank but in moderation and I kept up with my grades and was successful but she still doesn't trust me... she once called me at 6 in the morning to yell at me because she found out I smoked cigarretts (after having bronchitis I've learned to quit)6 monhs is about how long its going to take to get a job, buy a car(im carless and live in rural ga no public transportation),get a roomie,and GET A LIFE lol

Seriously, your mother is far too involved in your life. I would even go as far as too say this will never end unless you put an end to it. You will have to go through 6 months of BS and as far as I am concerned, that is way to long. On the other hand, it is her house, so... you are stuck unless you decide to get two or even three jobs to get out of there quicker! I suppose it is up to you!;)

I'm prayin the labor dept calls soon they say theyd call w/in two weeks and I'm hoping a friend of mine may be able to get me a job with her as a secretary... start over you think those stories were incredible those were the tame ones don't get me started on how she she made me break up with my very first boyfriend (I was 14)bc he was white and I was blk. She said because she taught in the town where I went to school her boss would fire her because they wouldn't approve of my relationship with a "white boy"... or when I first started my period I was highly irregular and one month I missed my period she made me take a pregnancy test (I was 10 yrs old) I barely knew anything about sex I didn't even know how you had sex... lets just say recalling it still makes me want to cry. I was a scared 10 yr old peeing on stick while my mama yelled at me about being pregnant.THEN when she couldn't read the first test she made me go with her to the store to get another test... of course the results were I wasn't pregnant she apologized(yrs later) but its horribe to do a child like that especially one that was as young as me at the time

I agree... I think it is all terrible, and I would be gone. Don't you have a friend or anyone to be room mates with or something? I wouldn't be waiting on anyone to get me a job, I would be gone to search every day and getting the heck out of there. I suppose its easier said than done, and I do understand. I would just do everything possible to get the heck out. Go babysit during the day in town, or go to the local store, see if they need help, I don't know, I would just get out of there;)
You are welcome to share your stories here, just know that. And remember that venting is a good thing, if you end up needing to stay that full 6 months you are going to need to vent. BUT, if you don't work very hard to get out of your situation, then no one is really going to want to sit here and hear you complain. I think you need to work really hard on getting two jobs!

I am sorry to say this about your mom she sounds like my grandmother and she was a mess. She too makes a big deal that I go out with a white guy, I'm black, and think the worst, I mean horrible stuff.I realize it because the era she grew in and lack of education. She was and still is controlly and I just limited my time with her in person and on the phone.

Once you get a job, claim the job and it your. You going get a job to get a place and get out of the wings of your mother. What state do you live in and sorry for all the unnecessary things your mind put you through. I use to thing my grandma was bipolar.

Twinkle, she sounds too much like my grandmother too, lol... she's a bit hyper-religious, paranoid and to be very blunt I think she's (my gram) crazy...
The sad thing is that they don't know how much their controlling behavior pushes the people they're trying to protect (if that's what they call it) away...
I hope everything falls into place for you. Maybe then you can have a honest discussion about her boundaries with you because you are an adult now and all of her rules do not apply to you anymore. And when you do leave don't allow her to still have control, if she calls you at 6 in the morning don't answer, let her leave a voice mail... if it's an emergency call her back if not don't even feed into the nonsense!

WHY would you want to wear it to church? What would be the point?

I vote no. Or, like the others said, wear a sweater and don't take the sweater off until you get home again!

Wondergirl I want to wear it because it's a nice cool dress to wear in a hot poorly air conditioned church and because to me it's a cute dress that's not inappropriate in the least I guess the point would be I am a 26 yr old and should be allowed to decide what I put on my person especially since I bought it (with what little money I got left over from financial aid all 100 dollars whoop whoop). Don't get me wrong I love my mama and I know she loves me but its just hard because she's so controlling... she not only controls me but she controls my stepdad as well... do you know she reprimanded him for listening to secular while she's in the car with him lol. She once tried to choke me for "venting"when I was at home for the summer to my then boyfriend when I was 21 about how she ruined the family vacation to disney world because she spent most of it yelling at my stepdad because he filmed female dancers in the park during a street performance because she says he was lusting after them.I don't know if he was are not but she should have waited until later to yell (at least until I wasn't in the room) she brought me into it asking me did I see him lusting. She said I was spreading their business and that my boyfriend would care enough about them to tell everyone he knew(like they would care enough) about her yelling at my stepdad

I feel your pain, Twinkle, but you do live in their house right now and they are your parents.

I know this will bore you to death, but I'm someone who grew up in the Dark Ages before ac was thought of beyond movie theaters, so we girls and women wore rubberized girdles and hot nylons with seams and churchy dresses made of nylon. We were, like, wrapped in Saran Wrap. And during church we used little paper fans (donated by the local funeral home). Oh, yeah. This was in North Carolina. In the summer.

So you see, I do understand your need to be cool. But please reread my first sentence. When you're on your own, you can dress as you wish.

I hate to sound cliché but "when i have kids" I hope I would not be trying to instruct my 26 yr old adult child how to dress of course I'm probably going to be a pretty liberal parent as a result of how I was raised so strict... two last venting stories lol : when I was 18 she found out that I (with money from my summer job no less) bought a vibrator because she was rummaging through my room(she did and still does this) and found it and threw it away saying "the lord revealed to her that i was sticking foreign objects in me and this was sinful" I just went out and bought another one and still have it I may get another one just because I know she doesn't approve lol... heres the last one my first college I attended was a two year so it was easier to just commute so I lived at home. Well when I was 22 I went to a halloween party (I was only allowed to go because my mom said she said she wanted me to see how sinful parties r) so I went and when the party was over I called her to tell her I was coming home but I was going to be a little late because of a police road block(they were stopping people to catch drunk drivers) well I arrived at 100am(note I was 22 or 23 at the time and I had called a million times to let her know I was ok) she was there waiting and she asked me how did I like the party and I told her it was fun. She flipped out screaming saying that if I wanted to party I needed to live on campus(note this was the only party I had ever been to up until then) and she spent the rest of that weekend making remarks about how I was a party animal and would look at me and roll her eyes... all this after she said I could go she was just mad because I had fun at a halloween party.

im prolly gonna be a pretty liberal parent as a result of how i was raised

I'll match you story for story. My parents didn't believe in dancing--Satan was waiting for teens and young adults to become inflamed with passion--so I was never allowed to attend one high school dance. Not one. I couldn't wait to go off to college, which I did when I was still 17. I thought I had it all figured out. Beep! Wrong!

I'll check back with you when your daughters are approaching their teens. I'm betting you will not be a liberal parent. I thought that same way too when I was your age.

Quote: Satan was waiting for teens and young adults to become inflamed with passion

LOL that is a new one.. my grandma never allowed my mama to play cards she said playing cards no matter if it was go fish or war cards were sinful

I mean liberal as in I'm not going to go nuts if my 14 yr old wants to meet her friends at the movie theater to see a movie or if my 18 yr old daughter has a vibrator I won't throw it away especially if she bought it w/her own money lol

i mean liberal as in im not gonna go nuts if my 14 yr old wants to meet her friends at the movie theater to see a movie or if my 18 yr old daughter has a vibrator i wont throw it away especially if she bought it w/her own money lol

I can't wait! Be sure to post here when these things happen.

I hate to sound cliche but "when i have kids" i hope i would not be trying to instruct my 26 yr old adult child how to dress of course im prolly gonna be a pretty liberal parent as a result of how i was raised so strict....

I encourage you to be a liberal parent be responsible of course but there's nothing wrong with taking the mistakes your mom made and continues to make with you and use them as motivation to do and be better...

Like I said earlier my gram sounds a lot like your mother and did some pretty insane things to my mother and her siblings from mental terror to physical abuse... my mom said she'd never be like her mother, in some ways she is but for the most part she is very liberal and most of my friends envied me for this and loved my mom for this...

So, being a liberal parent is possible... teach your children right from wrong, responsibility, accountability, and love and they'll not only be closer to you but be better prepared for real life!

Now my mom didn't give me alcohol or do anything nutty like that but we talked about my curfew and agreed upon a time, she didn't look over my shoulder when I had responsibilities so I learned how to make the best choices myself, I think my siblings and I benefited greatly from this style of parenting...