I have two beautiful daughters who are roommates at college. One works, one doesn't. The one who doesn't work is disrespectful, is dating a guy we don't like (he's lazy and spoiled too), and she has turned into a person I don't even know or recognize. I'm heartsick. We (the three of us) have always been close and had a wonderful time together. Now they argue all the time, and I get phone calls and messages "telling" on each other.

I feel like I'm losing my daughter, and I don't know what to do. Will this pass? How can I force her to get a job, be responsible, and be respectful to her sister and me? How do you cut off the money supply without causing permanent rift?

Help.

First they don't need to be roommates at college, cut the cords and let them make new friends and develop by thierself. Not fair to either one.
Next when they start telling on the other, stop them or hang up, tell them you will not be listening to it any more. They call because you listen.

You don't force anyone to do anything, if you are paying for her to be lazy and not do anything, not her fault if she would rather not do anything,
If you are paying for her college, pay for college and basics, not for a cell phone not for TV for eating out, if she wants all of that, she can earn it.