I know this has been asked over a million times here, but I can't help myself but to ask. Will she come back to me? It's been 4 days since she said to give her time and space alone. And she said she's afraid of me whenever she sees me now, and kept telling me to just give her time, and she will call me when she's ready. But she also said there's no way that we can be bg/gf again. But she said she will call me when she's ready. I guess I was too controlling, but I just can't help it when I see her goes out with other guys.

I haven't contacted her today, but the day before I been bothering her telling her how much I need her. But she said Im not giving her time and I'm focing her. Next month the 15th it was suppose to be our 3 years anniversary. I know the chance of her coming back to me is not high. But what do you guys think? I'm going through the same stage a lot of you guys had gone through. I can't help myself, I want to call her I want to see her. But I didn't, at least not today.

Also another thing that concerns me is, there's this guy that's a good friend of her and her brother. These couple of days when I drove by her house I would see his car parked in her drive way. And my heart is tearing apart as I see that. Thinking she will fall for that guy. But a friend is telling me that guy is going to Florida next month and probably won't come back. I'm so lost I don't know if I can believe that.

Give me some ideas here guys please. I'm so lost, I know its my fault to begin with but I really want her back.

She also told me that her love for me never changed. But she just don't know how to face me anymore. Would giving her time and space as she asked for the best thing to do? Cause I really afraid some guy will enter her life right now. Especially the guy that goes to her house every day.

Hi have you sat down and talked about the relationship. Has she said why you have spilt up. If you are controlling then it could play a very part in this. You could give her space talk like friends and try not to be to hard. Why is she afraid when she sees you?

For some reason she thinks ill hurt her. But I would never do that, I never did it. And no she told me to give her time and space. She don't want to talk to me or see me. She shuts her phone. All she said was to give her time and when she's ready she will call me, but she don't know when. People told me if she care about the anniversary date. She will probably call you that day. And yes she care about that day so much. Always ask me do you remember what we did last year and the year before. I just want her back so much.

Stick a fork in it, this relationship is done, and she is enjoying her freedom, and you need to stop stalking, and spying, and get your own life in order.

And there's no way to save this relationship?

If this guy is only a friend what are you afraid of. She may talking about you. I don't think she would want to go straight into another relationship. Leave her for a while don't phone then in a couple of days phone her and just ask her how she is. Don't mention the relationship and see if she mentions it. Does that make sense?

If you have never hurt her then I agree with talaiman a little. She is making excuses for her not to give you the answers you want. She keeping you dangling in case she changes her mind. I still think you should give her space to work out what she wants. Just try and get on with what you want to do, it will save some heart ache you are going through.

But she told me not to call her at all, not until she's ready, if not I'm just not giving her time. Some people told me just do what she ask for to show her that I respect her decisios.

I'm even thinking on the anniversary date get the rare flowers that she liked and show up in her house to talk about my feelings for her. But some say it's a bad thing to do

I'm sorry mate I think that too. She is completely shutting you out for some reason. Why should you wait for her to call you. A relationship is a two people together not one waiting by the phone that might never ring. Get on with your life, I know it will be extremely hard but in the end you will realise it was the only thing you could have done. SORRY

Well I guess what's done is done, I will give her time to be ready. In the mean time I should move on with me life. Its going to be hard. But ill try

That's all you could do. Good luck and try to be happy in what ever you do.

If a female had told me that (one has) I would disappear from her life, and never look back. Even if she called, I wouldn't take her back, I wouldn't even talk to her, because ain't that much love in the whole freakin' world, to kiss the butt of someone who treated me that way. Got it!! Save that money for the flowers and buy yourself a concert ticket.

Look man. I am going to have to agree with Taliman. Things do happen for a reason. If she just broke up with you out of no where saying, "im afraid your going to hurt me" sometimes that means, "i screwed up and im afraid of hurting you." I could be completely wrong as to I don't know your relationship to well besides the info you have given us.

Yes, I think you need to give her her space. This will solve a couple of things. 1) You will start moving on and she will never call, and it won't effect you as much 2.) She will be totally blown away that you aren't trying to contact her and she will come crawling back (but don't expect it! Doesn't happen that way).

When someone says they want their space, give it to them. Would you want someone bugging you constantly when you needed to think? Ya, when you are overcome with love you think, "yea i would actually like that they are showing they want to be with me." NO! No one likes someone that is making them feel uncomfortable.

IF you don't hear anything by your anniversery. They you can drop her by some cards and some flowers... don't expect anything in return, or even a call. I would drop them at the door and do the whole "ring and ditch rutine" Just to show that you remembered. That's all. If you don't hear anything, then be done with it.

I have been with a girl like this before, they want to have their cake and eat it. She may want to start something with this guy, I don't know better to assume the worst. But who cares? She left you, you did nothing wrong. It is OK to be jealous of her. Usually when your brain is telling you something like that, its cause your right... something is not going right. Listen to yourself. She may call you over-protective/controlling but something is telling you to do that... she is acting different.

Good things.

Only if I can get over it so easily

READ THIS ASAP:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-break-up-survive-101-use-you-wish-114179.html

Never chase a woman that truly wants space...

Never.

Ever.

Ever.

Never.

Ever.

Its hard man. But you need to step up and accept it. You need to have some positive attitude otherwise... no... you won't get over it

Neko, I know were you are coming from, I am on my 3 day of NC, I would go by her house and figure out he was over there a lot. Trust me man, it isn't worth it. Find something to do, call up some of you home girls and just chat. Go see a movie, do anything you can to get your mind off it. And if you are really set on the flowers thing, do what fixer said. That would probably blow her mind. But if she calls don't answer, if she text don't reply. Expect to get nothing, because if she does call you and can't get in contact with you, it will A. Drive her nuts, and she will realize W T F DID SHE JUST DO, ( RARE ) or B. Mean nothing to her and she will go on with her life, like it never happened. Hang in there dude you in that early stage like I am just moving a lot faster than I thought I would. I ,and We are here for you.

Well her close friends told me she still loves me, but she just need time alone herself, and told me to leave her alone and she will come back to me. Only if that's true

Did you read the link I cut and pasted for you?

Don't set you mind on her coming back. What would you do if she started falling in love with some other guy? Look at it as your bettering yourself time, and expect the worst so it won't hurt as much if it does happen. Man I know how you feel, trust me I do. Remove yourself from her life. Don't stay in contact with her friends. ( I would date one of them... j/k ) it's hard I know. Just check out my post. We are all here for you. And if you feel like breaking NC, hop yo azz right on this site and type away.

Well I got a business trip to get to this Friday, won't come back till the 10th. At least during this time I won't call her.

Yes I read the link

I want you to talk to as many females as you could possibly talk to, not to get with them, or to get there number or anything, just to get to know them. Then you will she how many girls are out there, that are just like you, or even made to your liking.

Hopefully I can open my minds up, not these couple of days but ill try

Well, if you are going to call her after the 10th you did not read it very carefully...

If she loves you, she will find a way to communicate or cross paths...

It's not uncommon for people to take a break.

So, honor her request or you'll only make it worse while she's alone.

K I won't call what about that flower thing? Should I drop it off?

Yes, and scadadle. NC WHAT SO EVER.

It's hard man. You need to do what you feel is right. But you need to realize your feelings of what is "right" is no longer the right thing anymore. Make sense?

When we do things that we think are right... they really aren't. (at least in the state you are in). We have all been there... honestly think about that... Who knows this may end up coming to an end cause something better is coming along and you needed to learn something for the next relationship.

If what you had was any good, it wouldn't have ended. Why go back to anything less?

If she asked some space and time from you then try to give her that much space and time. That person is her good friend so he is by her side as she is going through the trauma of separation. Just keep patience and send her some cards and flowers on your anniversary. Sneak a kiss day (http://www.123greetings.com/events/sneak_a_kiss_day/) will be celebrated on June 15th this year. In the meanwhile she will be able to decide on what she wants. If love is true from both side then distance will make love grow more.

I just found out today that she sent the guy of what I said on Monday, is that normal? Is it because she needs someone to talk to her? Or is she asking that guy should I go back to this guy?

Im confused, she sent? Like she gave him the boot?

No I was talking to her on msn Monday night telling her we can fix this together, basically bothered the hell out of her. And she saved the message log and send it over to that guy in email. So that guy knows what I message her about.

DUDE, NO CONTACT. You should noy know what she is doing. If she was to fall and break a leg, ( GOD FORBID ) you shouldn't know about it as soon as it happens. Don't talk to your spy anymore, what so ever.

I'm just afraid that guy will tell her not to come back to me.

And if he does, it her decision. I want you to call up one of your home girls right now and start a conversation with them. And don't keep talking about your girl, but tell them how you feel right now.

Flowers? NO

Cards? NO

Drop-Bys? NO

I hope a short story will help. I was dating a woman who was by all accounts a knock out. She was fawned on by both men and women... At some point she decided that our relationship was too much pressure. I was shocked and upset. I wanted to explain that I could be more like she wanted etc... It was not easy, but I fought the pursuit instinct in me, and I stayed away and skipped both Valentines Day and her birthday... no cards. "no nothing".

Well, I ran into her at the bookstore a few months later and she just cried and said she had been a bit-- and she deserved that treatment... We actually dated for a long time after that.

Dude, your ex knows right from wrong. You only drop your stock by trying to be a White Knight when you've been cast out of the kingdom. Ride on for now. Let her be. Let your head clear. Your hormones are raging and your mind is racing.

It sucks, but try distract yourself for a while and survive.

I am somewhat going through what you are going through at the moment. She's visiting a friend up north for a week and says she wants her space and will contact me when she's ready. I attempting contacting her the day and that's when she dawned on me the "when im ready" message. I wasn't too happy with it as I didn't think it was a good idea in the first place letting her go up there. However, I respected her decision and let her go so I am in the position that I am in now.

Having her away has in fact allowed me to clear my mind as well and let me look at our relationship... this is something that could help you out Limeneko.

It has helped me figure that if she comes back from her little vacation and wants out... then so be it...

Especially after asking her before she left if this is a problem that her and I can fix, and she tells me that she doesn't know...

Remember that if something is worth it, its worth fighting for, it's worth the effort put forth in order to fix things.

-Sik

Well nothing I can control now. All I can do is wait. Business trip is tomorrow. I guess ill take some break and go around.

There you go.

I'd say that you have good reason to be suspicious of the other guy and I wouldn't be surprised if she is getting close with him.

What you should do is completely sack her and move on, when girls say things like 'give me time' and all that rubbish it basically means you are dead in the water, what she is doing is trying her luck with the other guy and keeping you dangling in case she needs something to fall back on, however that's only if she can get over her guilt from cheating on you which is why she is saying its unlikely you ever be bf/gf again.

She doesn't value you and is showing you no respect so move on mate and find someone that actually wants to be with you and treats you well, and also do what I did and promise to stick to the golden rule, 'only give them one chance!! ' if they give you cause for concern and effect you so much that you have resorted to help forums you need to sack them, trust your gut instinct! It is a natural warning system and is rarely wrong, if they lie to you or betray you once they are not trust worthy and will do it again!

Guttedone is right, I have given someone a second chance and for some people it may work out but for me it sure didn't. It ate at me for the months that her and I were together before I finally said NO MORE! The break up was smooth and she understood but you don't want to waste your time not knowing if you are happy or not with someone.
The answer of being happy or not with someone should be instantaneous and never "well im happy sometimes".

Anyway, you need to enjoy your trip, you've got things to do, people to meet, places to go, etc.
Don't let your feelings for this girl long gone get in the way of making new beginnings.

-Sik

Hope she's not just saying that to think of me as a back up, almost 3 years and I love her so much.

hope shes not just saying that to think of me as a back up, almost 3 years and i love her so much.
She doesn't love you though, now what? Oh right, if she would just let you run your lame a$$ rap from your heart, she would see the error of her ways and go back to her goody bar.
Man up, you can cry later, you have a life to get together.

hope shes not just saying that to think of me as a back up, almost 3 years and i love her so much.

She could be dipping her feet in some water that's new to her regardless of what she does you need to worry about yourself.
And don't think of it as being selfish. There is a difference between being selfish and looking after yourself.

Just do what you have to do like tal said.

I agree with what most of them has said, I think you need this business trip more than ever, as he will clear you mind of what she is doing. I really do think she is moving on. I leaving you behind. I feel really sorry for you mate because you love her so much and she is giving no signs of it back. Don't get in touch with her let her come to you.

Well if she's really moving on with some other guy then there's nothing I can do. But I probably won't get into any relationship for a good while.

well if shes really moving on with some other guy then theres nothing i can do. but i probably wont get into any relationship for a good while. that's what you think, that special someone is on her way as we speak. Remember that.

Don't worry about if she is moving on or not.. worry about you... Right now she is not with you, so start living your life and stop worrying about hers.. Its going to be hard but like u said, there's nothing you can do to make her change her mind...

And about not getting into any relationship for a while that's find.. Take some time for yourself and enjoy your new life... When you feel ready, you can try dating again... Its time to take care of you!!

Wow I'm going furious now. She blocked me on msn and aim, and yet she's talking to that guy. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

You may not realize it yet, but this is a GOOD THING!! She is doing this so it can save herself pain, and you pain. You may think it sucks right now... but you need to realize that this is going to help you way much more! You won't have to talk to her or look for her being online.

Honestly you need to accept things. If she wants to talk to you, she will talk to you. If she wants to be with you, she will be with you. Just don't waste time waiting anymore.

I know how you feel. Mine went one further and just changed her aim altogether. Its her fault, she broke up with me, I turned into a really nice guy in touch with feelings and emotions, sent her broken heart emails and correspondence, I'm blamed for everything, she trashed my pride and dignity then yeah -disconnected completely from us with IM. So screwed!! But I agree its better than watching her logging in and out all day... :(

Like everyone says this is a great thing... It sux right now but it'll be better later on... this girl has made it more than clear that she doesn't want to be with you.. She is blocking you from her life completely, please stop wasting your time and energy on this girl... move on & leave her alone!!

Guys, guys, guys - stop beating yourselves up.

As soon as your libido and your hormones calm down you will see how lucky you are.

Do you want girls that are a total mess in your life? Well, yes, right now you do! :-)
You ( and your pen-- )want back in now! I know...

Well, Nutty chicks do not need to stay on our di---.
Those girls are not for long relationships.

A favor has been done to you. Go to Hallmark and write them thank you notes if you want!
You are free and can find a girl who will turn you on and let you be yourself!

Rent some movies ASAP and see what laughter and endorphins are again.
And cut those IM's, texts, emails... etc.

GREAT BREAK UP MOVIES

Swingers (the perfect guy's break up movie)
Raising Arizona (a comedy that is smart and nuts)
Wedding Crashers (a comedy for buddies that is not totally crazy but is fun)
Old School (a comedy about old guys trying to be where you are.. again)
American Pie (fun fun fun)
National Lampoon's Vacation (absurd road trip comedy)
40 year old Virgin (hey, you think you have troubles? )
A Fish called Wanda (smart and funny with a little drama)
The Departed (guns and drama - not a comedy but a good escape when you are ready)

CLASSICS:

Monty Python's Meaning of Life and Holy Grail (Smart comedy and crazy history)
CaddyShack (golf club classic)
Terminator II (action film worth watching)
Risky Business (Tom Cruise when he was normal)
Sixteen Candles (High School is funny)
Ferris Beuller's Day Off (High school is funny again)
Fast Times at Ridgemont HIgh (High School is funny again... )

That's a start... Anyone can add to the list that wants to:

Take your brain to a new place!

This is your first step...