Please help this has happened three times to us in the last few months. Friend or coworker calls up on the phone to share the news that they have gotten married. Great, OK, but in one guy's case I didn't even know he was engaged until after he called. Are they somehow trying to get wedding gifts from us? I always thought a gift was what you sent if you went (were invited) to the wedding or to the reception, it's not like high school graduation where you tell everyone you know so they send you stuff? Or am I old fashioned? My wife thinks they are just calling everyone they know to use up rollover cell phone minutes.

Your wife's theory is cute. I do not know if they are sending out hints for presents or just telling people out of happiness. I would not rush out and buy a present for these reasons: You were not invited to what ever type of wedding and it seems that they did not even have a reception or shower before hand. What I would do is buy a simple card to congratulate them, do not put money in it!! This way you are wishing them well and going out of your way to send a card to them despite the fact you knew nothing of their weddings to start with. By sending a card you look good and they will get the hint if they were looking for gifts. This is just my opinion hope it helps.

You are in no way obligated to send a wedding gift if you are not invited to the wedding, but as mentioned above, a congratulation card is in order.

Do you guys think it's some passive-agressive thing, like, we didn't invite you to our wedding! Nyaa nyaa ha ha? We barely know some of these people.

No I really don't, I either think it is just to let everyone know of there happiness or maybe they did not get everything they wanted as presents and are hoping someone will send them more gifts, so they don't have to actually buy it themselves. Just send a card and don't worry about it. You are probably not the only ones they have done this to.

I don't think they wanted gifts they just wanted to share the happy news

Yes, were calling everyone to let them know the great news,

They wouldn't be passive aggressive about sharing the news. They're happy and screaming it from the roof tops! (so to speak)

Send nothing more than a card... if you like... but nothing is required. Even as a guest, a gift is not "required."

Well I've read everyone's advice and I must say I'm looking at this in the wrong light. Since they are now officially a married couple we can start inviting them over or to events that we share with other married couples. So they are just telling us they have "joined the club". I don't mean to sound stingy. Certainly we have closets full of stuff brand new we've never used that we could regift in an emergency. But don't want to set a precedent that way and have a bunch come looking for a handout.

Yeah they prbably are just you know bragging (for lack of a better word) sayong (buya wer'r married!) just be happy for them

Be happy for them as Sonador said and invite them into your married group.

Me personally I would just take it as they consider me friends/aquaintance enough to share in their good fortune without expecting anything from me other than congratulations.

For instance my son just graduated high school and with a very high accomplishment.( full tution scholarship)I did not invite everyone to the graduation... mainly because I did not want anyone to feel obligated to attend or to send a gift.
However I did make a few of phone calls and wrote a few announcements making people aware of his good fortune.
This may have been to former neighbors, his doctors, people he mows grass for, friends of mine and relatives etc... not anyone that would be interested in attending ( or may not be able to attend because of distance) or giving him a gift, but people that are somewhat involved in his life, that would be pleased for him.

I for one like to hear happy news.