Terrachka
May 28, 2008, 05:40 AM
Two years ago, I met a Russian guy. Very sexy, tall dark and handsome. Well, lets just say I wasn’t a perfect person back then. I was 19, and stripping, doing drugs, the whole shebang. (he didn’t know about the drugs) Well, the roommate I was living with left me high and dry, with house by myself. It just wasn’t a good situation. He decided to take me in. (let me live with him) That’s when I let him know about the drugs. The worst part was, is he couldn’t really understand because he had never done a drug in his life, but the good news is he helped me get clean.
Well, we eventually started getting hot in heavy. I wanted to build a relationship with him, and he never wanted a relationship, but he never liked the idea of me seeing someone else. I lived with him for almost 6 months, and he never tried. I always ask but he pretty much was kind of shut down. Finally while he was at work one day, I packed my bags, and moved in with another friend. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was so hurt, and never understood why I was there. Why he wanted me there. Maybe for pity, I don’t know. We talk a couple more times on the phone, but after that we had never seen, or talk to each other again.
Two years go by, and I get a friends request from this guy on Myspace. It was him. The guy I hadn’t talk to for so long, but still felt for so much. We talk on and off on Myspace for about 3 months, and finally we hung out for the first time. After that we started hanging out more, and more. I worked nights, and he gets up early for work, and I’d get text messages from him. Very sweet text messages I might add.
Things seem to be going great. The connection is there, but he seemed so stand-offish . We hung out, a lot when we could. And when we do hang out its always, always been fun. He’s done surprises for me, and he spent around $200 dollars on me for my birthday. Because of his work schedule he works 12 hour shifts, and we only hang out at the end of the week. But he gets Wednesdays on, and Wednesdays off. So he’ll have a four to three day weekend. The sad part is, is he lives right down the street from me. I feel that if you really like someone, and live right down the road form them, you’d maybe pop in, and say hi. But then that’s me, other people are different. But when we are together its always fun. There was a time we laid in bed for almost 5 hours, and just laughed. I had never done that with anyone before. When I’ve asked for my friends advice, they say, that one minute I am happy with him, and the next, I never know what the hecks going on. Its so back in forth.
He is also just like he was two years ago. Doesn’t want a relationship. He also told me why he never dated me two years ago. Apparently when I went and hung out with one of my girl friends one night, he looked at my phone, and seen text messages to my ex-boyfriend. He finally told me this after two years. The messages were getting back at my ex for cheating on me earlier that year. I wanted make him feel like . So I was trying to lead him on, and the Russian took it the wrong way, which he had every right to do so. So now he tells me he had trust issues. Not so bad anymore. I think realizes that I was younger, and dumber then. But he doesn’t know that I would have given him the world then, and I would give him the world now. I feel as if he’s my first love. Someone I have never technically dated sadly enough. But in the end trying to get back at my ex-boyfriend, bit me in the .
About a week ago, we were texting each other on the phone, and I asked what he was up to. He said, “Picking a friend up from the airport, and talking to a Air Line rep.” He told me why he was talking to the airline rep. but he never told me about his friend. I didn’t ask many questions about it, until I seen him two days later. I casually asked, “Who you pick up from the airport?” He said, “I told you a friend.” I shrugged it off as much as I could, and ignored it, Well, that night we got into a pretty deep conversation. I asked, “Why are we here?” I was pretty much asking him are we wasting our time? He said, “ Look, I understand that you want a relationship, and we can have a relationship right now if you want, but it won’t last, because I am not ready. And I know you are asking for security, but I cannot tell you when we will be together.” We have perfectly agreed that we are friends right now, and we do have feelings for each other, and we shouldn’t hid those feelings. But do I sit around and wait? He said something to me like this before, “I will know when your ready.” (for a relationship that is) Am I just feeling like this because of our past, and I am afraid that I will get hurt? Our past wasn’t all that good. He wasn’t very nice to me then, and today, when we’re together, He so sweet. Also since last week, he’s been avoiding my calls a little bit, and my text messages. He’s been acting kind of weird since that conversation we had. Also, during the conversation he told me, that he’s thinking that I might not be able to handle it what we are doing now. I just think that if there is a chance I am ready, and if there isn’t, well I want to avoid getting hurt, and wasting my time?
For those of you giving me advice thanks bunches…
PS
I am sure your are wondering
His age. He’s 24
Well, we eventually started getting hot in heavy. I wanted to build a relationship with him, and he never wanted a relationship, but he never liked the idea of me seeing someone else. I lived with him for almost 6 months, and he never tried. I always ask but he pretty much was kind of shut down. Finally while he was at work one day, I packed my bags, and moved in with another friend. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was so hurt, and never understood why I was there. Why he wanted me there. Maybe for pity, I don’t know. We talk a couple more times on the phone, but after that we had never seen, or talk to each other again.
Two years go by, and I get a friends request from this guy on Myspace. It was him. The guy I hadn’t talk to for so long, but still felt for so much. We talk on and off on Myspace for about 3 months, and finally we hung out for the first time. After that we started hanging out more, and more. I worked nights, and he gets up early for work, and I’d get text messages from him. Very sweet text messages I might add.
Things seem to be going great. The connection is there, but he seemed so stand-offish . We hung out, a lot when we could. And when we do hang out its always, always been fun. He’s done surprises for me, and he spent around $200 dollars on me for my birthday. Because of his work schedule he works 12 hour shifts, and we only hang out at the end of the week. But he gets Wednesdays on, and Wednesdays off. So he’ll have a four to three day weekend. The sad part is, is he lives right down the street from me. I feel that if you really like someone, and live right down the road form them, you’d maybe pop in, and say hi. But then that’s me, other people are different. But when we are together its always fun. There was a time we laid in bed for almost 5 hours, and just laughed. I had never done that with anyone before. When I’ve asked for my friends advice, they say, that one minute I am happy with him, and the next, I never know what the hecks going on. Its so back in forth.
He is also just like he was two years ago. Doesn’t want a relationship. He also told me why he never dated me two years ago. Apparently when I went and hung out with one of my girl friends one night, he looked at my phone, and seen text messages to my ex-boyfriend. He finally told me this after two years. The messages were getting back at my ex for cheating on me earlier that year. I wanted make him feel like . So I was trying to lead him on, and the Russian took it the wrong way, which he had every right to do so. So now he tells me he had trust issues. Not so bad anymore. I think realizes that I was younger, and dumber then. But he doesn’t know that I would have given him the world then, and I would give him the world now. I feel as if he’s my first love. Someone I have never technically dated sadly enough. But in the end trying to get back at my ex-boyfriend, bit me in the .
About a week ago, we were texting each other on the phone, and I asked what he was up to. He said, “Picking a friend up from the airport, and talking to a Air Line rep.” He told me why he was talking to the airline rep. but he never told me about his friend. I didn’t ask many questions about it, until I seen him two days later. I casually asked, “Who you pick up from the airport?” He said, “I told you a friend.” I shrugged it off as much as I could, and ignored it, Well, that night we got into a pretty deep conversation. I asked, “Why are we here?” I was pretty much asking him are we wasting our time? He said, “ Look, I understand that you want a relationship, and we can have a relationship right now if you want, but it won’t last, because I am not ready. And I know you are asking for security, but I cannot tell you when we will be together.” We have perfectly agreed that we are friends right now, and we do have feelings for each other, and we shouldn’t hid those feelings. But do I sit around and wait? He said something to me like this before, “I will know when your ready.” (for a relationship that is) Am I just feeling like this because of our past, and I am afraid that I will get hurt? Our past wasn’t all that good. He wasn’t very nice to me then, and today, when we’re together, He so sweet. Also since last week, he’s been avoiding my calls a little bit, and my text messages. He’s been acting kind of weird since that conversation we had. Also, during the conversation he told me, that he’s thinking that I might not be able to handle it what we are doing now. I just think that if there is a chance I am ready, and if there isn’t, well I want to avoid getting hurt, and wasting my time?
For those of you giving me advice thanks bunches…
PS
I am sure your are wondering
His age. He’s 24