I'm getting married in a few weeks. I'm 22. I was in a relationship about 4 years ago where my ex tried to get me to mess around with women so he could watch. He was also interested in watching me mess around with guys (never did) I've never had an interest in other females that way but my ex didn't seem interested in me sexually unless he thought about me with females. It was like he was trying to make me bi-sexual or something. I kissed a girl but that is it. I found him in bed with a guy once. I didn't see him doing anything but him and this guy were sleeping on the fold out couch in the extra room with just boxers on. That along with other things makes me think he was bi and wanted me to be bi too. He used to say I was a b*t*h without the tch. I never felt like I was or am. I have no desire to kiss a woman.

Here is where the question comes in. I keep having dreams. The first dream was one of my friends was trying to get me to run away with her. She wanted me to go to the store with her so she could buy stuff for waffles and we could live together forever because she was in love with me. I kept telling her that I wasn't into women but she kept dragging me along.

The next dream I forget the details but it also involved a woman trying to get me to be with her and me fighting it.

Again last night I had another one. This time I was just talking to an old childhood friend (we were both grown up in the dream I just knew it was one of my old friends I don't talk to anymore) we were just laying down on the bed chatting and watching a movie or something then she pressed herself against me and said well lets get this going. I pulled away from here and said what! Then I woke up.

I know that these dreams are coming from my past but why now. It's been a while since I left my ex and I'm about to get married. I don't know if it's a fear that something like that will happen again. I'm under a certain amount of stress right now with the wedding around the corner. I've been known to have lucid dreams and supposedly I have a sleep disorder but I've never done a sleep study. They gave me meds to take but I don't take them because it makes no difference. I'd like to pretend that my ex doesn't affect me any more but I don't want to kid myself. The abuse in that relationship was a hard thing to get over. Now I'm helping people in abusive situations but I need to help myself with this dream thing. I'm generally a very happy person and most people would never guess that I was in an abusive relationship or that I have dreams like I do. My fiancé is aware of the dreams but I don't want to tell him all the dirty details of the dreams because I don't want him to worry. Any help or advice would be great. Thanks.

My interpretation is that you are subconsciously struggling with your homosexual urges. This being brought on by your impending marriage. I don't think it has anything directly to do with your old abusive boyfriend.

Thanks but... kissing a girl does not make you a homosexual. The only reason I did it was because it made him interested in me sexually and well I wanted to have sex. I've never kissed a girl since and I've never wanted to.

He wasn't my boyfriend. He was actually my husband.

Having homosexual urges doesn't mean you are a homosexual... everyone has urges toward the same sex. It is just about understanding yourself and what makes you tick.

Dreams are messages from your subconscious mind, in part... they are there needing attention, but your conscious mind doesn't acknowledge them for whatever reason.

Best wishes,

Honestly, Dreams are just that sometimes. Just dreams.

You have had certain pressures and concerns from your past and they may be coming up now because of the anxiety of the wedding , etc... Do not let these dreams ruin your future.

It is good that your communicating some parts of your dreams to your fiancé. Does he know any of the situation of your past experience?? If not, suppressing them or not being open to him about it might be given them life in your dreams.

I do believe that once you get settled down and all the rush of a wedding and anxiety and all these changes your about to make. The dreams will subside.

Best wishes to you and your fiancé by the way and your wedding. I am sure everything will be fine.

....everyone has urges toward the same sex.



Choux
This is obviously your opinion and I respect that , however I can assure you I never have. In fact just the thought of it repulses me.

Thanks but...kissing a girl does not make you a homosexual. the only reason i did it was because it made him interested in me sexually and well i wanted to have sex. i've never kissed a girl since and i've never wanted to.

he wasn't my boyfriend. he was actually my husband.

I think you may be having anxiety dreams because of the things you went through in your last marriage. Your wedding is coming up soon, and you have got so many things on your mind, I'm sure. It's probably just your mind working overtime, and all the memories of your previous marriage.

Try not to read too much into that, and think about all of the happy things to come, before you go to sleep. Try to relax before you go to bed, and think of the happy marriage ahead of you, and not the past things that have bothered and upset you. Don't feel guilty for things that you've done in the past. You obviously know that you are interested in men, and not women. Your dreams are simply a part of your memories, and you don't need to worry! It's your subconcious bringing back something that was a stressful, and maybe confusing, part of your life. Now that you are getting married again, it just brings up old memories when you are asleep.