So... my girlfriend left me the other day because she feels like she can't be with me whilst she's thinking about someone else or whilst she can even consider kissing another woman.

Basically, this all came about because she went away last weekend to Butlins and ended up kissing a woman who, supposedly, both of them have had feelings for each other since November.

Here's another cliché to add to the mix... the other woman is married with 2 children of which she has now left to be with my girlfriend.

Now, when I was dumped I was told it wasn't the end, and that she just needed time to sort her head out and needed some space. I've tried giving this space but it's so hard... and to top it all off, I don't know what to believe anymore. And she keeps reassuring me that she hasn't left me for the other woman, however that was what she told her best friend.

I feel like telling her that if she does get with her, I'll be another person to be add to her list of people throwing death threats... yes, the other woman's family are out to kill both of them; literally.

On Wednesday night she went to watch the football with a friend whilst I agreed to watch her son... I treat this little boy as my own, while she was out we walked to the shops, we played with some toys, I bathed him, dressed him and put him to bed with a warm bottle of milk. And then... when the game is over, I ask her to come home... to which I get the excuse "United haven't won the Championship since the 90's and I havent' seen my mate in ages"... to my horror, I discovered that around the time I text her she's already left her mate to go and meet up with this woman she kissed, because she was upset... like a dog on a lead, she followed.

I've even told her explicitly that I want nothing more than to be back with her. Our relationship was so good, we talked about moving in together, more children, marriage... and the rest and it was for real. We loved each other.

And she can't even pin-point when or where it went wrong, she just thinks it did. She has said that if I give hertimet o think there's a high chance we'll be back together again... but I can't leave her for that long... I've been so used to being at her hip 24/7 for the past 5months (not long, I know, but long enough to know when someone is right for you).

So I've simply just sent her some messages to tell her how much I love her and about all the great times we shared... I spent 2hours writing one message... and she said it was great to hear all of that again.

I just don't know what to do. I don't even know what I'm asking here, I just need some space to vent to stop me from breaking down over and over again.

I'd just appreciate some advice on what I should do to increase the chances of getting back with her. I love her and the child equally as much, and I'm just lost without them... I've not gone into work or anything because of this, I just can't cope. :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

Thanks in advance... Michelle.x

You're not hopeless. You're sad. You can cope, but you're fully busy being sad and feeling sorry for what you've lost. That's all perfectly understandable and reasonable.

You already know you can't make her be the person you want. Women change. It's the fact of life. She has changed for the worse, and you want your "old girl" back.

Well, I hope you face the truth that if this girl came back to you, it wouldn't be the "old girl". It would be her body. She's gone, though.

Enjoy your memory. I am sorry for your loss. Your old girlfriend has effectively passed away and you need to allow time for the grieving to complete.

Then you can get on with your life. I'm sorry there is still a person who looks like your old girl still walking around in your life. She's not her, though, just looks like her. You will probably need to avoid this doppelgänger.

After all she has put you through, you instead chose denial, and when it hits you in the face, you go for self pity. I don't want to be harsh or insensitive, but given events you have written, you had to see this coming, and should have started to back away emotionally any way. If you so chose you can cope, and you will, but getting off the pity pot, and accepting what has happened, is the first thing you should do. You had far too much of yourself tied up in this person, and need to find yourself again. Sorry for your loss.

I would say that you should express your feelings for her and ask where you stand in the future.Take what she says and if the two of you are truly over try moving on.I know it's hard,but its not fair for you to wait around on someone that may never come back.

You can't really get people you love back very easily. It takes time and effort. Show her you care, make sure she knows you care. But just don't wait around for her all the time. The choice is yours; either let her drive over your life, or get the keys and put her in your car (life). Well I hope I helped, if I did please rate my answer. GOOD LUCK!