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horsesaremylife
May 18, 2008, 04:27 PM
Hi I do not know what to do my fiancé and I have been together for over 2yrs living together and we have had some really ruff times he always say I am to pushy and I feel so bad I do not mean to be!
We had to move apart for a little while until we both can get back on our feet not something either of us wanted were we were living we got kicked out and he moved in with his mom in NJ and I moved in with my dad in NY he only stayed in NJ because of his job and I am moving back to a new place on the first. He seems angry with me and like I annoy him I miss him so much and I ask him if he is going to be living with me and he says I am not getting in to this again and never answers

I believe he said yes a while ago but do not remember I feel like he does not want to tell me anything he does not say I love you anymore but we do not talk either he says I push too much and I am driving him insane I tell him I love him all the time and always asking what he wants I guess it annoy him and everyone tells me to back off but it is so hard for me and I am scared to

He is all I have. I have no mother she left when I was 3 and my dad is dying from cancer and I have no other family all I have is him and I do not know what to do I want to know what he wants. It seems when I ask him it annoys him I never loved anyone like him not even my sons dad who I was with 5yrs

I know I am pushy and I feel bad and I asked him to help me change but he never says anything. I love him more then anything I would take a bullet for him. I do not know if I scare him or what can someone help me please he has done a lot for me moved a lot and did everything for me and I love him I wish I could show him but do not know how with out pushing him or upsetting him please some advice thank

talaniman
May 18, 2008, 05:12 PM
You have issues you need to deal with, and should focus on them, not him. If you need help then you should get it. You can't expect to stay with someone until you get your own problems solved once and for all.

horsesaremylife
May 18, 2008, 05:22 PM
Thank you I do not know how to go about getting help or what I need I just never felt about anyone the way I feel about I never had this problem in any other relationship I was in

talaniman
May 18, 2008, 05:41 PM
Start with a doctor visit, and explain the problem, and he can refer you to the right clinician. Good Luck.

JBeaucaire
May 18, 2008, 06:20 PM
You've had other relationships, they ended, and yet you "never had this problem before"? Tough to reconcile those facts.

Ignore your feelings FOR him and focus solely on how you are TOWARDS him. You can trust his actions 100%, and right now they are telling you to back off... pretty loud and clear, huh?

Tal is right. You not only need to work out your personal issues of confidence, clinginess, pushiness, most of all you need to work on self-reliance. It is a rare man that actually WANTS to stay with a woman who acts the way you descibe yourself.

Now, don't get mad at me, I'm trying to help, OK? You really need to be more self-sufficient, building your happiness on your own abilities and accomplishments, THEN SHARE that life with your guy.

But you don't have to. There are guys out there that actually WANT a needy girl who wraps her life up around him. I can't predict how your life would be with a man like that, but hey, it might be perfect for you based on how you are now.

I also suggest that you take this opportunity to NOT race back into the same situation you had before. Living with your B/F didn't help your relationship at all, did it? I know it made some things convenient, but step back and try to be honest. Playing house without the security of a marriage vow... that sucked a lot at times, didn't it?

Go back to DATING your guy, earn each others individual respect, then share time together based on those strengths.

Mr_am
May 18, 2008, 10:10 PM
Do not put your eggs in one basket... if the person is not interested.. you have problem (check it out.. know if the person is interested really or not) may be should be ready find someone who really cares.