Okay so I'm 16 (I will be 17 in 47 days in case anyone wanted to know)! And we have these new neighbors. His name (I'm changing it) is Tucker. Tucker and his wife have been married for about 2 years and are really happy. They are trying to have a kid but nothing seems to be working. Now Tucker doesn't really talk to my parents or my sister but he talks to me... like when I get home from school we typically talk for like an hour or so. He likes to hug me and pick me up. And I think that I like him. And then last night I had a dream about us having sex. Am I a horrible person? I don't want to be a home-wrecker but I think I might really have feelings for him! Please help!

Honey, we've all been there.

My married crush was the father of the baby that I was babysitting. His wife was always out shopping or to the clubs. This was his second marriage and the baby was less than 6 months old.

He was always nice to me and even though I only lived a few houses down the street, he offered to give me a ride home once, saying that he wanted to stop by the shop and get some ice-cream first and if I wanted some. Well, we never got the ice-cream and I learned then that the seats in an old Cadillac reclined at the push of a button. He fondled me and made me touch him - thank goodness nothing further, but acted like nothing happened for months thereafter. There is nothing worse than being in this type of spot - and not telling anyone about it. I just hope that you stick to your dreams and don't go any further. They will eventually fade and you'll feel silly about this crush a few months later. Just imaging how you would feel if making one foolish move... and then DON'T. It's not worth it and can mess you up for a long, long time, not to mention his marriage. It might get messed up anyway, the way he acts - but please don't let it be your fault - let him make those mistakes with someone else and try to keep your distance.

Once discovering our sexuality and getting noticed - no matter what agegroup, it starts us in a new stage of development which should be healthy and carefree, safe and wonderful. So, please don't let acting on just dreams or anyone else ruin it for you.

Good luck dear, growing up is a true challenge.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE)There is a big difference between falling in love and feeling lust! One takes a long time and a lot of mutual work, the other is just a fleeting tickle. Please recognize the difference before it's too late.

Stay away from him...

Okay so I'm 16 (I will be 17 in 47 days in case anyone wanted to know)! And we have these new neighbors. His name (I'm changing it) is Tucker. Tucker and his wife have been married for about 2 years and are really happy. They are trying to have a kid but nothing seems to be working. Now Tucker doesn't really talk to my parents or my sister but he talks to me...like when I get home from school we typically talk for like an hour or so. He likes to hug me and pick me up. And I think that I like him. And then last night I had a dream about us having sex. Am I a horrible person? I don't want to be a home-wrecker but I think I might really have feelings for him! Please help!
If you really don't want to be a home-wrecker then you should avoid that man. You're just getting yourself into trouble. You're too young there's so many deserving and available guys out there for you. Don't let your feelings grow, and you can just do that if you will stop talking to him and avoiding him.

Your sixteen girl!!

Open a window, go for a bike ride, get a slurpee, do some fun stuff while your young and leave complicated stuff like this to when you're an adult. I guess you can say it's a common thing to have a crush on someone older than you (teachers and so on) although anything more than a crush is asking for trouble. You never do know what a man will do when faced with situations such as these (men fantasize too) God forbid that should ever happen, you may be getting in way over your head.

Like I said, get out there and focus on some other activities.

He should not be hugging you and picking you up. You need to put a stop to this right away.

Ask her wife see how she feels about him picking you up and talking to you only...
This man is too creepy!

Am I a horrible person? I don't want to be a home-wrecker but I think I might really have feelings for him! Please help!
You aren't horrible yet, but if you keep letting him hug on you, and pick you up, your headed that way. Leave the older guys alone, and especially your married neighbor. Sometime we can't help who we like, but we have control over what we do about it. Don't cross that line from feelings, to being horrible.

He likes to hug me and pick me up.
Big red flag. He's a lecher and a predator, and he knows what he's doing is wrong.

And I think that I like him. And then last night I had a dream about us having sex. Am I a horrible person? I don't want to be a home-wrecker but I think I might really have feelings for him! Please help!
You're not a horrible person, but he is. You are young and naïve. Nothing good can come of this. Stay as far away from him as you can.

Okay so I'm 16 (I will be 17 in 47 days in case anyone wanted to know)! And we have these new neighbors. His name (I'm changing it) is Tucker. Tucker and his wife have been married for about 2 years and are really happy. They are trying to have a kid but nothing seems to be working. Now Tucker doesn't really talk to my parents or my sister but he talks to me...like when I get home from school we typically talk for like an hour or so. He likes to hug me and pick me up. And I think that I like him. And then last night I had a dream about us having sex. Am I a horrible person? I don't want to be a home-wrecker but I think I might really have feelings for him! Please help!
I understand that I'm supposed to stay away from him but how can I do that when he lives right across the street. He gets all weird when I don't say hi. I really don't think he's a bad guy but I'm so confused. I shouldn't be feeling this way but I can't help it!

MEN ARE PIGS!! Stay away from this PREDATOR!!

I understand that I'm supposed to stay away from him but how can I do that when he lives right across the street. He gets all weird when I don't say hi. I really don't think he's a bad guy but I'm so confused. I shouldn't be feeling this way but I can't help it!

He might be a good guy and then again might not. But you need to set some ground rules by letting him know that you don't need to be picked up - you're a big girl. Also, make sure that someone else is around when he talks to you. It is OK to wave across the street - he is your neighbor.

I know that you probably think that you might get him in trouble if you talk to your parents about your current confusion and don't want to 'cause' him harm.. but you should also think about yourself, the stress that you are going through and make a choice. If he comes over when you are alone (in the yard) get up and tell him you've got something important to do..
If he comes over to the house when you are alone - let him know that you are not allowed to let anyone in when alone - straight and simple. If you don't want to tell him straight out that he's confusing you, this should at least give him a hint that you feel uncomfortable around him alone. If he catches on and respectfully leaves you alone, fine. If not, then you need to tell him that he makes you uncomfortable and that you need your space.

We are here to help you.. but you should also talk to someone who you trust about your feelings - like your mom. After all, she was your age once too and probably understands more than you think she does.

Stay with us and let us know how things go.

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but how can I do that when he lives right across the street.
Wave hello and stay off his property, and if he touches you in any way let him know that you ain't going for it. He is a neighbor not your master. He has no rights to you, and you give him none. If he doesn't like it, and acts weird, tell your parents.

I understand that I'm supposed to stay away from him but how can I do that when he lives right across the street. He gets all weird when I don't say hi. I really don't think he's a bad guy but I'm so confused. I shouldn't be feeling this way but I can't help it!
He may not be a pervert and a predator, he may just be a weak and foolish guy who's letting his hormones overpower his common sense. Either way, there's nothing beneficial for you in inviting his attentions and allowing him to take physical liberties with you. The way to change your feelings is to place firm limits on your behavior based on what you know to be true.

Okay... this is going to be hard. But I know that you are all right and I need to do this!

Any other last words of wisdom before I do this?

Any other last words of wisdom before I do this?

Yes. Do not, under any circumstances feel guilty or responsible. You did nothing wrong. You are growing and going through normal stages in life which are confusing enough, so do not blame yourself for the weaknesses and/or actions of others.

Accept dreams at your age as normal being influenced by hormonal and emotional changes and go on with setting your future plans and goals and work on this reality with support from family and friends.

Sometimes, it even helps writing down your feelings and reading them years later with a more 'mature' understanding of them. You'll wind up being proud of your personal growth.

Enjoy life dear, it's mostly good, honest.

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TaTaForNow...

Not feeling guilty is going to be hard. Even though I'm a virgin and am a really good and innocent kid my friends (both guys and girls) tell me that I'm someone who causes people to lose sense of their morals. To them I would be the mistress of some guy. They don't mean it in a rude way they just think that I have a seductive nature. Which makes situations like this unbelievably hard.
I will try to accept my dreams as normal and go on with my life.
I don't like writing things down because other people can read them. And the last thing I want to do is get HIM in trouble for this.

And the last thing I want to do is get HIM in trouble for this.
If that motivates you fine, because messing with you sends him to JAIL!!

Girl, what are you thinking??

I'm thinking that I am confused and haven't done anything with this guy but am getting really weird messages from him. I don't want to call him out on it and have this be a big misunderstanding. But something must be done.

I'm thinking that I am confused and haven't done anything with this guy but am getting really weird messages from him. I don't want to call him out on it and have this be a big misunderstanding. But something must be done.

It's up to you. First off, I would curb testing my flirtatious skills in the neighborhood. Your friends are only telling you what they observe and that should give you a clue. A wife tends to notice batting eyes, smiles and other body language and you probably subconsciously went to town in that department - no wonder he thinks you sent him signals and no wonder she thinks you are hitting on him. You really have to set it straight before it get out of control, for your own sake as well as his.

Now, put yourself in her shoes for a minute and think of how you would react in her place.

So, stay out of his way and find young single men your age to test your skills on. But still be careful.

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I don't want to call him out on it and have this be a big misunderstanding. But something must be done.
It starts with you staying away from him, that way he can't get the wrong idea, or misread any signals from you.

That makes since. Especially since I'm not purposely trying to attract his attention.

First and foremost I'm sure he is not serious. Not to be mean but real. Married men that do this just want one thing and we know what that is. Whether you give it to him is another thing and I would not advise that. You feel you love him because I sure he says nice things like your pretty he doesn't love his wife they are having problems etc... etc... and he doesn't talk to your mom or sis because he knows that he is wrong. Even some adult women are dealing with this and the man says almost for sure that he is leaving his wife and you know the result he never does! Hopefully this will past and some you will be feeling this way about someone else.

Thanks (not sarcastic). I know... and I guess I should have phrased my question differently. I KNOW that I don't love him. I'm way to young to say that. Especially about some one who is a lot older than me and has a wife. I don't even think crush properly describes it but it's that he's nice. I would never do anything with him but that dream had me questioning if contrary to what I know in my heart if I actually cared about him. Even if this doesn't pass I'm headed into my senior year and am most likely moving out of state for college.

Just be patient with yourself until then. College can be exciting and something to look forward to.

Just be aware that changing from an all girl's school to a whole new environment can be like a 'culture shock' , so keep your goals in sight.

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I'm learning how to be patient with myself. I'm not the easiest person to get along with. I'm very excited about college and seeing what I can do with the talents God gave me.

The culture shock is what I'm most scared of. Luckily my high school has given me the chance to make great female friends who I know I can count on and will keep me on the path to reach my goals.

Even thou your not the easiest person to get along with there are so many different people in college that you will vibe with.

Keep your head up not trying to be sarcastic if that was for me! :)

I certainly hope so... and yes the "not being sarcastic" comment was TOTALLY for you! Once again... no sarcasm!:p

That's cool too. Lol :) But the advice is to help you some speak from experience some speak of opinion. If someone has experience this could be a easy lesson learned without you suffering the consequences.

"No man is your friend No man is your foe but everyman is your teacher"

Don't be upset but more like a sponge and absorb all information unless someone is plain out rude and nasty.

I have learned a lot. And I'm trying not to get upset because I know that you guys are just trying to help and I appreciate that. Hopefully what you guys have told me will help me and I will be able to get out of this situation without making a mess

You will just be careful that's all! The wife has no clue what he as been doing does she? Or do you not have a clue if she knows about it?

I don't know if she knows. But I would assume that she does, why else wouldn't she like me? Sorry if that sounded vain. I didn't mean it like that

Lol! How do you know she doesn't like you? She said something to you?

Lol. No... she talks to my whole family except me. And when I wave she turns the other way! Things like that!

Yeah she knows or suspects! Just be careful and distance yourself she could be crrrrrraaaaaaazzzzzzzzyyyyyyy! Him too :) By the way college is fun fun fun! And educational have fun there and become successful.

Exactly. But he and I haven't and NEVER will do anything. LOL! I can't wait for college! Thanks for the advice!

Anytime! I was young once and not so long ago lol

Lol... being young is a pain. I can't make as big of a difference in the world yet. Lol

I will be able to get out of this situation without making a mess
Keep it simple and leave all of them alone. Problem solved, now get ready for college.

Ok... I can't wait for college. Such a big decision!

I know he won't leave her for me... nor do I want him too.

Lol... thanks for that advice. I'll look into that and keep you updated lol

I'm learning how to be patient with myself. I'm not the easiest person to get along with. I'm very excited about college and seeing what I can do with the talents God gave me.

The culture shock is what I'm most scared of. Luckily my high school has given me the chance to make great female friends who I know I can count on and will keep me on the path to reach my goals.

Hi, I think you new Avatar is nice.

As for the future culture shock - we are still here, and I'm sure that you know you can talk to us about that when the time comes. Just take things day by day and don't intentionally look for any brick walls.

Now, relax and enjoy the upcoming summer break.

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I cannot even wait for summer break! Less than 10 days!!

Okay so I'm 16 (I will be 17 in 47 days in case anyone wanted to know)! And we have these new neighbors. His name (I'm changing it) is Tucker. Tucker and his wife have been married for about 2 years and are really happy. They are trying to have a kid but nothing seems to be working. Now Tucker doesn't really talk to my parents or my sister but he talks to me...like when I get home from school we typically talk for like an hour or so. He likes to hug me and pick me up. And I think that I like him. And then last night I had a dream about us having sex. Am I a horrible person? I don't want to be a home-wrecker but I think I might really have feelings for him! Please help!
Feelings and dreams aren't bad. ACTIONS can be. Stay away from that side of the tracks. Trust me. I have a friend currently who fell in love with a married man convinced him to hook up with her and got pregnant. She has been outcasted by everyone. Not only that, she was a huge part in messing up the marriage. Here's a tip... STAY AWAY FROM TAKEN MEN. What is the point? They're taken. Its disrespectful to yourself and to them. Not only that but imagine if you were married and some teen was all over your husband. How would that make you feel? JUST STAY AWAY FROM TAKEN MEN. It's just a bad idea all around

Your desire is normal and common.

Just back off. Channel that energy. It won't end well if you act on it most likely.

You are going to be attracted to men you cannot have. I've been attracted to women I could not be with. I've more than a few itches and desires about women I could, but won't, be with. It happens. It's a part of being alive and being sexual.

Its OK.

Its maddening. But its OK.

Find someone more available... dreams and fantasies are powerful and fun. I have fantasies id never act on... most people do.

But id really advise you to just accept him as a big crush and that's that. Your body and mind are just gearing up for another stage of your life... and with several billion people in this world, I'm guessing he isn't the end all be all.

Personaly I think he has no feelings for you I think he is just trying to be a good friend of yours. And your 2 young to be thinking about a relationship with a married man, they been with each other 4 2 years you wouldn't want to ruin that relationship. Just be friends with the guy and if you talk to him about how you feel about him he will think your crazy little girl and that will ruin the friendship between u 2. Just say hi once in a while. And he doesn't feel the same way for you again he just being a good friend and neighbor.

Thanks guys for all of your input but needless to say things worked out as they should. We talked about and there is nothing to be worried about. He admitted to crossing lines he shouldn't and apologized. And in a crazy kind of twist of events, he find a great guy friend my own age. He also helped me see that I'm not looking for a relationship during my senior year. I want to enjoy this time being single. I have a lot of ambitions for my life and am far too young to try and have the serious and committed relationship I was looking for. THANK YOU to everyone! You are fantastic. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a mock trial and preparation for a modified version of the bar exam that is eagerly awaiting me. Later days!:o

Welcome dear, glad were could be of help.

Good luck with you exams and don't forget to have some uncomplicated fun between your studies.

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I plan to seeing as the new Batman movie comes out at midnight:D . I'm going to go see it.



Ps- thanks for everything and I hope you are feeling well:)

Hey batgirl, oh man. I don't want to put too much info on here but when you see this if you would like leave me your email address or something. I want to tell you about my situation, which before anything happened, sounded almost EXACTLY like yours. Get back to me darling.