I have been going out with a girl for about four month now. She is 17 and I am 19. But recently I have had a lot of doubts about our relationship. This is because, the latest thing she done was that I was supposed to be seeing her tonight then she texted me saying she can't see me because something's come up. Can she not just tell me what she's really doing? I find that really annoying as it is like she is keeping something from me and for some reason lately in the back of my head I have been thinking she may be cheating on me what do I do? I just feel as though something isn't right and something's going on. I am just sick of the worry I think. I think I can trust her but I've had doubts lately, don't know why. I probably sound crazy but that only because I love her to bits and I always have loved her and it breaks my heart to think this but I need to know. Am I just paranoid? Overall I feel as though she messes me about. Examples of this are she says when I'm with her I ll see you next week and I'm like no I l see you in a couple of days then I ll end up missing her. I don't think I feel safe in this relationship, this is how I feel at the minute, other times I mite feel different but this is the way I'm thinking at the moment. Also she ll lie to me, just little lies like I ll ask her what she's been up to on a night time and she ll say nothing. But the next day I ll talk to one of her friends and she say that she was around mine with some friends! There's just no need in it well that what I think u? Why couldn't she just tell me. Finally lately she s hardly texted me through the day and at the moment we are nt very close. For some other reason I just feel as though she s ashamed of me well she is ashamed of me and I don't know why? The truth is though I love her and I thnk I always will, she's my first love which I think makes things worse. What do I do? How can I make things better so I can be happy with her? Should I finish with her? Whoever replies to me I am very grateful Thank you?

Well first the worst thing man ever did, was to invent a telephone and then decide to make a typewriter out of it, use the stupid phone and call each other.

But no you are dating, and you are not required to explain what you are doing all of the time, everyone needs some of their private time.
And you may be getting controlling, and wanting to know everything she is doing. So you need to chill,

I can understand why you have trust issues if she is lying about nonsense things like she is. I would probably be a little uneasy as well, but at the same time you need to realize that your going to suffocate her. I was in the opposite situation - my ex always wanted to know what I was doing, when, where I was, and if my plans changed last minute and I didn't tell her, she got upset. It's a ridiculous way to live and it breeds resentment.

Try talking to her about your issues with her lying, and confronting her about why she is doing it.

Does she know that you know about her lying? If so, she may be stuck in a revolving door of lies that she can't get out of. I suggest backing away from her give her some space. Don't ask so many questions and try to have fun with her again. Cut your contact time with her in half and let her initiate as much as possible. We tend to want to talk twice as much when we feel this way, but half as much seems to work for me.

When you talk, use your lips, not your fingers. Text messages and emails and IMs are not the way CLOSE people communicate, they are weak flirting tools. Worse, they give you a completely false sense of connection.

Pressing SEND on a text message does not qualify as having made any connection at all. More than likely, you've rudely interrupted in a way the person can't stifle.

Use your voice for all communication so you can hear her tone, or SEE her body language. Then you'll really know if you have anything to worry about.

Yes, you're being paranoid, which doesn't invalidate your concerns in any way, you may be perfectly right about her, even though you ARE being paranoid. See how pointless it is to snipe text messages then have worry sessions on your own about what's going on?

You DO have a lot of fun things going on in your life that have nothing to do with her, right? Hobbies, helping at the church, volunteering at the Boys Club, football, softball, kayaking... anything at all? She needs to be a small part of what is going on in your life, not THE thing going on. If she is ALL you have to occupy your mind, you're making her miserable AND you miserable.

Cut it out, get a life, make it awesome, then share it with her.

Balance your life with other things you enjoy, and no, your not in love as you think you are, no matter how intense the feelings are. Bet even money she hasn't fallen as fast, and deep, as you have, so slow your train down, and take time to get to know this stranger better, before you start all this assuming, and guessing, and obsessing.

Give her more space and concentrate on other things. If she mucks you about a lot time to use the method of mouth to mouth communication to resolve your problems. e.g. Keeps cancelling then speak to her.

Give it a month or so see how it goes then if nothing improves speak to her. Your both young, especially her, I dount many people know where they are at that age. I certainly don't.