My husband and I are going to be trying for a kid in the next 6 months. We've been using condoms for protection but I hear getting on birth control can help you have a baby faster. There isn't a history of people having issues getting pregnant in my family. Both my mother and sister had 3 healthy kids. Is there a best way? I really want to be a Mom and want to try to avoid the stress of not getting pregnant. Thanks.

Well stop using condoms and try. Birth control works as just that BIRTH CONTROL and they call it that for a reason... so stop with the condoms and then you probably have a chance. That's how most people get pregnant is without protection...

I've just heard that getting on birth control regulates your period and makes it easier. We want to wait about 6 months because of planning but if getting on birth control to regulate my period will make it easier then I'll need to do that now. Thanks.

I'd talk to your doctor about the birth control thing, not just go on hear say. :)

Good advise. I think I'm just getting paranoid about something that isn't even an issue yet. I'm just the planning type and I want to be able to know exactly when I'll get pregnant so I can plan accordingly. My husband tells me that I need to just relax and enjoy the unpredictability of it. I'll try to chill and talk to a doctor if it becomes an issue.

Yes, you do need to relax. Stress can cause inconsistencies in periods, not being able to get pregnant, etc.

*sigh* I'll try. I'll go drink some tea and chill. (hard with Texas weather) You rock. Thanks. Don't know why hearing it from a perfect stranger makes it kind of sink in but it helps.

Stress and trying too hard can actually delay the process of getting pregnant.

No birth control, and no condoms. No time constraint. Pregnancies can happen with the first try in some people or in others up to a year or more before getting pregnant.

Best wishes.

Dear Lord... no... birth control isn't going to make getting pregnant easier later... its not uncommon for women to have unpredictable periods for months after getting off it.

If you are interested in being a mother, id say use protection and track your cycles. Also, understand the things that increase fertility for you and your man, which is mostly "good living"... eating well, exercising, no smoking, no drugs, limiting stress, limiting illness, avoiding pollution, etc.

So... if you want to wait 6 mo, that's fine... track your cycle, use birth control, and "modify" sex when you are most fertile, meaning oral or other stim if you aren't ready yet.

And once you decide you are "ready" for a child, understand that you need to be patient... most conceive within two years... something like 95% if I'm not mistaken... and a large proportion conceives within a year...

So... be healthy, track your cycle, and enjoy the ride... don't try to fret month to month about "failure" to get pregnant.

Any medical issues in your history? PIDS? Endometriosis? How old are you roughly?

any medical issues in your history? PIDS? endometriosis? how old are you roughly?


I'm 23 years old. My sister had endometriosis but not until after she had her 3 kids and had her tubes tied. The doctor who did her historectomy (sp?) said it was caused from getting her tubes tied and that I shouldn't do that. Is this something that I should get specifically tested for? She is my half sister so I don't know if that changes anything. Other than that there are no other medical issues in my family... besides a little anxiety ;) thus the planning thing I have going. Is it true when you start trying you should only have sex every other day at the most to make sure the sperm doesn't get weak. Another thing I heard that could be bogus. Thanks for your help.

Ok, are you really 23,? I am sorry but this really sounds like some young kid esp when they don't know about birth control

Ok, I will explain this plain, birth control stops you from having a baby, while it is not 100 percent effective, it makes it very very hard to have a baby, while it does regulate your period some it stops you from getting pregnant,

Using a condom also stops most of the sperm so it lowers your chance of getting pregnant.

What you need to do is have sex withough any form of birth control.

If you work though your doctor, they will help you determine the closest time to have sex, and yes it does take one to two days to build up

I know the purpose of birth control is to not get pregnant. I was just asking about the possibility of them helping getting me regulated. Thank you. :)

I know the purpose of birth control is to not get pregnant. I was just asking about the possibility of them helping getting me regulated. thank you. :)

Are your periods not regular now?

j_troubadour: Just advice for you, me and my husband have been trying for 10 months now and the whole planning thing will it doesn't work that great for everyone. It can take healthy couples up to 12 months to become pregnant. My husband and I are both students and we are almost done so we thought we would plan for our little bundle of joy to come during our summer break before graduating, well that didn't happen. If I can give you any advice, it is to relax and just enjoy baby making and the time with your hubby! It make take 1 month and it may take 1 year, you never know. But remember your not the only one out there that wants a baby and wants it when you would like to plan it. LOL! There are a lot of wonderful women just like us on askmehelpdesk willling to gvie you advice and encouragement!! Good Luck to you and your hubby and ya'lls baby making time! BE PATIENT... I know I am learning a lot about being patient!

My periods are pretty regular. I used to start pretty much on the same day each month (a day before or a day after) but now it's just down to like a 5 day time frame.

I know despite my desire to plan everything that I can't plan this down to the day and a lot of it is going to be trusting God and letting him decide but I just wanted to see if there is a "easy way" and apparently it changes from woman to woman. I've heard a lot of do this and do that from all sorts of crazy sources and I figured this was a good way to get answers. Thank you.

I am glad you are trusting God. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have created for you" declared the Lord. God has a plan for each and everyone of us. I pray every day that God gives us our little blessing sooner than later.

Yeah I think if there was an "easy way" no one would be on here and we would all be sleeping peacefully with our little ones. LOL... wish it was that way! Good Luck!

While birth control can regulate your periods you could end up pregnant and taking birth control without realizing it. Definitely what you don't want.

The best advice really to getting pregnant is RELAX and don't "try" to get pregnant. For those who otherwise have no reason for not being able to conceive, stressing over it month after month is the biggest reason they don't get pregnant. Using an online ovulation calendar can give you the best dates for "trying" but you should really just relax as much as possible. You could try one like this: Ovulation Calendar (http://www.ovulation-calendar.net/)

p.s. I am no expert but I do have six kids, so it isn't like I have no idea what I am talking about either. :)

Also you might try fertilityfriend.com it's a good website to chart your cycles and your bbt

p.s. I am no expert but I do have six kids, so it isn't like I have no idea what I am talking about either. :)

Just curious is it easier to get pregnant the second, third, forth, etc. times than the first?

Physically I am not sure if it is easier at any point. Mentally I would say easier the more you have as long as you learn about your body. Know the best times possible in your cycle, pick months when you have the least amount of stresses on you, etc and you have better chances.

However, in all honesty I didn't "try" for each of them either. There were a few blessed surprises!

I've heard about tracking your periods for the most optimal times for getting pregnant. Cool. I'll look into it. And yes I trust in God because without him I'd be nothing. I'm a middle school youth pastor so while I don't have a child of my own I feel like I have a big group of kids. Thanks again.

Just some added info: sudden weight loss/gains, starting/stopping exercise routines, bouts of flu or illnesses, can also all trigger changes in your ovulation cycle. I also believe (correct me J9 if I am wrong) that douching can change the ph/acidity in your vagina as well. So these can be factors to beware of. Keep things as normal as possible and have a boat load of fun trying the times that you do and relax the rest of the time. :)

Wow there is a lot that can effect getting pregnant. I'm going to be happy the day I can tell you that I'm expecting. I don't do drugs, if I ever do drink it's minimal and rarely, my life is pretty consistent as far as stress goes. I'm always on the go but I love it that way. To be honest I've never douched so... I don't know if that's good or bad. It seems from the general opinion of the room I won't have any major issues I just need to not listen to all the bogus advice I'm getting and have fun :)

We will be waiting to congratulate you! Like you said it is in God's Hands and oh what trust worthy hands they are! So sit back and give God the stress and in His good timing you will become a mom. God wants us to have the desires of our hearts and He knows the best timing for our lives.

just curious is it easier to get pregnant the second, third, forth, etc. times than the first?


Not really any easier, in fact some women find, to their surprise, that it doesn't always happen as quickly as they would expect after already being pregnant previously. Some women will experience secondary infertility... which is often unexplained.

The pill is really only used when necessary for helping with irregular cycles. As others have said, learn about ways to tell when you are most likely fertile, but keep in mind that many of the ovulation predictor sites do not take into account women who do not ovulate within the norm... and many do not. Can be helpful to add on several days before and after the time frame they give you for likely ovulation according to your periods.
Sex every other day, or every 3 days, is fine and often more feasible for many couples... some enjoy sex a bit more often from time to time, and while it will lower sperm count, unless there is an issue already, it will not lower it enough to fall out of the normal range for the number considered ideal. Sperm are under various stages of production each day. Since most people don't know if there is an issue, and a good portion of the time there is a male component for infertility, every 2-3 days can be wise, with perhaps a few more added when you know you are likely to be ovulating soon... as motility, or shape/condition of the sperm becomes a factor as well and frequent sex can help in that area if that is the issue of concern. Best to have the sperm ready and waiting for the egg as it is only viable for a short time.
You're right, there is a lot that can effect getting pregnant, timing is just one factor. It can be surprising when you hear of some women getting pregnant without even trying, but then you consider the number who have to try for quite some time for no apparent reason.

I also believe (correct me J9 if I am wrong) that douching can change the ph/acidity in your vagina as well.

Douching should NEVER be done except under a doctor's orders.

Yeah, I was always told that soap and water do just fine but I know that some women still douche.

Douching, while not recommended, can actually help a woman get pregnant as it pushes the sperm up closer to the cervix and into the uterus and fallopian tubes. However, commercial douches should be avoided like the plague as they carry harsh chemicals.

Interesting I did not know that. Thanks J_9 you're a peach!