View Full Version : I love him but I can't even tell if he'd want to go on a date with me.
ThinkingOutloud
May 12, 2008, 07:41 PM
OK, so the main reason I joined this site was to ask this question so please help if you can even the smallest bit of input would help... Alright, so I'm fourteen and the guy I believe am in love with - and yes I said love - is sixteen turning seventeen. The only reason I know him is because he is my brother's best friend. We met around two to two and a half years ago and we've been friends ever since. We've grown closer over time but really I don't get to see him very often because right now we're in different schools - because of the age difference - and I only see him when he is over at the house. When ever he does come over though we end up hanging out together - myself, him, and unfortunately my brother. I watch them play video games and eventually he says he's tired and comes and sits on the couch next to me. Then we flrit shamlessly behind my brother's back. He pokes me playfully, tickles me, makes me laugh, rubs my arm, and holds and caressess my hands when they get cold. He'll dangle his hand in the air as if waiting for a high five but once our hands touch he'll intertwine his fingers with mine and son't let go - not that I want him to. I play with his feet and run my fingers through his hair. Also through out time he has given me plenty of "no reason" hugs. Like one time he had lost his car keys and I was helping look for them with about five other people. When they were found he said thanks for looking and gave me a hug - I didn't even find them! Or this other time he was sleeping over at our house, it was around one in the morning and we'd all gone outside to just fool around. Then when my brother wasn't looking he came over and gave me another random hug. When we're not together we IM but not very often and he's up to giving me rides if I need them. Mainly I'm just confused because when we're face to face it seems as if he really likes me but when we're not it feels as if he's completely forgotten I'm alive. What do you think I should do? I've thought about asking him out several times but then chickened out. Not to mention I'm three years younger, I'm going to his school next year, and he's my brother's best friend - it would be totally akward if we broke up. Any adive on wha to do, what he's thinking, or what his reaction will be if I ask him to go out?? PLEASE HELP! I'VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND AND I'M Totally INEXPERIENCED!! ADVICE IS MUCH APPRECIATED!!
lizsc1
May 12, 2008, 09:49 PM
Aaww... too sweet!!
All you can do is ask, it seems like he likes you as well, but you ARE his best friends baby sister.. so Im sure that has A lot to do with it.
You are young.. and you have soooo much time to be his friend, and get to know each other a lot better.. the best relationships are formed on friendship first.
A little inspiration for you... When I just turned 14, I fell in love with my older brothers best friend as well. We all hung out a lot.. but my brother was very protective of me.. never let any of his friends ask me out.. or even talk about me to him.. I secretly had a crush on his best friend.. When I got a little older, and my brother and I all had the same group of friends... we all hung out together a lot, went to the beach, went to mexico for spring break 3yrs in a row... and all during this time.. I was falling in love with my brothers best friend Anthony.. and he was falling in love with me... we both knew we wanted to be together.. but was too afraid that my brother wouldn't be happy.. but Anthony went to my brother, and told him.. how much he loved and cared about me.. and my brother was totally cool about it..
We all went to prom together.. me with anthony and my brother and his girlfriend... and then Anthony and my brother joined the military together.. and were with each other for 4yrs.. I finished high school.. and while I was in college, they were both deployed.. it was the hardest thing ever.. BUT while they were over there he asked my brother if he could ask me to marry him.. and then he called my dad... and when Anthony came home on his 2 week leave from Iraq he proposed to me.. in front of thousands of people.. I said YES, of course.. he went back to Iraq. And a month after he came home.. I had finished college.. and we got married...
A lot of people said we wouldn't make it... it was just a phase I was going through... but when I gushed to my friends when I was 14yrs old that I LOVED HIM... I really did! And we have been together ever since. Im 23 now.. and couldn't be happier with my marriage!!
Good luck to you sweetie! Follow your heart.. just don't try to have it all at once... if it was meant to be... it WILL be, I promise!
nova225
May 13, 2008, 05:25 AM
Sometimes it's hard to read into what people are saying non-verbally. From what you are saying your relationship with him can mean three things; either he likes you, he's a BIG flirt (does this to all his friends sisters), or he sees you as a little sister. Most young people get LOVE and INFATUATION mixed up, and maybe right now it's love, but next week it might be hate.
If you really feel love... GO GOR IT! But remember your bother might not like that, and you might ruin a good friendship between them.
JBeaucaire
May 13, 2008, 01:19 PM
Just make sure you don't allow anything to happen between you that would send him jail. That's not a very good way to show you like someone.
ThinkingOutloud
May 18, 2008, 04:05 PM
Thank you so much everyone for your input. It means a lot to me that you took the time to answer my question and that you gave me such good advice. I was so surprised that at the end of your story lizsc1 that you got married to anthony. That made me very happy and hopeful. I'm not saying that I'm looking to marry him but I really do think I love him and like you said I'll just have to wait because I know it's meant to be and it will happen. Thank you so much for showing me that what I'm going through has worked out before and that it can also work out for me. Also thank you to Nova255 for your idea on things but I know I love him, I love him so much it almost hurts but a good type of pain, a pain that reminds me of everything amazing that has happened in the small amount of time that I've known him, a pain that reminds me that I've never felt the same way about anyone else before so it must be something more. Lastly thank you to JBeaucaire, I promise that I'm not looking to do anything to ruin his life and neither is he. Much love and thanks.
-ThinkingOutloud