How can I file a claims case against my ex boyfriend who used me for money? I loaned him $4000 and wrote up a contract outlining all terms and conditions and he and I signed it. He told me he would pay back but it has been over a year and I have not seen 1 payment. When I get angry and say I'll settle this leagally, he makes threats against me. He wrote to me in an email that if I ever go to court or say that I will go to court against him, he will make sure that I loose all the respect from my family. He will expose all the pictures we had taken during the time we were together and show them to my family. The pictures are not explicit in any way.. I just don't want my family seeing them. I have much respect for my family and would not want them to know that I ever dated a jirk. He has been abusive and manipulative and feels that he can control me. He is here illigally and tried to convince me to marry him so that he can get his green card. I refused thank god. He refuses to pay me back my money and it's causing me mental and emotional stress. What are my options in showing him that what he's doing is wrong and how can I get him to pay me and not worry about what he'll do as revenge?

You asked:

What are my options in showing him that what he's doing is wrong and how can i get him to pay me and not worry about what he'll do as revenge?

The answer to both questions may be nothing.

You have described this individual as a manipulative, abusive jerk. Litigation is not likely going to change him into a co-operative, caring individual.

Perhaps the only way you could sue for your money without having to worry about him contacting your family and/or distributing the photographs would be to first obtain some type of restraining order or injunction from a higher court, however, we cannot advise you in this regard.

You can call the police and see about having him charged with blackmail for the threats.

And you can sue him for the money.

But you will have to worry about him sending the photos out, this is of course a problem we have if we do photos and things we were not want others to know about. Best bet tell family about photos in general, and then he has nothing to hold over you.

How can I file a claims case against my ex boyfriend who used me for money? I loaned him $4000 and wrote up a contract outlining all terms and conditions and he and I signed it. He told me he would pay back but it has been over a year and I have not seen 1 payment. When I get angry and say I'll settle this leagally, he makes threats against me. He wrote to me in an email that if I ever go to court or say that I will go to court against him, he will make sure that I loose all the respect from my family. He will expose all the pictures we had taken during the time we were together and show them to my family. The pictures are not explicit in any way..I just dont want my family seeing them. I have much respect for my family and would not want them to know that I ever dated a jirk. He has been abusive and manipulative and feels that he can control me. He is here illigally and tried to convince me to marry him so that he can get his greencard. I refused thank god. He refuses to pay me back my money and it's causing me mental and emotional stress. What are my options in showing him that what he's doing is wrong and how can i get him to pay me and not worry about what he'll do as revenge?


If the pictures are not explicit why are you allowing him to blackmail you? And if you attempt to get an order to keep him from releasing the photos he can very well mail them - or, worse, put them on the Internet - before the Court hearing. Doesn't sound, though, like anyone will care very much.

I suspect your family already knows you dated a jerk so that won't be any shock to them. Tell them and then the ex boyfriend has absolutely nothing hanging over your head.

Court is never a good place to prove you are morally right and he is morally wrong - he owes you money, he hasn't paid it, you can take him to Court for that but you can't take him to Court to correct his behavior. You also cannot sue for mental anguish/stress on a contract, which is what you have here. No legal grounds.

As FrChuck said - if he's blackmailing you, go to the Police but if the pictures are not explicit and are merely 2 people dating and you don't want your family to know you dated him (that's the problem as far as you are concerned) I doubt they will be very interested.

He's here illegally? Call the ICE hotline and turn him in: 1-866-DHS-2-ICE He will get deported and he'll wish he'd kept his mouth shut. As far as your money goes I doubt you'll ever see a dime either way. Even if you sue him he won't show up in court (he's illegal... court is not where he wants to be), and you'll win, but he can just stiff you on the payment.

Hey, I am having the same problem kind of. I am suing my ex, but were you able to get money back?

The person who asked this hasn't been back since 2008. We don't know if she got the money back or not.