View Full Version : Who did I conceive with?
aliciaalicia
May 9, 2008, 10:19 PM
OK.. I been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years... now in November we broke up for the first time.. I thought my life was over... I started doing things that were not me AT ALL... I started sleeping with this boy and was with him until January 9, I am not POSITIVE if I slept with him or not that day... I can not remember that far back but he is sure we did... BUT he told me he wanted me to have his baby... (he is an EX from back in the day) BUT my boyfriend I been with for 5 years called on the 10th and I got back with him right away with no thought about it... I was with him from then on... I had one ultra sound at 8 weeks and my due date is October 6, which according to calculators on here I conceived on the 14th with would be wonderful, my doctor says it is 95% my boyfriends baby but I got pregnant he said the dates between the 8th and 16th. He said probably the 14th or 15th though. My boyfriend knows nothing the doctor said keep it to myself because it will turn out the way I hope for he believes... BUT I'm nervous that my next ultra sound will say I'm more days than what it said the first time and if it does I'm in trouble... how often does that happen?? AND according to the due date my period started the 1st of January but I know for a fact I had my period on December 18th or around that day... but that would make me a lot more than what the doctors said... and being 17 weeks I'm not even showing yet so I don't think I'm 2 or 3 more weeks than said, Also January 11 I had some bleeding but it was brown blood and not a lot at all and came and went with in like 3 days... I thought that was my period but it wasn't I guess I don't know because on and off the first three months I had that spotting going on... im so confussed nothing makes sense and I can not sleep at night I stress myself over this day and night it never leaves my head... my boyfriend is more than excited wants to marry me and start a family now and just feels so blessed... but I can't feel the same and it hurts... I just wanted to know what others think if anybody been in this situation or whatever... PLEASE... I need some relief and sleep!! I am depressed all the time have anxiety attacks it isn't good... Thank you I appreciate it...
J_9
May 10, 2008, 08:39 AM
It is IMPOSSIBLE to tell as of right now. Your doctor is only guessing. The only way to tell would be to have a paternity test done once the baby is born.
ordinaryguy
May 10, 2008, 09:24 AM
Since it's impossible to know for sure, why not go with the answer that makes you happiest? Be thankful that your boyfriend is thrilled, and don't let your anxieties ruin a good thing.
tawnynkids
May 10, 2008, 09:42 AM
Does this sound like the potential for a future question in one of the other subjects... say like family law? Come on. You got into this be a big girl and suck it up and make it right, from the start! You tell your boyfriend look while we split up I was with someone else, there is a possibility that this baby isn't yours so we will need to do a dna. And yes, you need to tell the other guy too. I am not going to sit here and say ohhh do what ever feels good or right. Right is right, plain and simple. Own up to the situation your in so the situation doesn't get FAR WORSE down the road. Sorry to be so blunt but the aftermath of not doing this the right way right from the start is just horrific. You being called the witch who tricked two men just so you could get your way, a rotten mother for not thinking of being honest for your child, a whore for getting into this in the first place, two guys feeling betrayed and violated, a child who doesn't know his real father... on and on... just do what is right, don't pretend anything, clear the air be honest and deal with this like a grown up.
Fr_Chuck
May 10, 2008, 09:50 AM
Even at best, the doctor is only guessing ( educated) there is no way to pin point a conception date exactly.
So after the baby is born you will have to get a DNA test to prove who the father really is. So your only really choice is who you want to do the DNA test with boy number one or boy number two
amess
May 10, 2008, 08:03 PM
Please tell your boyfriend.
You do not want to end up in the mess that I am in. It will be much easier to tell now than later.
That is what I am worried about among many other things.
I had a free consultation with an attorney and she told me that charges could not be brought against me, but I am still concerned.
She said they could not because 1)my boyfriend knows about the possibility 2) other guy knows 3) I was unaware at the time of birth.
Does that make since or am I being told incorrect information. I know I have until my son is 2 to take care of this and after that I could be sol.
Is there a maximum amount of child support a court will grant a woman?
For example, if the guy makes 500,000 a year will the court still grant 20% of that? I was thinking it did not matter, but the bio father of my son says if I take him to court for cs ever (which I have no plans on doing) the court will not grant anymore than $1500.00/month.
Is this true?
I am pretty certain neither of the guys will file charges. My boyfriend refuses paternity test even though he knows there is a huge chance of my son not being his.
Bio father says he doesn't care either way.. its whatever I want to do. He lives in another state and doesn't want to take the time out for my son.
I am going to tell my boyfriend... soon. I am so scared. He says it doesn't matter, but actually hearing the truth may be different. I am trying to save up money so me and my son have a place to go if he decides to kick us out.
Thank you for your reply. That is what I expected to hear. I have a lot of other legal things to take care of before I worry about child support, but once that is taken care of I will take him for child support for the simple fact financial is the only way he wants to be in my sons life so I might as well get the full amount so I can provide for my son the way he should be taken care of.
Every other weekend and one night during the week for 3 hours is the norm. This is most likely what the judge will allow. Also, every other holiday and things like that.
Otherwise, it just depends on how involved your child's dad wants to be and how involved you want him to be.
About the notarized documents... we have a dna test that has been notarized supposedly that makes it admissible in court. Another thing is the bio dad is trying to get me to sign a notarized document saying he will pay me child support x amount of dollars/month.
He has given me a little bit of money when I was having a hard time, but it is not a monthly thing. I would never say he didn't give me anything but I keep telling him at this point the court would consider it a gift? Is that correct.
It wasn't court ordered but it was the $550 dollar one through DDC that the courts use and they guarantee it will hold up in court.
So what would happen if neither parties come forward to the courts? I hope to eventually, but I don't know if I will have the money by the time my son is two. I am trying to get bio dad to take me to court but he wants to stay as far away from court as possible!
Well my wife had a writ garnisment last year. We presented a motion for a hearing to vacate that garnisment and the plaintiff did not showed up. Now this month they asked for a hearing to set aside the judge'order. We went to the hearing and they told the judge that they did not received the notice, so they got what they wanted. The thing is that The final judgment was in June 2000 and a lot of violation are present here. They have not presented:
-Proof of standing to sue in Florida, they are from California.
-Original promissory note.
-Ledger.
-Testimony of a competent fact witness.
-The statute of limitation down here in Florida is 5 years, the judgement is from 2000.
-Because the file is from 2000 it was drestroyed.
Can somebody tell me our possibilities to win this. We are not lawyers, we are defending ourself.
I told my boyfriend right away about the one night stand. He just doesn't know I went ahead with the test, but it would have bothered me foerver if I didn't find out. I have always been the person to do the right thing so this situation is eating away at me.
The bio father has full right and Ive told him that to take me for paternity and visitation, but he says he doesn't care and has no plan on stepping foot in a court room.
His only concern in the whole situation is child support. He wants to pay because he has the $$$. He says he wants my kid to have what he wants and needs and does not want me to ever say he didn't help. He feels because he is an alcoholic and lives so far away he would only make my sons life worse by being involved. This was his exact words.
In the first hearing they did not show up, so the judge vacated the garnishment and order to pay back all the money they got from the bank. Now my question is even though they have not presented none of those papers why the judge gave them another chance.
Yes, when she got her money garnished we presented a motion to vacate that garnishment and the day of the hearing they did not show up so the garnishment was vacated, they argued that they did not appear because they were not notify so they did not know about the hearing.
That is my other question how they got the judgement without prenting on records the appropriate documents validating that debt.