And its killing me, I woke up this morning with this awful feeling inside my stomach, I can't get rid of it.

All I can think about is her and its driving me crazy. I just want to let her know how much she means to me, that although I didn't realise what I had at the time I sure do now and would give anything for a second chance.

I love her so much and its breaking my heart

God, if only my fiancé felt that way about me. I certainly hope she knows what she has lost... Have you told her how you felt? Has she moved on? Do you still see each other? I'm not sure what the story is on this... Can you enlighten me a little?

I've tried but she won't listen, she doesn't seem to care about my feelings.

All I want is a chance to make it up to her and show her how much she means to me, all I want is to hold her

Hi zooropa I'm on day 3 and feeling the same way. He won't listen either and he won't take my calls or reply to my texts. It's the most horrible feeling in the world isn't it?

Acting like this will get you NOWHERE!
Clean break. Keep up no contact and for goodness sake be a man act like you've got a pair!

She must be so dumb. And then there are people like me... See my post... It leaves one to question whether she ever loved you really. I am in the same boat with you... We haven't officially broken up... But I have that feeling in my stomach.. I feel like I know it's coming. In reading one of your earlier posts.. You wrote something like "why cry over someone who has broken your heart when there are so many others to mend it"... Enciteful. At this point I think you need to take care of you. It is so hard to feel rejected, believe me I know. I'm going through it now. I think you will be okay. Get out of the house... Don't sit around remembering or looking at old photos... It will only make it harder. She doesn't deserve you. If she really cared she would have never broken your heart to begin with. I wish you all the best and take care of you as you go through this tough time. Trust me, there are others out there going through what you are... Good luck to you. You seem like a really good person and you deserve better.

Hi zooropa I'm on day 3 and feeling the same way. He won't listen either and he won't take my calls or reply to my texts. It's the most horrible feeling in the world isn't it?

Yea, the thing is though I went through the same thing last year, in fact this time last year, I think its bringin up memories of that as well, I'm just having a low point today I think.

Its weird but I can't help but prey that my phone will go off and it will be her, even just to ask how I am

If she wants nothing to do with you, why do you think she is still worth your attention and heartbreak? She certainly doesn't seem to act like she deserves it based on what you said. Get busy, keep your mind off her.

Imation was right, man up! Don't make someone your entire life, which is exactly what you have done, not once but twice. And if you are having memories of last years break up now as well, obviously you weren't healed enough from the first one so you relationship was doomed from the start. You can't expect to hop into a relationship and immediately everything be fine. You didn't give yourself time to heal after the first one and now the second one has fallen apart.

Once again, you are waiting on a phone call that will never come. Didn't you learn your lesson from the last break up? It's kind of like you are constantly praying for a girl to swoop in and make everything okay. The only person on this planet that can make things okay, is yourself. Quit depending on someone else. There's a saying "The world is going to knock you down and if you won't pick yourself up then maybe you don't belong on your feet"

Yea your right, was just having a down moment there but it seems to have passed, thankfully never contacted her. Just need to keep moving on

I am in a similar situation. I broke up with my (now ex) girlfriend a year ago and I wad devastated. I did the begging, crying, checking up on her friends/family for a few months. I couldn't function. I wasn't getting better until I decided that she wasn't worth it. I got angry, I started to move on.

Lo and behold she came back to me a month or so after I started moving on. We'll we got back together and a year later, we broke up again. The difference - this time it was much easier on me. The lesson I learned - make sure I maintain a life of my own no matter what. When she was gone, I was really upset for a while, but I moved on quick. I still miss her, I still wish she would call me, but I spend a few minutes a few times a day thinking about her, not a few minutes a few times a day NOT thinking about her.

So I think the others are right - you have too much invested in this girl. I learned after my first breakup that I will never give everything I have to one person - with the exception of getting married perhaps.

OK I guess its only right I tell you guys, I think I'm suffering from depression, its got so bad that for the first time the other day I started cutting myself. I guess it stems from last year and losing the my first love then finding another girl and her dumping me too, in exactly the same way.

I just feel alone sometimes and want someone to talk to that would understand. Today for the first time I told my family about it and they want me to see a dr, which I'm doing.

Just thought it would maybe make you understand me a little better

ok i guess its only right i tell you guys, i think im suffering from depression, its got so bad that for the first time the other day i started cutting myself. i guess it stems from last year and losing the my first love then finding another girl and her dumping me too, in exactly the same way.

I just feel alone sometimes and want someone to talk to that would understand. Today for the first time i told my family about it and they want me to see a dr, which im doing.

Just thought it would maybe make you understand me a little better

I'm glad to see you are seeing a doctor. One of the themes I've noticed about you over the last year and half or so is you put the girl above... WAY ABOVE yourself. This is never the case. She is not the most important person in your life. You are. With both girls you've seemed to pedastal them and allow them to define you.

Another issue you have is one that I share, I'm a highly emotional male and it can certainly come back to bite us as women generally don't like emotional guys and then use our emotions against us. Trust me, I'm coming off one that did just that to me... and I have to admit that I started to allow it which only made it worse.

I'm not sure how long I was on NC but she saw me yesterday and said with a big smile and much enthusiam... "HELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO" I just said "what's up" and walked on. Today she was following me and tried to get my attention when my cell phone rang. She then sat down until I finished and I just walked off not even acknowledging her. My point is when it gets hard... when you really want to stop and say hello and find out what's going on, you have to dig a little deeper and tell her through ACTIONS, not empty words, that you are tougher and better then she gave you credit for. Zoo you have to start telling yourself that you are tougher and better then YOU give yourself credit for. You can not let a woman... any woman... or any man or anyone else define who you are. In others words you don't need to destroy yourself over a girl or a person. You make mistakes, you have emotions, you feel pain. So do I. So does everybody. What you go through is not unique so you don't have to be ashamed of it.

I also wanted to address something you stated about feeling alone. Take note, you have found a place where you may not know people in a traditional setting but it is a place where you are not alone and also gives you the opportunity to grow in a positive fashion.

I would say I am a little more emotional than the average male. And I too also put my ex on a very high pedestal. I tried to make my schedule around hers, and generally she had all the power in the relationship. Granted it was not all bad, and I would go back to her in a heartbeat today. But after reading other peoples threads, over time they learn to see that what they had wasn't so great. My friends have been there for me and I have been in contact with some that I haven't seen recently. Life will go on for all of us.

Pssh mine wouldn't contact me so I confronted her in person made everything and our situation 100 times worse now she wants nothing to do with me said in a year maybe shell call its destroying me but what can I do

I almost made the same mistake in the beginning of the break up blackmage.. After she dumped me on the phone I got up and got dressed and had the intention of walking around london to find where she was out.. hah.. I feel like such a loser now :P
Anyway, good thing I didn't go I probably would've still been looking.. I missed my dinner that night though :(

zooropa1985, chuff is right.. I totally relate to your position of "knowing whats to come in the future".. the loneliness and depression that's associated with losing someone you love.. Thats the second thing that hit me after I got dumped... The first was losing her.. the second was..
"..I know what happens next..I spend atleast the next year miserable, like what happened last time..".. Well with that sort of thinking then you probably will.. But I came to these forums, got some insight.. and I followed their advice.. By the third day I was going out to clubs and bars with my friends.. I came home and felt MISERABLE.. but those 4-5 hours I was with my friends I was a lot better.. By the second week I slept with a girl.. It was no strings attatched type.. Obviously I enjoyed it.. Next day my ex was STILL in my head.. But that was all right because that's how things go.. You're not going to wake up one day and be OK.. You just think about things less and less..
Last time I saw her was 2 months ago.
I haven't spoken to her in 36 days.
She still pops in my head on a daily basis.. but I don't cry now.. I haven't cried in a long time.. I just SIGH.. and I giggle to myself and think.. "why'd she have to screw it up?".. and I just shrug and stop thinking about it.

"..I know what happens next..I spend atleast the next year miserable, like what happened last time.."..Well with that sort of thinking then you probably will..

Exactly. Your brain will give you exactly what you expect. While you can not knock those feelings away quickly if you tell yourself you are going to be miserable for a period you brain will follow.


She still pops in my head on a daily basis..but I don't cry now..I haven't cried in a long time..I just SIGH..and I giggle to my self and think.."why'd she have to screw it up?"..and I just shrug and stop thinking about it.

Exactly. This is her loss. One of the things I love is working out because when I do that time is mine. What I do benefits me. Now I quit working out for awhile with her and because of work and now I've started back up again. When I am working out she has popped up and I can tell you that all I do is look in the mirror and smile or sometimes laugh because I think to myself "even you can't take this from me." Now working out may not be your thing but something is, something that defines just you and do that. Do that daily. Like Nick stated you will be laughing at her dumb and thinking "why'd she screw this up" in no time.

and its killing me, i woke up this morning with this awful feeling inside my stomach, i can't get rid of it.

All i can think about is her and its drivin me crazy. i just want to let her know how much she means to me, that although i didnt realise what i had at the time i sure do now and would give anything for a second chance.

i love her so much and its breaking my heart
Aw I know exactly how you feel... u wake up and your lying there and suddenly this horrible feeling comes over u, that they are gone:( I wish I could tell you something to make you feel better but all I can say is hope you both work it out!

SQUAT don't DROP guys and girls!

On a different note. Don't worry I will force you to keep NC with both of them zoo! I won't be on MSN for a while but do yourself a favour NC all the way. Until our next sesh, keep busy.

I think you should move onn... you knoww... she doesntt wantt you..
Yourr justt going to waste your timee gettinq her.. and its not even working?
I guess not.. soo movee on... and you'll find someone who will love you.. and who actually wantt 2 call you everydaiyy...

Just got a text from her there at 12.30am, asking if I was OK. I replied saying I was fine and just that I was outlast night with a friend. She replied asking where was I out but followed with this is just a "friend" text, so I simply replied Belfast. She sent me one back saying its good to see I was out with friends.

That was it, no begging or even asking about the relationship on my part and it feels good.

Should I have text her back though?

Nope.
I'm glad you felt better - Im assuming its not because you are hopeful though.
Don't you think you might have felt a lot better if you hadn't replied and she was going crazy wondering what you were doing and why you weren't replying?

Surely though there's no contact and then there's just being rude?

Yea but... I wouldn't classify it as ' being rude '.

You don't need to answer to her. She's just checking up on you, as a "friend". Keep her thinking, you want to move on, live your life. And in her case, even make it Look like your moving on, that life is fine without her.

I hate to be so forward but she wasn't exactly thinking of YOU when she was kissing some other guy.. You should be angry at her - not worried about being rude..
If you want to get over this obstacle you have to start being selfish.
I was somewhat "fortunate" in that my ex dumped me in a very cruel way and never apologized for it - so I didn't feel bad being "rude". But she approached me several times on "friendly terms" and I didn't reply.. The last thing I told her was "enjoy your night out" or something along the lines of that and then I just decided it was time to stop the charade..
There's no looking back if you decide to move on. Talking to her will only delay the process for you.

I agree with Nick, she didn't care about being rude to you and ending it did she? Or like he said, kissing another guy. As mean as it sounds, if you ever feel like you're being rude, think of another guy where you used to be. Holding her, kissing her and her smiling because of HIM not YOU. If that doesn't give you the kick in the a*s to not respond then I don't know what to tell you.

STOP talking to this broad. She's not worth it, if she texts you don't respond

At this point, you probably couldn't be rude enough...

surely though theres no contact and then theres just being rude?

RUDE? F her. You gave your time, your energy, and your heart to this beast of a woman and she repaid you back by dropping you and now as a "act of friendship" she texted you to see how you are doing. I hate this skank and I don't even live in Ireland. Screw her.

Rude by the way is doing what she did to you and then texting you to try and get back on your good side after all she's done. NC is exactly that. NO CONTACT!! This is for you not for her. IT IS TIME TO START THINKING ABOUT YOU!!

Lol I wanted to say that but I didn't want to be that direct :)

"The Cuffmeister" is right yet again

Sorry.. but it's good she did it because it made you realize what she means for you. Hung in there and wait for some few days and when you get the chance to see her once more; I'm sure you won't let go of her. Good luck!

Sorry ..but it's good she did it coz it made u realize what she means for you. Hung in there and wait for some few days and when you get teh chance to see her once more; I'm sure u won't let go of her. Good luck!

Your sure he won't let go of her?

That's exactly what he needs to do.

OK so its day 3 since she text me and I've not heard from her since.

Ive been thinking for the last few days and something has been bothering me and even people who I have talked to about it.

If she wanted to end it then why tell me about her kissing another guy? I mean was to to cause me pain? She texts me saying she loves me and wants me but that she's kissed someone else, I didn't reply at the time so she sent me another one saying she's shaking cause she's hurt me so much.

Sadly I said I would forgive her but the next day she was back to her BS ways, needing space, not wanting to see me.

The other thing that bugs me is she's kicked me to the kerb but she's happy to stay friendly with the guy she kissed. She blames me for all this and she's told me that.

Ive been betrayed twice now in the space of a year by two girls that said they "loved me". I just feel so dam used!

Use those feelings to motivate yourself to not talk to her. The longer you can go, the easier it becomes. Set a goal for yourself, then when you get there - double it.

The questions you are asking are common ones, we have all had them. You are best spent not worrying about these questions because in honesty, they don't really matter anymore.

So you've seen that being nice and forgiving to a girl who clearly doesn't deserve that sort of treatment. Perhaps you could consider the "rude" option that you disregarded earlier?
If anything this should make it an easier decision for you.. I'm sorry and I truly sympathize with you but can't you see the unnecessary pain she's putting you through? You don't have to go through it if you don't want.
If you analyze every word and every action that she's done pre-breakup and post-breakup - I GUARANTEE you will go insane. It's not worth it.
My ex was all over me a week before she was suddenly "confused about us" - what a joke.
Do what's best for you mate.

If she wanted to end it then why tell me about her kissing another guy? i mean was to to cause me pain? she texts me saying she loves me and wants me but that shes kissed someone else, i didnt reply at the time so she sent me another one saying shes shaking cause shes hurt me so much.

You are thinking logically. She think emotionally. You are learning first hand the difference between men and women... well one of them. She told you she kissed the other guy to cause you not only pain but confusion. Furthermore, should you get back together it's an easy way for her to break up with you again and throw it back in your face by saying, "What did you expect, I already told you I wouldn't wait around for you the first time when I kissed the other guy." She tells you she loves you so you don't run to far off. It's her way of controlling you through emotions. When you didn't respond to "I love you" she then goes in the opposite direction to get a reaction from you by saying she's "in pain" from missing you.


Sadly i said i would forgive her but the next day she was back to her BS ways, needing space, not wanting to see me.

Because she knows she has you. You caved in to her game by giving her forgiveness even after she told you she kissed someone else. You took the challenge from her and I believe I posted once in another post for some guy from Ireland, "Once the challenge is gone, so is she."


The other thing that bugs me is shes kicked me to the kerb but shes happy to stay friendly with the guy she kissed. She blames me for all this and shes told me that.

What a b*tch. This proves she's just playing games.


Ive been betrayed twice now in the space of a year by two girls that said they "loved me". i just feel so dam used!!

Well, I get what your saying but again I point out that you give so much of yourself that you save nothing for yourself. Again, the first person in a relationship is you, not her. They will use you if you let them, and you have given more then 50% for both of these relationships.

Your right on so many levels.

The truth is that I think I'm more angry now than anything else, yes I have moments where I miss her but then I think of what she did and it makes me hate her.

I guess once the anger dies down then so will all the feelings I have towards her.

By the way just want to say thanks to everyone who is there for me on this, means a lot

The challenge has gone! Check my sig for the familiar Zoo/Chuff experience.