I have a big problem. People who are less educated than me, those who don't work as hard as me, those who are not as devoted as me grow and make progress. But I always lag behind. This surprises not only me but to my friends and relatives too. Sometimes I even become a laughing stock or a person to ridicule at. I thought about it a lot and to my surprise I noticed that the big differece between me and others is that I don't take advantage of opportunities while others grab them without delay. When I thought more about it I came to know that it is not that I don't want to take the advantage of opportunities but the truth is that I don't notice them while others do. And after I loose the chance, sometime in future while thinking about the past events I realize there were more than one opportunities available for me but I noticed none of them. May be I had had a glimpse of them but soon my attention was diverted to something else and I totally forgot about them. I know right now there are some opportunities around me which can help me to change my life and improve my status. But when I look around I see nothing. Is it because of my faulty way of thinking or my faulty way of looking at things? And if so what is the fault in my thinking and how can I overcome it? I searched many websites and asked many of my friends and people around me. But no one could show me the root cause of my problem. I read some psychology books too but they didn't have the answer to my problem. Now I found this Help Desk. Hope someone will help me to solve this puzzle. Can you suggest a good book for me?

Hi, and welcome to the forum. Depending on your financial status, you might want to take some online courses to excel in either the current job status or look for something else you'd like to do.

Also, you need help in gaining a little self-confidence, and a good therapist can lead you in the right direction there.

Join some local Toastmaster Group or the like to gain confidence in communicating skills. This always helps in your future plans, no matter what goals you have.

If there is a personnel office at your current workplace, check there regularly for new positions and try for interviews. You can start by working on a resume and ask your friends to help you if you missed something.

Remember that you will be working for a long time in your life until retirement, so you need to find something that you will like to do instead of just filling in time and not enjoying it. One should always enjoy the rudiments of a job in order to put up and be proud of it for a long time.

No matter what your choice, I wish you a lot of luck and hope that I was able to give you a little help. Keep us posted.

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Seek and you shall find.

Thank you Chery,
My problem is not related to job or money or status. I don't know how I can explain it. For me it is more related to my mental growth. I always know that I could have done much better than others in many things because I have more courage than others around me. I take risks which others avoid. Therefore many times my employers assign me a risky work which others refuse to do. In fact I love challenges. And I don't care for money and position like other people. Is this the reason I get diverted while others progress steadily? Yes this is one of the reasons. But all the best leaders in world take challenges and fight for something. But they don't loose the track and they take advantage of every situation. They see opportunities in every situation and use it to their advantage. My problem is I don't see or locate opportunity in time, even when I decide to find one. Sometime in future I realize that "I could have done this or I could have done that." But the time is already gone. Always it is gone. Why? Can someone help me?

Your last post toward the end indicates procrastination. Maybe you have not found the right challenge to fully focus on yet. Check with a therapist about your 'restlessness' because you are still looking for something to fulfill you but get there late - so do something about that first. Get training to focus on priorities and set them goals. Set yourself a goal to get somewhere early, even if it's to get the newspaper. You need to give yourself that push. Again, Good Luck!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN) P.S. Have you heard of Covey Training? They assist the military and large corporations - sign up for a course with them if possible.

In relation to what Chery has already said, I think you may need more self-confidence and a more assertive attitude.

The Stephen Covey material is very good. I also recommend "The Psychology of Achievement" by Brian Tracy.

Before seeing a therapist, you might try some of these personal success courses and see how your line of thinking compares to these.

See the http://www.nightingale.com/ website for lots of this stuff.

Thank you Cherry and Phillysteakandcheese,
I think I am among the right people who can guide me to set and achieve my goals. Most of the time the people I talk to don't understand what I want. They tell me to pay attention to something else or to go for a movie and get rid of such thoughts. They tell me to pay attention to my work or study and not to bother much about such things. They believe strongly that one who works hard or studys hard will be successful automatically. But I always work beyond limits when I like that work. As for education I am more educated than many of them. However they have good jobs and hold positions of power. On the other hand I have a job even power to some extent. I changed several jobs. But no matter what job and position I hold, I always hate to work within time limits say from 9am to 5pm or so. I feel uneasy to sit at one place and do something, only because I am paid for it. It doesn't mean I hate the table work. No. When time needs I will sit at my table for 24 hours to complete something. But just to sit at one place for earnning salary irritates me. Mostly I prefer the jobs which involve Field Work so that I can leave office and go out to do something. It inspires me and I really enjoy my work. I expect my Boss to have trust on me and one who pokes his nose every now and then to guide me will soon shock by the way I openly insult him. No matter how Big Boss he is and what is his position. Some people tell me that I am not fit to become an employee. Rather I should start something of my own and be my own Boss. This idea really inspires me and I get charged soon. But the big problem is I can't see the opportunities. So whenever I tried to do something of my own I suffered loss. Then I get an advice that I am not suitable to do Business and I should take up a job. Why does it happen like that?

Dear indianfox, I know that restless feeling at a desk job, and my imagination used to wonder away at times. There are some people who just cannot adapt to a 'steady' sedentary position for a salary as you put it, but unfortunately with the world being 'micromanaged' these days, if you don't go along with the flow, then you get put out.

You are not the only one feeling this way in the world today, and it's hard on those folks that can't act like 'robots', but it's a necessary evil if we want to eat.

Try and talk to a therapist about this, there are certain medications that can help you get equilibrium enough to stay focused and function for those 'bosses'. Meanwhile you can still let your mind wonder off-duty and look for other possibilities that will give you satisfaction. Stop worrying about what other people say - they are struggling along in life just like the rest of us and just because they are calmer about it (sometimes even too lazy to take a chance) they think they are better than most.

We all have to find our own niche in life and I hope that you will check all possibilities to achieve yours.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_22_18.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZN)Don't give up, and choose your own path.