I am going through a really difficult time getting over my current break up. My ex and I discussed marriage, I met his family, he was suppose to meet mine this month. But after different circumstances, and a nasty situation that he has caused, he has completley broken my heart. This was not puppy love. Since the time this breakup started I have since broke out in a type of hives, shredded more weight which I really didn't need because I've already lost about 24 lbs from the deployment I just returned from, and I did the "out on a whim" hair cut girls do when they have just been traumatized. I haven't slept right for a month. I'm so tired my immune system is crashing. I can't seem to sleep, just cat nap when I go on shut down mode. I feel like a part of me has died inside, and the feeling doesn't go away... at all. Seriously, I have a void in my heart and it is such a tiring feeling to have. It is draining me, and I feel so weak. I'm fighting off some weird bug or something because I have a sore throat and I get chills, but I don't cough or sneeze or have a runny nose. I can't stop crying especially at night, and I'm holding in so much anger inside that I'm a total b*tch to him when I run into him (we work together). I try to ignore him mostly but once I get in my episode of hate because of everything he's done, and how this relationship turned out, that I'll end up saying something to be rude. I feel like he just threw my love away, like this never meant anything to him. I can't concentrate, eat, sleep, or function normal. All the meanwhile he's just fine. He eats normal, "cokes and jokes" (Navy term) with all his buddies every time I see him around, he just finished a board with the Chief Petty Officers for an ESWS Classification which is a difficult thing. I mean, wow, I guess me being gone has just made his life so much better. :mad: All the while my health has turned to crap and I can't get over this feeling no matter how hard I try. I have my moments where I can block it for a few hours and pretend to smile, and then something will remind me of him, or I'll see a place we went to together and things of that sort. I know all the things people have said to do, and I know what I need to do... walk away stronger and all those things. I'm just so unhappy, and so hurt I don't see it happening for a long time. I have never been this hurt. He was my best friend... how could he do this to me, just toss my love to the side and all because he just want to act like typical boy. The stunts he's pulled is unreal, I'm in total shock and I can't get over this. I thought our love was strong. What wrong with him? When will I feel better? When will he even appologize for making my life hell! Instead he tries to say it was all my fault! :confused: :(

I'm just so unhappy, and so hurt I don't see it happening for a long time. I have never been this hurt.
When we are so deeply involved in the lives of others, its such a great shock when those situations change. The best I can say is to rebuild your own life, as you gradually come to terms with the changes you're going through. It will be painful, and it will take time. Read some of the post here, and click on the links in my signature, for some good suggestions to help you through this difficult time, as we have all walked in your shoes. You are not alone in your pain.

You're not alone. I'm there too. Thought we were going to get married, thought we were forever (as he agreed to even up to a month before the breakup) and then suddenly, "poof" gone.

All you can do and the best thing you can do which is helping me is to just focus on yourself and keep NC (as much as possible in your situation). Don't focus on his feeling or what he's thinking. Its futile! Just keep the focus on yourself and your own life. And you'll be the one that comes out of this stronger and better for it. Don't let one guy hold you down.

If you need to vent, cry, come on here and write it out. Its liberating! After a while it'll get easier, it'll just be a roller coaster for a bit. The more you smile on the outside and the more you pretend you're okay to the outiside world, the more and more you'll actually start to believe you are okay.

Hello everyone. Just thought I'd check back in ad let you all know that everything finally worked out for the better. we are back together and closer than before. We continue to work on our relationship and together have grown immensely. I'm very happy to have him back, he is the love of my life. I know this will work for sure now. We've been through so much and continue to love eachother more everyday. We still argue about dumb things sometimes but we both work on bettering ourselves together to make eachother happy. I hope all will go well for everyone else as well. And thanks for the kinds words from everyone previously.