Hi,

As if lately I am having doubts or getting anxious. I am 25 and am looking to wait to have sex till I get married. Yet I face a lot of flack for it and it is frustrating at times.

Others have told me that I should have experience, otherwise I could end up being a big disappointment to my spouse and end up potentially losing her because I can't satisfy her sexually. I just don't know anymore.

Then I find myself being questioned by others to whether if I am gay. Which I know I am not, I want to be married someday and want to experience sex. It's tough, I wonder if I got into a deep meaningful relationship, if then if the moment came would I have sex with that person.

But even then I feel I should wait till I am married and I guess find myself hoping that whoever I marry will love me enough to be patient with me and that we could both keep a good line of communication and learn from one another together.

Any opinions or advice would be appreciated.

Thank you

Waiting to share sex with the one you have committed to, in marriage is not wrong. Not wrong at all! A patient wife, good communication will probably be all that is needed.

However, men have a lot to learn sexually, with the opposite sex. You can learn an incredible amount of it before you get married. Begin research on the female of the species. They are a bit like males, but not. Learn about yourself too. Read until your eyes are ready to fall out. Ask about things.

Personally, I shopped before I married. There were several "perfect" guys that I might have married. But having sex with them changed my mind. They thought that they knew all about female sexuality. I don't see you being a know it all. You are not a woman, how could you. LOL. There is so much to learn.

Waiting is not wrong ever, those that say you should not wait merely have already had sex and they don't want to admit they wish they could have waited.

And to a couple who love each other finding out about each other is what it is all about.

And to be honest women are not all the same, they will each have different needs, desires and react differently sexually, so you will have to learn the person you are with anyway. And for the women there is so much of the emotional needs which is as important in it, as the physcial

Dear Res.

Waiting to have sex is the best thing you can do for yourself and your future partner.

In fact, its also probably the healthiest thing you can do for yourself also.

I echo the above posters, stand fast to your principles.

I didn't wait, I could have. I freely admit it, and am not ashamed to do so. My behavior is not cause for shame. Waiting to have sex when you're married is not cause for shame, embarrassment, teasing or pride. It's simply a choice.

The attacks you're receiving should be seen for what they are... jealousy and frustration. Your friends (?) find your moral backbone unnerving and it undermines their free-love mentality. They come down on you in an attempt to make their own choices seem more right.

You can ignore ANYONE who ever holds their life choices up as an improvement over yours. Truly. Feel free to tweak their cheek and give them a "bless your heart" whenever they try that stuff.

"Bless your heart, I bet you really believe that, too."
"Well aren't you the confident one? Got any stock tips, too?"

Have fun with them, but never doubt your resolve when it reflects your values. Others won't share them, can't understand them, and thus have no authority to question them... "bless their hearts."

Follow your heart and wait. She will tell you what if anything you need to ''improve''
People put too much emphasis on 'experience' really I think it is just an excuse to justify it.
Besides when it is special with the one you love it has more meaning and value.
People always find something to criticize. You don't have to jump hoops for them.