workedtoohard
Apr 24, 2008, 05:34 PM
I have posted here before. But I have completely different questions. I dated a girl for 4 years. I was totally in love with her and she was never IN love with me (she lied to me). Anyway there was always drama. She was either picking a fight, dumping me for no reason, or cheating. When it was good, it was great. She is very beautiful and loved to go on vacation but we couldn't because of her mom. We would be apart for a little while, then we would somehow get back together. Anyway she told me she wanted to wait to have sex. Anyway she cheated on me and dumped me for a guy freshman year in college. We never got back together. Every year in college she would say we might get back together and then when I finally responded she would say "no". After one such "maybe we will get back together" date, she complained her boyfriend couldn't penetrate her (to take her virginity) and he didn't want to go on vacation with her! I was en obliterated. A year later she said he turned out to be gay and wanted me back (age 23). So I said I would just hang out with her. It turns out she was still with the same guy and they were moving in together and that she had lied because she "just wanted to see me". She called him behind my back, he showed up at the bar we were at, and she proceeded to explain how much better he was than me. Real demented! Why would someone do that to someone else! So freaken pointless. Anyway, 5.5 years later, I got a myspace message from her. I had completely forgotten her and all the drama. I talked to her and the same old love/hate feelings came back and told her to get lost. Anyway I am still feeling panicky about her giving her new boyfriend her virginity and screwing me over. I finally realize that seeing her again would be absolutely horrific and that I could never do it. Its been two months and I don't seem to be getting better. I was wondering what kind of medication you can get to help with the low level panic attacks. I wake up every day and I just can't get out of bed until its like 2:00. All I can picture is him having sex with her and me ALMOST winning her heart. When I get out of bed, I drink a bunch of cokes and read relationship stories that seem to calm me down. Then at night (if I am not working) I drink a bunch of beers. I also take class and am getting an A. I am moving back home where she lives for nursing school. The problem is she might contact me because she internet stalks me and I keep rehearsing how I am going to tell her off. When I move, I plan on going to the beach and have made new friends online. I just want to know of medication just in case when I move, I get worse. What does this girl get out of messing with me?