Kruzifixxion
Apr 22, 2008, 12:44 PM
Ok,I must admit first that I'm 25 and I'm not a big guy in the down there.I am at least 4 inch maybe a little bit more.So I lost my virginity with my recent girlfriend one day and I kind of faked the orgasm at first because I was getting nowhere.The good thing a week ago we had sex again and I must admit I did totally satisfy her a lot! She said I was amazing ,but I want to know why I can't seem to get to the point of orgasm.She was not a virgin when I met her she's experienced.I mean it feels good inside her but I have to work hard,but I still can't seem to. :(
I did masterbate when I was young and I sometimes still do, and I do get orgasm that way but why not while having actually sex?
Fr_Chuck
Apr 22, 2008, 01:39 PM
Do you just go soft ? Is there any discharge ?
Have you tried other positions, even minor changes can effect the feel.
At times if you masterbated too much you can make the feeling less.
How much foreplay do you both do, perhaps you need to get closer before.
kp2171
Apr 22, 2008, 01:43 PM
This is an adult forum, so anyone reading this who isn't intersted in simple graphic discussion, you are in the wrong place.
So...
Couple of things... glad you are able to please her. You are young, and sometimes issues with orgasm in younger men are tied to mental blocks. If you are nervous about your size, for ex, or if you are too focused on her and not yourself... if you've had experiences in the past that haven't been good, etc... the mind can throw all kinds of blocks in the way.
That said, a few things id like you to try. Lets deal with physical issues first.
One involves multiple stimuli, and you might need to direct her and ask for it. One useful technique is for the woman to fondle the mans testes during sex. Now... if in missionary position, this might mean she has to reach under herself a little to use her fingers to stim you by lightly grabbing, fingering, or scratching your guys. This is something I wouldn't have her do immediately... do it when you feel like things are flattening out and you need new sensations. Stim at "the guys" is a wild thing... walk into a corner of a table and you are doubled over in pain... get similar sensations during sex and your mind interprets the signals as pleasure. Likewise, fingerplay at your rear can stim some men as it can many women, but some men are also put off by this.
Also, other positions can change your feel and offer you other stimuli. For ex, one position that feels great for me is for the woman to be on her back, as if you were to enter her missionary. Instead of coming at her face to face, lay sideways, with one of her legs over your waist. You are essentially entering her either sideways, or even angled downward if you rotate your hips, as I do. This position allows for several things. You get a unique angle for your unit. She can more easily stimulate your testes, and you should ask her to do so, and you have unique angle to feel her breasts, even if its just with one hand. And the uniqueness of the position I think mentally stimulates you. Also... if she is interested, she could self stimulate herself in this position (if she hesitates, ask her to... a woman who self stimulates during intercourse isn't hinting that you are doing anything wrong... she is showing you how badly she wants to hit orgasm and she trusts you enough to let go) and might even be able to stim you at the same time.
Another favorite position of mine is one that can be more awkward for the woman, but it can be money in the bank for me. You lie with your back to the bed. She mounts you sitting up, with her back to you and she then lays back, with her back on your chest. Its best to angle her a little to the side and have a pillow or two for her to rest her head on. Your legs should be outside hers. Ask her to relax and not force movement. She should self stim if she wants to, as this position can hit her g spot, but won't give any cl!toral stimulation at all. Then you rock her up and down, toward your head and feet. By opening and squeezing your legs you can tighten pressure around your penis. Her rear will be perfectly cradled in your pelvis with perfect pressure. This opening and squeezing of your legs can really amp up pelvic stimulation lateral to your unit... again, trying to get multiple stimuli going. You have complete access to her waist, chest, neck. It gives you the pelvic sensation of coming from behind (like doggie style) without feeling like you might slip away, as her pressure is constant, and you have more access to her chest and neck that you would from behind in other positions. If she can turn her head, and it might not be easy, she can bite at your ear or use her tongue, which is again, a stimulation id hold out on until you need a push over the top. Personally, I rarely use this to get my partner off, though she has through manual stim... but it can be a good way to quickly get me over the top after I've pleased her first. If she tries to get off first while sitting up, reverse cowgirl, this might be a way for her to get satisfaction, and then lay back for you to finish.
Issues with this position are it can be awkward for her, as she's completely at your control, she needs a way to support her head by your shoulder, it doesn't hit her cl!toris at all, so its best to satisfy her first or for her to self stim, and it can be hard for her to crank her head to the side to bite at your ear. But as I said, it puts all the pressure in all the right places and you can't get better access to her neck, chest, ears, etc... and the stim at where the legs meet the pubic region can be intense if it hits right.
Also, a variation on the first one, woman on her side and you kneeling on the bed, straddling over one of her legs... again, unique angle, and one where if she self stims she can catch you a little with a finger, increasing sensations.
So those are some physical things. Don't neglect mental. Foreplay is normally aimed at the woman, but I think that's a mistake. Yes... proper foreplay is important, even needed, but make it about you too.
One of my "routine" things to do is to rub my partner down before sex. It relaxes her, sensitizes her skin. Lets her have the time she needs to mentally begin to lose herself. Then, normally ill do oral, then intercourse.
Now, if my partner is primed well, sometimes ill straddle her with her on the bed, back up. If you use a lotion (and you don't need to use a lotion for a relaxing massage), work it over her shoulders and back, down her waist, and over her rear. I find the motion of raising my body up and then down as my hands pass over her low to high is physically and mentally exciting, and you'll likely be hard with your unit pressed against her arse.
Point is, the skin is your biggest errogenous zone. Use as much as you can. Your mind is one of your most powerful errogenous zones. You need to find ways to prime yourself too and to build sexual tension.
For ex, in between working her shoulders, back, and rear with my hand and then performing oral on my partner, I like to turn 180, so my head is toward her feet, and my pelvis toward her head, but at her waist/ribcage level. I'm laying beside her, not on her. As I work my hands over her legs and toward her ankles and feet, the warmth of her upper body near my pelvis can again stimulate me mentally and physically. She might stim me some with her hand. She might use her mouth. When I roll her over for oral, I need to swing around again, leaving that stimulation... but it heightens the anticipation mentally and physically.
So I commonly say you need to get into her head before you get into her pants... meaning you need to prime her mentally, not just physically, for a good response, and usually in that order.. mental first, then physical reinforces it. Well... who is to say foreplay is only about the woman? Find things you can do that will prime you as well.
You can also drive her over the top. Then stop. Relax, and then try again in 10 minutes, this time thinking only about your pleasure and not hers. Do you think maybe you are holding back and that's desensitizing you? It happens.
There's a book I've recommended over and over here about stimulating women, especially orally called "she comes first" by ian kerner... he has a follow-up book called "he comes next"... I haven't read it, but I might need to look at it... if its half as good as the first book, it'll be worth the money. So I cannot offer it as a must read, but the idea of educating yourself about sex is always good. Massage, sensual touch... all good in my opinion.
If all else fails, you might want to talk to a counselor who specializes in sexual therapy... young men who have had problems with this can respond very well to talking things out. Therapy can sound like a pain in the arse. It isn't. Just something to think about.
Sometimes all you need is a "win" in bed and that has a cascading effect... making later "wins" more likely and easier to reach. You are still learning about how to stim your body and mind... and it isn't always as simple as "forward...reverse...repeat"...
Choux
Apr 24, 2008, 12:44 PM
I am reminded of Roseanne Barr's husband, Tom, who on the Conan O'Brien's show some years ago stated that he had a three inch penis and his wife gave him a hard time about it. Yeah, imagine hearing Roseanne Barr's voice berating a person for a physical attribute received genetically... I think he did a lot for men who have what is considered a small penis.
Penis' come in all sizes... that is reality.
Women come in all sizes... you would do very well with a *skinny one*. You would do well to be as thin as possible.
I'll just put in one suggestion... have anal sex with a condom and when you are about to come, whip it out and take off the condom and insert your penis vaginally... and continue stroking. That way you would get the feeling of coming in a vagina.
Kruzifixxion
Apr 25, 2008, 04:55 PM
Thanks for your wonderful answers my friends,and it helped a lot! I finally did like 3 times in one day with her :D .The thing about it it's easy I was more concerned of my size and about pleasing her,so I took your advice.I concentrated on my orgasm and it worked! I am so happy ans she is too! I want to thank you all.Especialy you kp2171,Thank you so much.