View Full Version : No Emotion
anubis666
Apr 17, 2008, 08:49 PM
I was wondering if anyone here either has this condition or has heard of anything similar and might be interested.
But for as long as I can remember, I don't know how and I don't know why, but I do not feel anything emotionally. Its not specific to good or bad emotions, it really is something I've never heard of. I do feel physical aspects of course, for instance pain. But inside it's as if I'm hollow, and I'm not blocking it out - its just not there. Im not looking for a solution or sympathy, because of course neither are applicable or deserved... what I'm looking for is a name to attach - or perhaps to speak with someone who's experienced something similar.
I've been told many times in my life, by friends, that when they look into my eyes they see nothing - that I've just developed a vacant stare... which I've been told is quite unnerving. I don't wish to tell anyone I know that I feel nothing - because I think it would change the way they felt about me, as knowing I can't return their friendship would make them think that they are not getting anything out of the relationship, which they are - more so than any relationship they have. I'll explain...
I don't know if this issue is separate, or somehow connected - but I have some strange ability to see what people are feeling, instantaneously, just by looking at them. In most cases I can tell what they are thinking. Not in a psychic sense, but as if the fact that I have no emotion inside, can detect the emotions that others are feeling.
Anyway I've said more than enough, if anybodys interested - leave me a comment.
Thanks.
Wondergirl
Apr 17, 2008, 09:08 PM
It sounds like you'd be a good counselor--emtionally detached from the other but very empathetic.
anubis666
Apr 17, 2008, 09:16 PM
I guess your right, that would be a good career choice - but is this the first you've heard of this? Am I like this for any reason? Any feedback at all would be appreciated.
Wondergirl
Apr 17, 2008, 09:18 PM
Your cultural heritage and your family environment both may have caused you to be this way. Tell me more about either of those, if you wish.
Is this a problem? Are you concerned for some reason?
anubis666
Apr 17, 2008, 09:27 PM
No no I do not ask out of concern, merely curiosity... Im still at a young age and my background doesn't suggest a reason to why I am this way. I am from Britain, born in London and live in Scotland. My mother is Scottish, my father - English... and I have a brother. No family problems what-so-ever, my parents have always pushed me to be all I can be. But I also can't define an event in my life that has caused this, so I'm decidedly perplexed. I've only ever seen evidence of one other person who seems to have a similar case, and his name is Richard Kuklinski, are you familiar?
oneguyinohio
Apr 17, 2008, 09:34 PM
You said your parents pushed you to be your best. How did you feel with them? Loved? Or just pushed? What type of attachments with them did you experience? Was it the stiff upper lip and very little affection environment?
Wondergirl
Apr 17, 2008, 09:35 PM
No, I don't know Richard.
I'm 100% German and am pretty much the same way you are. I knew my parents loved me and supported my endeavors, but they were not huggy-kissy types.
I would take these traits and look at them as positives. Consider how they can be to your advantage as you go through life meeting people, making new friends, working at various jobs, etc. Do you already see (or have you already experienced) advantages?
anubis666
Apr 17, 2008, 09:40 PM
I see the advantages, the main one being the ability I have to help people... because I can see what they're feeling, so in turn know what they need in return. I can tell just by looking at someone exactly what they need to hear from me.
But with the advantages come the disadvantages, I don't think I could ever have a lasting relationship, or at least it wouldn't be fair to do so. I don't have the capacity to love... or feel the need to be loved - and for someone to give their life to me for that, isn't really worth it for them. As for children, that does not bother me - for years I knew I did not want children, and that with my situation I can leave a different kind of legacy.
anubis666
Apr 17, 2008, 09:56 PM
But going back to Richard Kuklinski, I'll give you a rough outline. He is a brutal, brutal man. He was a contract-killer for the mob, and in his 30-40 year career he murdered over 200 people... self-admitted. He killed many of the 200 for himself, and not the mob - just because someone looked at him wrongly, or he felt like doing it, as he would say. There are many videos and documentaries on him, because since his arrest... until his death he was very open about his killings, almost proud of the multiple ways in which he ended lives. And I liken him to me, and now that you admit yourself, is because he said on many occasions... he felt nothing. But his background, abusive father etc... caused him to turn down a dark path. But when I looked into this mans eyes, was the first time in my life I could never peg someone straight away... and it really shocked me - how we could be so alike, but completely different. Because I probably could kill without remorse, for no reason, without a second thought - but I know for a fact I never would, because I have no reason too, and I know that nobody could ever invoke a reaction that big from me - or any reaction at all for that matter... I lost everything inside, but ultimately... I became stronger for it.
Wondergirl
Apr 17, 2008, 10:29 PM
Richard Kuklinski was a sociopath. You and I aren't. Tell me the difference.
anubis666
Apr 17, 2008, 10:34 PM
Yeah he is a sociopath... but I can see the similarity, and of course I can see the difference. The similarity between us being that we feel nothing - and that man felt nothing - he had some severe issues to boot, but when you look into his eyes, its like nothing I've ever seen before, and that must be the way I look, and id anticipate you yourself look, no disrespect intended, just a judgement call.
Wondergirl
Apr 17, 2008, 10:44 PM
No, I don't have "dead eyes".
"Feeling nothing" is not the same as being detached. I wonder if you are confusing the two.
anubis666
Apr 17, 2008, 10:47 PM
Im not confusing the two, as I said from the start I feel nothing... and is that not what you have too? Because I know that my eyes look cold and blank - because that's what nothingness is dead, empty space - that's what I see in kuklinski
Wondergirl
Apr 17, 2008, 10:50 PM
But you're not a sociopath.
oneguyinohio
Apr 17, 2008, 10:50 PM
Sometimes, it is just easier, not to deal with emotions. You don't have to worry about getting your feelings hurt if you shut yourself off to the world. (Such as when you are ignored and made to feel unimportant.)
If a person experiences enough of that type of treatment, it becomes easier not to risk the pain of opening themselves up for further rejection or lack of acknowledgement as to their thoughts.
Wondergirl
Apr 17, 2008, 10:53 PM
Why would people treat you that way, that you have to shut yourself off?
anubis666
Apr 17, 2008, 10:56 PM
No no, I did state in a previous post that I'm not blocking anything out... and no event in my life has caused me to be this way - for as long as I remember I feel nothing... not the good - nor the bad... im empty inside and I don't feel as if I'm missing something - I was not looking for a solution... I just thought someone might have an insight as to why this happens... its nothing to do with my home life, my background, my race or my friendships... my feelings - just aren't there, I don't know why, and to be honest I don't really care anymore - I appreciate people taking the time to try and answer my original question, but I've realised there can't be anybody like me - because I can't relate to anyway... I have nothing TO relate... thanks for you time :)
Wondergirl
Apr 17, 2008, 11:05 PM
there can't be anybody like me
You realize that statement is very suspect in and of itself.
anubis666
Apr 17, 2008, 11:07 PM
I do not realise, do you care to enlighten me?
Wondergirl
Apr 17, 2008, 11:12 PM
If I said that to you about me, or if you heard a friend say that about himself (or if you don't believe you have friends, if a stranger said that about himself), what would you think?
anubis666
Apr 17, 2008, 11:17 PM
Well that's hard to interpret, since I've never met anybody like me, everybodys unique in their own way, so nobody is alike in that respect... what I don't feel isn't a good thing, nor is it a bad thing - so it can't be a god complex, and I don't experience other symptoms so it isn't paranoia... so in all honesty I can't figure out what your trying to say
Choux
Apr 18, 2008, 11:10 AM
My opinion:
I think that you have developed a fear of your own emotions from way back in your personal history. You have totally repressed all your emotions.
At this point, you are a cypher. That is a way of participating in the rich emotional life of humanity without experiencing any highs or lows of emotional passion yourself.
You can make small breakthroughs to emotion if you wish, in my opinion... if you want to fill out your humanity.
Good luck in 2008 :)
Choux
Apr 18, 2008, 11:21 AM
I want to add that your thoughts of this sociopath are an indication of your anger trying to express itself in a "logical" manner. I think perhaps down deep you are worried that you are going to "blow".
NOTE: None of my comments relate to Wondergirl.
tomterm8
Apr 18, 2008, 02:04 PM
It actually sounds much more like a case of clinical drepression to me, rather than being a sociopath. Lots of the visual distortions sound very like what other people with clinical depression can suffer.
I would advise going to a doctor, and having a full physical investigation first.
Illusion
Apr 18, 2008, 03:37 PM
I am not sure that your assessment of serial killers is an accurate one. And I find it difficult to believe that you would feel good about yourself and feel that somehow you are "like" some serial killer because "he had no emotion". I am not sure that you understand why people write that serial killers have no emotion - really meaning that they have no empathy for another person - not that they have no emotion.
Despite what you read in the newspaper, serial killers would have to be extremely emotional about what they feel and believe in order to destroy someone - usually they are men with strong sexual feelings who have maladjusted and warped ideas about not only sexuality but about human beings and life in general. There is a tremendous contradiction between what they feel and what they believe - and therefore frustration and limitation in their own power to live a normal life. This is a person that has no options and cannot relate in a healthy way to other human beings and situations. And they have no internal control to stop them from being as cruel as they can be. It truly is a disaster of a person who lives in bondage and limitation - and failure as a human being.
My concern for you is why you would want to associate yourself with something that has a purpose to destroy - this identity of purpose that is useless and harmful to you and other people. I mean you are associating yourself with pain, suffering, and destruction and that is my concern. This man you mention is a total failure of a man and for you to think that somehow you are "like" him because you have no emotion - is to associate yourself with a useless life - a total failure of a life.
And this is really unfair to you as a young person who is growing up and is a part of this world.
There is no doubt in my mind that these men suffer - terrible injustice and horrible suffering because their parents could not give them what they needed emotionally - but this is no excuse for taking a human life.
The day will come when people will realize that we all have feelings and thoughts and that it is really all right to be alive. You are not different as you say - you are human and one of us and while you may not be having emotional experiences that are making you feel alive right now - you must not be discouraged. What you describe is really more about unhappiness - no emotion, no reaction. I agree with those here that mention that you may have cut yourself off from your emotions - because maybe it is all too painful and you need to be safe. I've had to do that - we have all had to do that.
I am sorry to be so blunt - but you need a new recognition, a new way of looking at yourself and your life. One that is real and positive and alive - that acknowledges you the person, you the young person, you the one who wants to connect, to achieve good things and good desires and be with other people - one who is free and limitless in all he can be.
Some people are just more cognitive than other people - and that is all right. Some of us are more emotional - and that is all right also. Can you accept yourself as just yourself without any worry that you are not all right - align yourself with your goodness and true spirit. Write back and say how you are doing. Bless you.
N0help4u
Apr 18, 2008, 07:23 PM
As long as you are not out to harm anybody, (I am pretty sure THAT is called sociopath,) you should be okay. I have had to hold a lot of emotion in much of my life and feel pretty much the same way. I am sure that being pushed hard and stress often causes a lot of this.
Turasleon
Apr 21, 2008, 11:16 AM
I was wondering if anyone here either has this condition or has heard of anything similar and might be interested.
But for as long as I can remember, I dont know how and I dont know why, but i do not feel anything emotionally. Its not specific to good or bad emotions, it really is something iv never heard of. I do feel physical aspects of course, for instance pain. But inside it's as if im hollow, and im not blocking it out - its just not there. Im not looking for a solution or sympathy, because of course neither are applicable or deserved...what im looking for is a name to attach - or perhaps to speak with someone who's experienced something similar.
Iv been told many times in my life, by friends, that when they look into my eyes they see nothing - that iv just developed a vacant stare....which iv been told is quite unnerving. I dont wish to tell anyone I know that I feel nothing - because I think it would change the way they felt about me, as knowing i can't return their friendship would make them think that they are not getting anything out of the relationship, which they are - more so than any relationship they have. I'll explain...
I dont know if this issue is seperate, or somehow connected - but I have some strange ability to see what people are feeling, instantaneously, just by looking at them. In most cases I can tell what they are thinking. Not in a psychic sense, but as if the fact that i have no emotion inside, can detect the emotions that others are feeling.
Anyway iv said more than enough, if anybodys interested - leave me a comment.
Thanks.
You may think I'm insane for asking, but what is your birthday? You may think I'm a bit off just by asking this question, but it may cause me to give better insight than you think.
I'm interested in figuring out the situation. I've been doing my best to learn, and understand, how and why people think how they think, do what they do, and feel how they feel, and just to give my own personal insight and understanding.
pleasehelpme101
Apr 22, 2008, 06:22 PM
OK understand this you might be hollow but its not a bad thing that's who you are maby its who you were meant to be I thingk that you should help people be a counselor help anyone you can even people on this site there are a lot of people who need help and I feel that you have the ability to help them. I used to have the same problem I used to be hollow and I didn't feel anything and well I started helping people and as I saw how people feel it was pretty much monkey see monkey do I helped people and it also helped me so yeah just be your own person be all that you can be and things will get better for you I will pray for you and I give you my best wishes hang in there OK!
anubis666
Apr 23, 2008, 05:48 AM
OK I've left this a while and a lot of crazy posts have come in. I have not repressed any emotions, of that I'm sure - I never believed I was a sociopath nor felt a complete likeness to a serial killer - just the way that they don't feel bad about doing that kind of stuff, regardless of what I do I don't feel good or bad emotions. I'm not in a state of depression - I'm actually rather content with my life, I just prefer seclusion, to be alone with my thoughts - I want to just disappear, to not be known by anyone and for no-one to truly know me... its what I want - I don't think I need help or a solution all this original post was for is to see if there's anyone like me... see how they live their life - I've satisfied that curiosity thanks all
Trigger76
May 27, 2008, 01:02 AM
This numb feeling is actually a sign of depression. But it could actually have a medical root to it. Hormones possibly. Hard to say without knowing more about you, but don't feel (ha-ha!) alone. Basically, a lot of times I feel this way too. But I feel anger, and triumph, and empathy, and hopeful in between those times.
But if there is a sense of "overload" that there is just too much to process, I tend to just feel nothing. I don't care about what happens to me. I can see other peoples' emotions very clearly also. (And BTW, if you ever start to legitimately think you can hear people's thoughts or hear other voices, you have a serious problem and need to see a professional right away. You wouldn't be the first person to have it, and they will give you some medication to help the voices stop. But this does not sound like your issue.) I would tell you to seek a councelor or psychologist, but I find them useless. Do try to talk to someone.
tomterm8
May 27, 2008, 07:57 AM
Some people may misunderstand the meaning of the term sociopath. The term sociopath means that someone feels no emotions. The negative connotations are because someone who feels no emotions, by definition, does not feel guilt, shame, sympathy, or pangs of conscience. So, if what you say is true, you are a sociopath by definition. Inside the Mind of a Sociopath (http://www.cix.co.uk/~klockstone/spath.htm) . Roughly 4% of the population are sociopaths.
Nevertheless, your reaction on April 23rd suggests to me that you do, in fact, feel emotions (you were showing signs of anger) which suggests to me that you are merely not good at associating emotions with words, OR that you are depressed.
Systematicvoid
Jun 2, 2008, 01:56 AM
which iv been told is quite unnerving. I dont wish to tell anyone I know that I feel nothing - because I think it would change the way they felt about me, as knowing i can't return their friendship would make them think that they are not getting anything out of the relationship, which they are - more so than any relationship they have. I'll explain...
The fact that you care about their thoughts, opinions and losing them shows that you have feelings, you're either denying them for whatever reason or just simply faking it. Not to mention the fact that you are worried about these things.
Stop biting off those who truly have nothing inside, this seems more like a quote or knockoff from something else.
There are those who really feel nothing, those who can care less if their best friend leaves them, their parents die or worse. Those are true Narcissistic sociopaths, or in other words, people who are truly free from the limitations and retainment of traditional society.
Accept this and move on.
hannah_banana91
Jun 10, 2008, 10:03 PM
I was wondering if anyone here either has this condition or has heard of anything similar and might be interested.
But for as long as I can remember, I dont know how and I dont know why, but i do not feel anything emotionally. Its not specific to good or bad emotions, it really is something iv never heard of. I do feel physical aspects of course, for instance pain. But inside it's as if im hollow, and im not blocking it out - its just not there. Im not looking for a solution or sympathy, because of course neither are applicable or deserved...what im looking for is a name to attach - or perhaps to speak with someone who's experienced something similar.
Iv been told many times in my life, by friends, that when they look into my eyes they see nothing - that iv just developed a vacant stare....which iv been told is quite unnerving. I dont wish to tell anyone I know that I feel nothing - because I think it would change the way they felt about me, as knowing i can't return their friendship would make them think that they are not getting anything out of the relationship, which they are - more so than any relationship they have. I'll explain...
I dont know if this issue is seperate, or somehow connected - but I have some strange ability to see what people are feeling, instantaneously, just by looking at them. In most cases I can tell what they are thinking. Not in a psychic sense, but as if the fact that i have no emotion inside, can detect the emotions that others are feeling.
Anyway iv said more than enough, if anybodys interested - leave me a comment.
Thanks.
I've had the same thing. Email me
[email protected] and I'll explain some interesting secrets of what I've learned to be... reasons for this... lack of feeling emotionally
tiamokiss
Jun 10, 2008, 10:56 PM
I was wondering if anyone here either has this condition or has heard of anything similar and might be interested.
But for as long as I can remember, I dont know how and I dont know why, but i do not feel anything emotionally. Its not specific to good or bad emotions, it really is something iv never heard of. I do feel physical aspects of course, for instance pain. But inside it's as if im hollow, and im not blocking it out - its just not there. Im not looking for a solution or sympathy, because of course neither are applicable or deserved...what im looking for is a name to attach - or perhaps to speak with someone who's experienced something similar.
Iv been told many times in my life, by friends, that when they look into my eyes they see nothing - that iv just developed a vacant stare....which iv been told is quite unnerving. I dont wish to tell anyone I know that I feel nothing - because I think it would change the way they felt about me, as knowing i can't return their friendship would make them think that they are not getting anything out of the relationship, which they are - more so than any relationship they have. I'll explain...
I dont know if this issue is seperate, or somehow connected - but I have some strange ability to see what people are feeling, instantaneously, just by looking at them. In most cases I can tell what they are thinking. Not in a psychic sense, but as if the fact that i have no emotion inside, can detect the emotions that others are feeling.
Anyway iv said more than enough, if anybodys interested - leave me a comment.
Thanks.
Oh dear, yeah I know what your talking about, but don't you think that by leaving this message is somekind of an emotional thing to do :) ?