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Krissy151
Apr 16, 2008, 08:38 AM
Hi Everyone:
I'm Krissy and I'm 52 with a 7 year old son. I'm menopausal and my moods are very erratic. I lose my temper so quickly with him and I don't know what to do. A fine example is my son was playing outside after school on a school night. I waited to have dinner a little later so he could play. I called him in for dinner and he said he was going out to play after dinner and I told him no, not on a school night........well, he flew into a huge temper tantrum (I know he gets it from me), threw his dinner against the wall and yelled at me until his face was bright red telling me how much he hated me and he wished that me and daddy would get divorced so he could live with daddy. Then my adrealine kicked in and I yelled back and then packed a bag and left. That was Monday night and it's now Wednesday morning and I haven't been home. Maybe they're all better without me.

startover22
Apr 16, 2008, 10:27 AM
Krissy, have you gotten any help from your doctor? This is one of the hardest things us women have to go through, so I want you to see a doctor so he can get you on the right track. Depending on your insurance, you can also check out some of these home herbal remedies.Herbal Menopause Treatment Alternatives (http://ezinearticles.com/?Herbal-Menopause-Treatment-Alternatives&id=565609)

A 7 year old should not be allowed to do what he did. He can be mad about not being able to go back outside, but he took it way too far. He has to be angry about something.
Why did you leave, where was your husband, and have you talked to them since you left? Things are not better without MOM, they just aren't you need to work this out, that is your house, remember? You just let him have complete control. 7 year olds can say mean things and never ever mean them. I really would like to know what is going on now, have you talked to your husband? Does your 7 year old detect a divorce coming on? No anger management. just a more stable family environment will help I think!

Krissy151
Apr 16, 2008, 10:35 AM
I have talked to my husband and he told me that he's going to try and be more structured with him. My husband stays at home with our son but when it comes to confrontations, he's the worst. I left because I was soooooo angry and sad that I needed to just get away from the situation. My husband and I respect each other but I don't believe there's any love there. I don't think divorce is in either one of our minds. All of my son's friends have divorced parents. I guess that's the norm nowadays and having a 2 parent family is too stressful on a kid. Our fault, he's spoiled but I just don't know what to do about his temper and disrespect. It's truly embarrassing, especially when a 20 year old mom has her kid under control and a 52 year old mom's kid is totally without control. We're there for him but I just don't know what to do.

startover22
Apr 16, 2008, 10:45 AM
You give him consequences for the wrongs and you give him encouragement for the rights.
Krissy as a grown woman, and with the help of your husband, you can do this. You must, you can love him and give him things, but sometimes we take it too far don't we? I know I do, so you aren't the only one out there feeling this way. You need a break every once in a while, I really wish you could have taken in in a better situation, leaving angry is not the way to go!
Let's take it one step at a time.
Number one, he needs to know who is boss. A family meeting may do the trick, sit him down with all of you at the table. Don't go about it with blame, just go about it like, Son, here are the new and old rules of the house, if you cannot follow them, here are the consiquences. Tell him 2 full days with good behavior, results in a game night, two more days result in a game night and dessert. Do you see where I am going with this? The better it gets, the better he is the happier you all will be. Give lot's of encouragement, you can also let him be upset, that is normal, and tell him, "hey I know you are upset, but this has to be my final answer, and I am not going to change my mind"
This means you will have to work harder, and be a bit more busy, but it is well worth it. I come to find out recently that is pays off sooner than I thought it ever would! Hugs Krissy, anytime you want to vent here, then do it. Talking about it helps a lot, and there are many great people here to give even more advise.

Krissy151
Apr 16, 2008, 11:00 AM
THANK YOU. I can try. I worry about my own anger too. Realistically, I guess I never thought raising a kid was so hard. With all of this, I believe I will have a short life. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, it's just what I need.

startover22
Apr 16, 2008, 11:06 AM
Oh geeze, Krissy, you are going to make it. If I can you can. Believe me with that one OK?
You are going through a bunchof different things here, you have your husband, your son, other family, friends, work, a house, sheesh, menopause without all of that stuff is hard!
Don't try Krissy, DO IT!! I seem to notice that when we say things out loud like I am going to do it, we often do. But if we say things like I am going to try, then we set it aside like it wasn't even a possibility:):):)
So Krissy, let me hear you, I want you to say I AM GOING TO DO THIS!
For the sanity of you and others around you and for that little boy just turning new corners, it will be a life saver, I promise! :) Hugs Krissy, and sorry I have gone on and on, I felt a connection here and couldn't let it go!

Krissy151
Apr 16, 2008, 11:39 AM
I truly appreciate your connection and you're right about all the other things. THANK YOU AGAIN

startover22
Apr 16, 2008, 11:42 AM
You are very welcome! ;)