My friends son is biting,pinching,scratching,hitting,punching,pushin g,pulling his sister and my son now my son knows its wrong to do these things and won't protect himself in anyway against him I can't stop my son from socialising with him because him and his sister are the only children he gets to play with so I thought id ask you lot for help on how his mum and I can stop this

I've told her to stop the fizzy drinks,crisp,biscuits,sweets etc to see if its them
She's smacked his bum and its not working
He won't stand in the corner
If he gets told off he just goes and does something else just as bad as what he was told off for
He has loads of toys and a garden to play in
He can't go 5 minutes with out hurting either his sister or my son
I even thought he could be bored but he has loads of things to do in my house and hers

Now he loves my youngest he strokes his head and if his dummy falls out he puts it back he gives him his bottle and puts the blanket on him and talks to him and holds his hand he won't hurt him [we don't understand why]

We have to stop this before something really bad happens and before he goes to school or they will kick him out because of his bad behaviour

I said to take him to the doctors because on his dads side there is some mental issues but his dad is OK but his dads brothers and cousins and other family members have mental issues and I thought it could be possible it could be ADD or ADHD

He gets a lot of attention from his parents and it is a very loving home,he was fine till about 5months ago he's nearly 3 and getting worse as the days go by

She needs help with him he's getting to be very bad,spitefull,cant concentrate on anything at all gets destracted very easy,won't let people play with him or toys even when they arnt his

Please help so I can help her I don't know what else to do other than what I have written hear

I would start by talking with his mom and suggesting that he does not play with your son for a few days. Have her tell him he is not allowed to play until he can do so without the bad behavior. Maybe his feeling like he lost a friend will get him to stop. Then I think I would wait until he seriously missed playing with your son and promised to stop.

One thing you fail to mention, unless I missed it, is how old is he? Or both of them?

Well we did stop him and his sister from coming in for 2weeks because I was not well and he still does it at home so its not really stopping the problem

Her son is nearly 3,his sister is 5 and my eldest is 2 and my youngest is 6 months

Which one is the main culprit?

Her son who is nearly 3

I also thought it could be a jealousy thing or an age thing

Two year olds often do bite, hit, scratch and pinch. It is a phase they go through but it does need discouraged. Hopefully something will sink in soon and he quits.

Okay, then, and it's easier said than done... You have to separate them. She is not going to do what you "tell" her to do... all of us mothers think our children are angels.

Unfortunately, you will just have to keep your children and her children apart if you don't want your kids to learn this behavior. If it were a daycare situation, I would have different advice, but since the two of you are friends you are going to have to discuss this with her, let her know that you do not want your children to be influenced by this behavior. If she cannot control it, then the kids CAN'T play together. Period.

She understands this is abig problem and its worse than just the normal 2 or 3 year olds pinching biting etc its like he enjoys doing it or he can't stop himself from doing it
My son is no angel and she has told me more than a few times that he is no angel she can't cope with him this any more this is why I'm asking for your help he does these things to his sister also its not just my eldest she can't keep him away from his sister this needs to be stopped at home also, he won't listen to her or do as he is told he won't listen to his dad either
He won't let her go out he won't stay with anybody his dad,grandparents,uncles me nobody except her

She is really upset about this and as afriend I'm trying to help her

Well to be honest the mother or father needs a couple of swats to the rear end, normally a good way to get their attention *** if all other things such as taking toys away, time outs, and other punishments have not worked.

*** this is assuming there has been punishments given right when it happens.

Yeah all punnishments are given as soon as it happens
I've even shouted at him and I never have before

No one seems to be getting that we are trying to stop this in my house and in my friends house [his poor sister is putting up with this everyday]

If the kids fight over atoy in my house that's it I take that toy away it goes in the press [cupboard] and doesn't come out until they have gone home the same goes in her house we practically have the same rules

As my kids were growing up, there were some kids that we would not allow back over. Sometimes one has to do things for the protection of their own kids, even if it is hard