Yours To Forget
Apr 13, 2008, 04:39 PM
I've been feeling down for a long time now, and I think it's getting to the point where I need to talk to someone about it. If not to a person, then maybe a chat room or blog site is a good place to start... I figured I would begin with something small... a dream I had the other night that I haven't been able to shake, see what (if any) responses I get, and go from there.
The dream started with me meeting someone I knew to be a great uncle or a grandfather type figure, not someone I knew in real life, but that was just the relationship I felt in the dream. Except, when I looked at him he transformed. He was about 24, gorgeous, and had completely different facial features then anyone I know. When I commented on his good looks, he replied that it was his new clothes (something rich and Italian) that completely altered his appearance. So we got in the back of a limo that had a driver and headed down some country roads. We were talking for a while about anything random and I was feeling very attracted to him when suddenly he made a majorly inappropriate comment about how large his penis was. When he moved on top of me I realized we were going to have sex, but I suddenly felt strange and tired and he told me that he had drugged me. In the dream I was aware that I had passed out and that he was going to take advantage of me. However, when I woke up, I was on top of him, pinning him down and almost strangling him. We were still driving in the limo and I could see the driver watching me from the rear-view mirror, we made eye contact and he made some casual comment about me almost being rapped and asked if I need any help, while still driving along. I ignored him and then when I looked back down at the guy I had pinned I saw him reaching for his pocket, in real slow motion, and I was aware that he was grabbing for the knife he had. I watched him reach for it, I knew I could stop him, I knew if he got it he was going to to hurt me, and I didn't stop him. I just let him reach for it.
I wish I could tell you what happened next, but that's when I awoke.
Everything was so real and detailed and I haven't been able to stop going over it, so if you have any thoughts about what it means or how to shake it, well... that would be great.
The dream started with me meeting someone I knew to be a great uncle or a grandfather type figure, not someone I knew in real life, but that was just the relationship I felt in the dream. Except, when I looked at him he transformed. He was about 24, gorgeous, and had completely different facial features then anyone I know. When I commented on his good looks, he replied that it was his new clothes (something rich and Italian) that completely altered his appearance. So we got in the back of a limo that had a driver and headed down some country roads. We were talking for a while about anything random and I was feeling very attracted to him when suddenly he made a majorly inappropriate comment about how large his penis was. When he moved on top of me I realized we were going to have sex, but I suddenly felt strange and tired and he told me that he had drugged me. In the dream I was aware that I had passed out and that he was going to take advantage of me. However, when I woke up, I was on top of him, pinning him down and almost strangling him. We were still driving in the limo and I could see the driver watching me from the rear-view mirror, we made eye contact and he made some casual comment about me almost being rapped and asked if I need any help, while still driving along. I ignored him and then when I looked back down at the guy I had pinned I saw him reaching for his pocket, in real slow motion, and I was aware that he was grabbing for the knife he had. I watched him reach for it, I knew I could stop him, I knew if he got it he was going to to hurt me, and I didn't stop him. I just let him reach for it.
I wish I could tell you what happened next, but that's when I awoke.
Everything was so real and detailed and I haven't been able to stop going over it, so if you have any thoughts about what it means or how to shake it, well... that would be great.