OK so me and my ex boyfriend broke up at the end of July. I definitely hadn't fallen in love with him, but I liked him a lot.
It wasn't a bad breakup per se but then I found out I was pregnant.

Without getting into I did not have the baby and was rather messed up about it. He and I saw each other again and the sparks were still there and then I decided I couldn't handle anything because of the loss of the baby and decided to move across the country.
But before I moved he and I started seeing each other again, spending time together and having sex, being close, etc...
I realized I had fallen in love with him (never told him!) but felt that I couldn't change my life plans just for a guy. Which basically means I was being the same stubborn closed book I've always been.
The last night before I left he lamented my departure and asked me if I could come home for new years.

After the first month I knew I had made a huge mistake, I missed him more and more everyday and was going to move back. Then I found out he had a new girlfriend! Like a month and half after that they broke up but I had already decided to stay out west.
Long story short I did move back a week ago and we went out on a date thing, it was sparks everywhere, we laughed, gazed, he kissed me and I thought the whole city felt the earthquake! He bought me roses and we went back to his place and slept together a bunch of times (I know, I know... my mom thinks it was a huge mistake), slept all intertwined and snuggly and it felt exactly how it used to.

But he hasn't called me since. He talked to me on gmail and said he was sorry he didn't return my call from the previous night and that he was going to a concert later but would "talk to me soon".
When we first met he had zero problem calling me a bunch of times a day until he got a hold of me. He made it clear he was interested so I can't help but feel that opposite behavior means opposite feelings.


With all that said, I guess my question is what do I do now?
I like, cry. A lot. And I've been so happy! I was in the most positive frame of mind of my whole life when I moved home and I was so looking forward to telling him how I feel and how I'm not afraid to open up to him anymore (was a big problem before!) and starting our relationship up again.
I don't know what to do... aside from the obvious "get on with your life" which is what I'm already doing... what the hell do i do?!

A friend thinks that I'm overreacting, another thinks he is unaware that I want a relationship due to my past of keeping my cards dangerously close to my chest and my mom thinks he basically had no choice but to move on since I straight up moved and he has a whole new life that doesn't include me.
But if that's the case... why would he sleep with me? I know he's a man but cmon... we have soooo much history, too much for it to ever be casual and he's honestly not the "player" type.

I don't know. I'm not naïve and certainly no stranger to being used or lied to, but we CARE about each other. So my brain refuses to accept that he would hurt me on purpose.
I guess I need advice or something. The whole "get over it, go out with somebody else" mantra from wayne's world sounds fantastic except that I don't want to!

You could always send him the link to this site lol
Or tex him how you feel about him

It can't hurt can it

If you don't want to give up on him like most people will probably tell you to do it won't harm telling him how you feel and that your ready if he is to give it ago all cards on the table etc

Talk about him moving out west with you. The key is to living in the funniest city ever. All you have to do is prove the new city is better than the old. Maybe try to get some of his friends to move out there too. If its as serious as you say, then he should be open to it. The only problem with this is his family not wanting him to leave.

Correction: city with the most fun.

She moved back home why would she moved back out their again?

he made it clear he was interested so I can't help but feel that opposite behavior means opposite feelings.
Don't assume anything. How long has it been since you talked to him? Could it be time for you to open up with some communications?

He has a life and he can have casual sex with you, you have allowed this. I suggest you have a talk with him and find out if you two are on the same page. In the meantime, stay out of his bed until you know what is going on in his head.

Hahaha, my mom said the same thing!
When I had sex with him, I did not think it was "casual" to either of us.
So, yes I technically allowed it but never would have imagined this outcome.

And, talaniman, the timeline goes like this:
I moved back on the 4th, we saw each other on the 8th into the 9th, I called him on the
10th just to say hello (and an effort to break old habits/show that I'm changing and not so closed off anymore) and then the 11th he talked to me ONLINE apologizing for not returning my call. Well that was Friday and its Monday now. So um... I'm pretty sure there's a hint I'm supposed to take.

What I don't understand is... its not like I cheated or hurt him in some way, the only thing that happened was I moved away! And even if that did hurt him... well... I came back for him! So what the hecks?

You moved away and he moved on with his life. You came back and he has still moved on with is life, but will have occasional sex with you with no commitment as long as you allow it.
What you need to do is have a talk with him to see if you guys can pick up where you left off.
You also need to re examine why you broke up in the first place. Those things may still exist and you may be jumping back into a situation you were already out of.
I thinking moving away, you missed things and you missed a relationship. Do some real serious thinking about going back to something you have left once already.

Communicate without the sex, as that complicates things as you see. I also think Homegirl is dead on, on this one. You thought you could come back, and resume things where you left off, and didn't see the changes, in him.

you could always send him the link to this site lol
or tex him how you feel about him

it can't hurt can it

if you don't want to give up on him like most people will probably tell you to do it wont harm telling him how you feel and that your ready if he is to give it ago all cards on the table ect


OK so I took your advice, and yeah you were right; most people did tell me to give up!
Where's that boombox-over-the-head mentality? Hehe.

Sooooo I wrote a long email. It was perfect if I may say so. I expressed my emotions without being "emotional" if you know what I mean. And after the opening statement I said, "before i get to it i just want to say that i'm in love with you". And then I just laid it all out. I addressed everything and emphasized that I wanted to give our relationship another go. His response was that we need to discuss it in person because it was too important to talk about via internet.
He and I are getting together tomorrow and having a huge heart to heart. Hopefully things will work out the way I want them to! The biggest problem I face now is deciding what the hell to wear!! I'm THIS close to going shopping. :oP

Thanks to all you guys for helping out a stranger in total desperation! When I first posted man things felt bleek. Like, the world was about to stop turning over here!
I'll let you guys know how it works out.

Hey there... 1st of all let me tell u.. I really do understand what you are going through dear... its not easy letting go off a man you love.. but just think about 1 thing.. if he was not a playboy kind.. wud he have had a girlfriend in your absence?? if he was really in love with u.. he would have missed you as much as you missed him in west... another thing is about sex.. wen a man wants to have sex,he can be the most loving person on earth th8 time.. he can make you believe th8 he loves you the most on earth and after sleeping with you when he gets up,he will be a different man! this is how playboys are my dear... just understand th8 u deserve something much better in life,don't cry 4 such a man wo is ready to sleep with you and have a new girl when you are not with him... show him th8 u don't depend on him... I will pray for you and wish the best to u... ur life is only yours and try to understand what your mom wants to tell u... best luck 4 your life honey...