We have been accused of molesting our grand daughter. As you can imagine , it has upended our lives and we have lost all contact with our grand daughters since this accusation has been leveled. This has been going on for 2 years now and we have never been investigated or approached by the legal system. Our suspicion is that our daughter in law has just made the allegation to manipulate our son.

We finally got to see in writing the allegations in divorce papers served to our son. There is a letter from a counselor stating that in working with our grand daughter nothing was disclosed but some flags went up from statements the mother said and that further investigation was needed if visitation changed. In attorney documents the mother asked that we not be able to see the girls and stated that she had taken the daughters to a doctor and they had vaginal infections, that she had taken the youngest to the Prosecuting Attorney and when the child would not name any names he sent her on to the before mentioned counselor. So basically all we have is a counselor that didn't have anything revealed to her and a mother who has made a lot of accusations.

Our attorney and counselor said that things didn't add up right about the procedure. That we would have been investigated that things were not in the mothers hands but would follow a set procedure. I will investigate public records to see if she really went to the Prosecuting Attorney. I am assuming that if she did go that he didn't find anything that would warrant further investigation.


My question is do we have any recourse? Can we sue for defamation of character? Will a judge look at this paperwork and order an investigation? Can we get the mother to take a psychological evaluation? Most improtantly, can we use this to put the whole thing to rest and see our grand daughters again?

If you already have an attorney your best bet would be to have the attorney file motions with the court on your behalf to see the children. I don't think you'll find much in the public records as most often information such as this is not for public viewing due to the age of the children. Please follow up with your attorney on this matter.

I would continue to consult your legal representative. They will be able to tell you what options you have based on the laws and statutes in your area.

In most states (in all, probably), there is no action that can be taken against someone who reports child abuse, whether done out of interest for the child or done with malicious intent toward the parent/caregiver. The reasoning behind it is because then less people would be willing to report such incidents for fear of retaliation. A person makes enough accusations that do not develop into real issues, though... well, we all know the story of the boy who cried wolf. Not only is it a waste of time and resources for those who work in the field, but it destroys relationships. Eventually, I would think it could be construed as harassment, but each case would be considered individually. And again, depends on the laws and statutes in your area.

If your daughter-in-law had real concerns and reported it, they would have been investigated by your local child protection agency. You would have been contacted as a part of the investigation. And it surely wouldn't drag on for two years without some sort of resolution, positive or negative. Those are VERY serious accusations, no court or CPS agency would just shrug it off for two years.

What has your son said about all of this?

Sounds to me, your soon-to-be-ex-but-not-soon-enough daughter-in-law is trying to rack up as many "See how terrible his side is?" points as possible in this divorce and unfortunately is willing to sacrifice an important relationship between grandparents and her own children to do it.

We have been accused of molesting our grand daughter. As you can imagine , it has upended our lives and we have lost all contact with our grand daughters since this accusation has been leveled. This has been going on for 2 years now and we have never been investigated or approached by the legal system. Our suspicion is that our daughter in law has just made the allegation to manipulate our son.

We finally got to see in writing the allegations in divorce papers served to our son. There is a letter from a counselor stating that in working with our grand daughter nothing was disclosed but some flags went up from statements the mother said and that further investigation was needed if visitation changed. In attorney documents the mother asked that we not be able to see the girls and stated that she had taken the daughters to a doctor and they had vaginal infections, that she had taken the youngest to the Prosecuting Attorney and when the child would not name any names he sent her on to the before mentioned counselor. So basically all we have is a counselor that didn't have anything revealed to her and a mother who has made a lot of accusations.

Our attorney and counselor said that things didn't add up right about the procedure. That we would have been investigated that things were not in the mothers hands but would follow a set procedure. I will investigate public records to see if she really went to the Prosecuting Attorney. I am assuming that if she did go that he didn't find anything that would warrant further investigation.


My question is do we have any recourse? Can we sue for defamation of character? Will a judge look at this paperwork and order an investigation? Can we get the mother to take a psychological evaluation? Most improtantly, can we use this to put the whole thing to rest and see our grand daughters again?


Posting this twice, half an hour apart, only confuses things -

You have an Attorney - I would stop investigating on your own (for example, at the prosecutor's office) and allow your Attorney and your son's Attorney to handle the matter. You can only further harm yourself and bring additional attention to the matter by asking questions when you already have an Attorney.

Actual damages must be proven in a defamation case. Have you been financially damaged and have these allegations been discussed with law enforcement, Attorneys and the Court... or everyone your daughter-in-law comes across?

Need some additional info here - What are the ages of the grandchildren? Is there an Court Order you can't see them or did the mother simply "ask" that you not see them? And where is your son in all of this? I can't quite tell what the situation is. Has your Attorney gone into Court and asked for visitation or at least supervised visitation during the past two years? And what did the Court decide?

Thanks to a case that went all the way to the supreme court, grand parents do not have the right to visitation. I was hoping that if we proved the mother frivolous that the judge would not grant her request.

Yes we have an attorney who has told us we don't have recourse we warrant a second opinion

Thanks to a case that went all the way to the supreme court, grand parents do not have the right to visitation. I was hoping that if we proved the mother frivolous that the judge would not grant her request.

Yes we have an attorney who has told us we don't have recourse we warrant a second opinion


This is different from Grandparent visitation and the Supreme Court case - this is loss of/no visitation due to alleged abuse.

I'm interested in the answers to my other questions - ?

Have you been financially damaged and have these allegations been discussed with law enforcement, Attorneys and the Court ... or everyone your daughter-in-law comes across?

Financially we spent $5,000 to Attorneys, lie detector exam and counselors but the mental anguish is what has really been unbearable. If the mother is to be believed then law enforcement has been involved and it has come back to us that at least two people have been told. In my son's divorce papers there is a specific request that visitation be denied to us.

What are the ages of the grandchildren? Is there an Court Order you can't see them or did the mother simply "ask" that you not see them? And where is your son in all of this? I can't quite tell what the situation is. Has your Attorney gone into Court and asked for visitation or at least supervised visitation during the past two years? And what did the Court decide?

The grand children are 11 and 8 now. Supposedly, we molested the 8 year old when she was 5. The mother is asking for the court to deny us visitation both temporarily while this proceeds to court and permanently. Our attorney has advised us to have no contact with our grand daughters. Our son has been desperately trying to save his marriage during all of this. He believes their fights over this issue is what has caused their marriage to fail. Now that he has been served he wants to fight to give us visitation rights.

Hello ht:

What police agency or court is preventing you from visiting your grandchildren?? None?? Until they are divorced, your son has as much say regarding visitation rights as the mother does. If HE wants you to visit, all he has to do is invite you. SHE does not run the show... unless nobody stops her, and that's what's happening.

excon

PS> You intent is to visit your grandchildren. I would FIRE any attorney who tells you not to contact them!!

Have you been financially damaged and have these allegations been discussed with law enforcement, Attorneys and the Court ... or everyone your daughter-in-law comes across?

Financially we spent $5,000 to Attorneys, lie detector exam and counselors but the mental anguish is what has really been unbearable. If the mother is to be believed then law enforcement has been involved and it has come back to us that at least two people have been told. In my son's divorce papers there is a specific request that visitation be denied to us.

What are the ages of the grandchildren? Is there an Court Order you can't see them or did the mother simply "ask" that you not see them? And where is your son in all of this? I can't quite tell what the situation is. Has your Attorney gone into Court and asked for visitation or at least supervised visitation during the past two years? And what did the Court decide?

The grand children are 11 and 8 now. Supposedly, we molested the 8 year old when she was 5. The mother is asking for the court to deny us visitation both temporarily while this proceeds to court and permanently. Our attorney has advised us to have no contact with our grand daughters. Our son has been desperately trying to save his marriage during all of this. He believes their fights over this issue is what has caused their marriage to fail. Now that he has been served he wants to fight to give us visitation rights.


I can see the problem - sounds to me like your son either took no stand on the issue or agreed with his wife and that was/is part of the problem. Now that he's been served he's changed his position or become vocal in your vocal. This could very well be seen as sour grapes by the Court, as a person who has changed his "testimony."

There is no Court Order that you can't see them - have you filed a Motion requesting that you see them on the grounds of no proof?

I don't understand where your Attorney is coming from - lie detector tests and counselors (for whatever reason) when there are no formal charges?

Sounds sad and confusing all the way around.

Sorry for the delay, I've been doing double shifts.

You are right, he took no stand other than perpetual fighting with his wife over it. It has been hard for us to accept. She has asked in the Parenting Plan and in the Temporary Order that we, the grandparents, not be allowed to see them. Quite frankly since this all happened, we have been afraid to. I checked with the Prosecuting Attorneys office and they confirmed that our soon to be ex-daughter in law did take our grand daughter in. I assume that because we have never been interviewed they did not find anything worth investigating.

I will ask about this motion to see them based on no proof. Up until now we have not been encouraged by our attorneys to do anything about it.

We were the ones that insisted on the lie detector test and counselor. We felt at the time that if professionals were brought in, she would see that she had been wrong. I guess when you witch hunting, it's possible to see them everywhere.

Thank you for your responses

Sorry for the delay, I've been doing double shifts.

You are right, he took no stand other than perpetual fighting with his wife over it. It has been hard for us to accept. She has asked in the Parenting Plan and in the Temporary Order that we, the grandparents, not be allowed to see them. Quite frankly since this all happened, we have been afraid to. I checked with the Prosecuting Attorneys office and they confirmed that our soon to be ex-daughter in law did take our grand daughter in. I assume that because we have never been interviewed they did not find anything worth investigating.

I will ask about this motion to see them based on no proof. Up until now we have not been encouraged by our attorneys to do anything about it.

We were the ones that insisted on the lie detector test and counselor. We felt at the time that if professionals were brought in, she would see that she had been wrong. I guess when you witch hunting, it's possible to see them everywhere.

Thank you for your responses


So there IS a temporary no visitation order as far as you are concerned?

It's been asked for but hasn't been to court yet to be decided on.