Entire story merged

He lives 2000 miles away and I miss him so much! :( We have been together for 1year and almost 3 months and so far 9months of it has been long distance. We talk about 3times a day on the phone.($$$ :(.. lol) We have seen each other 2 times since we had to be in long distance(only for a few weeks each time). But we won't be able to live together for a least 4 more years! I have faith in the relationship and we truly love each other but I get really sad a lot because I miss him. Is anyone else dealing with this? Or has? Tell me your stories.. maybe they can help! I just miss him sooooo much:(!!

Also in 2 months I will go visit him again! XoXo Thank you everyone~

Sorry, I never have, but my brother did often due to traveling. What he and his girlfriend did was leave the relationship open. Meaning, they had the right to see others. They both agreed on it and things went absolutely fine. They were together for around 7 years, but thankfully he left her! Ya, I didn't like her. I have heard some people do that, they say if you love each other, you will end up back together every time!

I have been there. My advice is giving it open. Meaning both of you guys have the rights to meet and love someone else. And guess what? Fate will bring you guys together if it is meant to be. Chill out gal, there is so much to do rather than spending all the time missing someone. You might feel what I'm writing here is not accurate but over time, you'll see!

We both don't want to date other people though. We see each other every few months and if we were to date other people it would be awkward. We are going to marry and when we do that's when we live together, we believe in that. It just gets lonely sometimes. I could never imagine being able to kiss him , knowing he's out there with other women. Nooo way . I love him too much!! <3 he tells me the same as well.

He lives 2000 miles away and I miss him soo much!!:( We have been together for 1year and almost 3 months and so far 9months of it has been long distance. We talk about 3times a day on the phone.($$$ :( ..lol) We have seen each other 2 times since we had to be in long distance(only for a few weeks each time). But we wont be able to live together for a least 4 more years!! I have faith in the relationship and we truly love each other but i get really sad alot because i miss him. Is anyone else dealing with this?? or has?? Tell me your stories ..maybe they can help! I just miss him sooooo much:( !!!

Also in 2 months i will go visit him again! XoXo Thank you everyone~
Long distance relationships are not fun, but in some cases worth every month, day, minute and second. If you truly feel that you both love each other so much, the time that you spend apart can be considered the real test. I know what you are feeling. I personally experienced these feelings with a woman that I met and love from the Philippines, over 7000 miles away. But if you wait it out, maybe your ending will be as wonderful as mine. I have a blog that I write and I published our difficult story and a poem that I wrote to this woman who eventually became my wife. That long distant relationship was the best relationship that I had my entire life. I encourage you to go to my website: BLOGHEAVEN (http://blogheaven.us) and read my story. Then you will understand that just maybe your situation will get better. Just for the record, I met Virginia on the internet, and met her in the Philippines 3 months later. A whole year went by before we met again, but this time I went with her to the US Embassy in Manila and brought her home with me three weeks later and we were married. One thing you might consider is to stop all the telephone calls and use your computer to talk to your man directly, everyday as much as you want without any charge. That telephone bill can be kind of expensive. You can use Yahoo Messenger, or Skype, or one of a dozen audio/video programs to keep in touch. One thing you MUST keep in mind for any long distance relationship to work is that both of you MUST TRUST EACH OTHER. No relationship will last no matter how far apart you are from one another if there is no trust. You must not even doubt each other, because if you do, you are looking for more heartache and pain in the future. I hop this note has helped you, and please visit my site... Your friend... James

I am in a distant relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half, he went away 6 months ago because he started uni. During the time you're apart, realise that you don't have to sit around waiting for his calls/texts all day, go out with your friends, keep yourself busy etc! You'll find that your days go by quicker, which means seeing him will come along quicker. This will also make you happier rather than missing him all day. Trust is also very important. Stay strong! My dad started writing to my mum because he found her on penpal, and she lived in the far east and my dad in england. They wrote for a year, and during that time they saw each other just two times before they got married and they are still together now. Proves it can work, you just need to stay strong and when you are with each other, make every minute last! If you are meant to be it will work.

Thank you guys so much.! :) your stories have helped me a lot! XoXo Thank you!

Hello and thank you for viewing this... I will tell you some background first.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2years and a year and a half has been in long distance (2000miles). We have been very strong and have visited each other 5times since he moved away for school. 4 of the times were me visiting him(because of his schooling). It is very expensive for me and I want to go to school now so I won't be able to visit until I'm done school (2years) He only gets off 2 weeks in December,1 week in march and 2weeks in July.. for the next 2 years.

So we both know its going to be very hard to see each other for awhile and he is always always busy with homework now, we barely get to talk because of it and I am afraid I'm going to lose him. We reallly do love each other and want it to work but like eventually we are never going to talk and he will soon rather be with his new university friends. He told me before that he might want to break up because I can find someone better who can give me more attention and stuff but I realllly reallly love him and I don't want any other man. I don't no what to do . He won't let me visit him because I need to pay for school (which I understand) he is able to visit me because his parents always pay for him but he barely has any time off school. Ahhh I am going crazy I feel like I am losing him and there's absolutely NOTHING I can do about it :( :( :( I have never felt so much love toward anyone except him and I just can not let time,money and school drive us apart... please help what do you guys think?

Thank you,

p.s. we have plans of marriage in 4years ( we not engaged.. yet but we have planned)

Hello and thank you for viewing this... I will tell you some background first.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2years and a year and a half has been in long distance (2000miles). We have been very strong and have visited each other 5times since he moved away for school. 4 of the times were me visiting him(because of his schooling). It is very expensive for me and i want to go to school now so i wont be able to visit until im done school (2years) He only gets off 2 weeks in december,1 week in march and 2weeks in july.. for the next 2 years.

So we both know its going to be very hard to see each other for awhile and he is always always busy with homework now, we barely get to talk because of it and i am afraid im gonig to lose him. We reallly do love each other and want it to work but like eventually we are never going to talk and he will soon rather be with his new university friends. He told me before that he might want to break up because i can find someone better who can give me more attention and stuff but i realllly reallly love him and i dont want any other man. i dont no what to do . He wont let me visit him because i need to pay for school (which i understand) he is able to visit me because his parents always pay for him but he barely has any time off of school. ahhh i am going crazy i feel like i am losing him and theres absolutely NOTHING i can do about it :( :( :( I have never felt so much love toward anyone except him and i just can not let time,money and school drive us apart....please help what do u guys think??

Thank you, Tamara

p.s. we have plans of marriage in 4years ( we not engaged..yet but we have planned)

Sorry to burst the bubble but it's not going to happen.
I was in a relationship too... met up, had sex, and did what couples do.
Left me after 15 months...

Uni or starting a new school is an exciting experience for anyone.. that being said - unless your boyfriend is a super genius in an elite school where homework is enforced every day of the minute, I would suggest he's exaggerating to justify his absence. There's no such thing as "too much homework". Any school/institution isn't absurd - he HAS free time.. I imagine he CHOOSES not to spend the little free time he has over the phone to you and CHOOSES to do something more proactive (which makes PERFECT SENSE). I'm sorry to be so direct and somewhat cruel but it's just the way the boat floats.. That was HINT 1.
Barely has time off school to visit? - if its EXPENSIVE to visit that's a valid excuse.. but no time OFF ? I imagine its his first year since you mentioned his "new" uni friends.. I don't know if the educational system in the US is different than the one in the UK (assuming you're in the US).. but the first year is usually very little strain.. Even so - I study a science and I had about 30 odd hours of lectures a week + assesments e.t.c.. But I worked my b*tt off on weekdays and I didn't slack off.. and I took the weekend to visit my girlfriend.(Travel costs were cheap but this is just an example). That was HINT 2.
HINT 3:
He told me before that he might want to break up because I can find someone better who can give me more attention and stuff - self explanatory.
I wouldn't count on those wedding plans.. This guy is slowly drifting apart from you... and it's really not your fault - but distance does that to people. Long distance relationships are a no-no... Ofcourse you still love him , you're where you were when you were together.. you're still in that same place..
When you remove one of the elements and stick them into a new environment - it makes it all that easier to move on and forget.. You're only torturing yourself when you don't realise this.. It's going to sting at first when you do, but once you're in uni it'll be easier for you to move on.
I'm sorry but you're only postponing future sorrow and pain if you stay in this relationship, it was condemned to fail from beginning to start. The sad thing is it's not your fault - and I certainly don't blame him.. it's just the way things are..
Please consider
-thanks
Nick

He seriously has a lot of homework.. actually I'm in canada and he's in mexico and I've seen his timetable and he seriously has no time off and he does have homework like crazy.. university is different there even our mutual friends there have lots of homework..

He does call me about 4times a day but only for about 5minutes to check up and say hi.. but I want to actually have a conversation.. is that asking too much?

He seriously has alot of homework .. actually im in canada and hes in mexico and ive seen his timetable and he seriously has no time off and he does have homework like crazy .. unviersity is different there even our mutual friends there have lots of homework..

Just break it off...

It won't last =/

Has to just say break up with someone you love so much, like it will hurt not only to have him as an ex but at all I know if we break up it will be goodbye forever and I really do care about him

has to just say break up with someone you love so much, like it will hurt not only to have him as an ex but at all i know if we break up it will be goodbye forever and i really do care about him

Look... everyone is going to go through this stage no matter what unless the person stays as a hermit.

I've been in the same situation and it sucks.

But if we able to make it through our relationship would be so much stronger than just quitting

but if we able to make it through our relationship would be so much stronger than just quitting.. I'm sorry but being on these forums long enough has taught me that this only happens in the movies.. or a very fortunage 0.01% of the developed world.
You justify his homework excuse - ill buy it for now, but what about everything else I mentioned? He even hinted at breaking up.. I assume the only reason he isn't doing it is because he doesn't want to hurt you.. You've seen the guy 4 times in a year.. thats NOT healthy.. human beings have needs , both emotional and physical.. Online or telephone just won't cut it... Imho it's lasted long enough already.. I'm sorry but there isn't much you can do about this. You have to grasp the reality of your situation.
It's highly unlikely things will work out for the two of you.

Okay,

I'm going to jump in here since a lot of what I saw seems pretty depressing and I'm sure not what the OP had in mind.. Here's my two cents...

Long distance relationships are VERY hard. Probably the biggest strain on a relationship you could imagine. On top of that, your relationship is going to be long distance, with virtually no contact, for the next two years. That's a very long time.

Try this... Think back 2 years ago. Think about what you liked, what you were into, what you didn't like, etc... You will probably see that you aren't the same person you were then as you are now... Why do you think that in two years time from now, you will be the same as you are now? Not to mention, these years are probably some of the most formative years in your life...

The reason I say this is it's hard for anyone, even the two of you, to predict what is going to happen in the future.. If you want to try to keep this relationship going, I say go for it. I'm not saying its going to be easy -- it won't. I'm not saying it's going to work because the truth is, most LDRs fall apart. It's a fact. That doesn't mean your doomed, it just means its going to be very tough...

It sounds like from what he has told you, he knows how hard it is going to be, and no matter what his reasons are, he has some reservations about it. I think you need to keep in mind how much work this is going to be, and go into it cautiously.

Just keep in mind that it is a very real possibility that it will not last...

Thank you that is the nicest truthful post!

Hello, I have been considering breaking up with my boyfriend for quite sometime.. we have been together for almost 2 years and in long distance for 1year and a half. Right now he's super busy in university and we can barely talk.. whenever I call him he gets mad because he is always studying or between classes and it hurts me because whenever he is able to call me we just talk for like 5minutes.. but he does tell me he loves me and kisses me on the phone every time.and I just moved in a completely new city and have no friends here and I really look forward for conversations with my boyfriend once I have no close friends here. So I am very lonely already and without him I will be more lonely.

I have some questions maybe you guys can help me with..

How long should I think about breaking up before doing it?

How do I stop being so lonely after?

How am I suppose to say goodbye to someone I actually truly truly love?

p.s. this will be with first breakup with someone I love.


Also do you think I'm making the right choice?

If you've been thinking about it for quite some time now, maybe it is time to break up with him. It's hard to be in a long distance relationship, especially when the other person is so busy and can't make time for you. You start to feel like you're doing all the work, and you are. It's going to be hard to not be lonely after because that's normal. You could start by taking up a new hobby or spending more time with hobbies you already have. As far as being social you might end up having to step out of your comfort zone. Do you work or go to school to where you could meet new people?

It sounds to me like you are making the right choice. Breaking up with someone you love is hard but it sounds like it's harder to be in the situation you're in now.

Whether you end up together or not, who can say, but just know you have a difficult path before you. Staying together through distance, and time, for the next 4 years?? Very difficult indeed, and you will face many challenges, so if its already tough, your in for tougher. Good Luck with that.

Liten, I'm a guy and yeah I think you should brake up with his. I mean if I love my girl I will make time for her no matter how busy I am. But you should think about it really good too. And if you do brake up with him don't call him or try to get him back. He will only feel special and probably keep ignorin you.

As a guy who was the dumped in the similar situation, IT INCREASES THE STRESS LEVEL. Maybe you have not experienced college life so you want to leave him, but it happened to me at the end of my first year in university.

If you think dumping him due to his inability to talk with you and spend time with you, think again. This isn't about him or you anymore; he's pursuing a degree which requires time away. Think about how the soldiers of men and women in Iraq.. how do their loved ones cope with the situation. My ex left me cause of this situation and I told her not to come back to me if she needs help or anything from me. She boldly said "fine!" and you know what? I'm 150% sure I will be very successful since I am pursuing a pre-med degree at a local college while working as a courtesy clerk (bag-boy/girl). When I am finished with my pre-med degree, I'll return to university, finish up my degree in psychology, and graduate.

Don't dump him because of inability to spend time. That is a dumb reason.
Dump him because he hurt you in different ways.

Giving my side of view as a male who was dumped during university.

Why do you have 2 similar posts...?

I just think like he is able to make time for his university friends to hangout but not even 15minutes a day to have a good conversation like he will call me like 4times a day for 5minutes to be like hi, how are you, what you doing, what you do today, cool,yeah, I have to go now, I love u, MUAAAHH, bye.. . like that isn't a good conversation I know its good to check up but its been like 4days now with only check ups.. am I being to demanding?

You have many reason to get out, so make a decision that's in your interest, and go about making it happen.

i just think like he is able to make time for his university friends to hangout but not even 15minutes a day to have a good conversation like he will call me like 4times a day for 5minutes to be like hi, how r u, what u doing, what u do today, cool,yeah, i have to go now, i love u, MUAAAHH, bye . .. like that isnt a good conversation i know its good to check up but its been like 4days now with only check ups.. am i being to demanding?

Have you discussed the situation with him?

This was earlier now I think I might break up with him so I posted a new one

As a guy who was the dumped in the similar situation, IT INCREASES THE STRESS LEVEL. Maybe you have not experienced college life so you want to leave him, but it happened to me at the end of my first year in university.

If you think dumping him due to his inability to talk with you and spend time with you, think again. This isn't about him or you anymore; he's pursuing a degree which requires time away. Think about how the soldiers of men and women in Iraq.. how do their loved ones cope with the situation. My ex left me cause of this situation and I told her not to come back to me if she needs help or anything from me. She boldly said "fine!" and you know what? I'm 150% sure I will be very successful since I am pursuing a pre-med degree at a local college while working as a courtesy clerk (bag-boy/girl). When I am finished with my pre-med degree, I'll return to university, finish up my degree in psychology, and graduate.

Don't dump him because of inability to spend time. That is a dumb reason.
Dump him because he hurt you in different ways.

Giving my side of view as a male who was dumped during university.


I disagree with this post. Breaking up with someone because you don't spend any time together is a good reason. I believe if her boyfriend cared as much about the relationship as she did that he would come see her once in a while and bring homework if he wants, but at least show that he cares enough to come see her. There's no reason he couldn't come see her, get some dinner, watch a movie or something and then work on some homework while he's there.

Yes he said about 2 weeks ago that he did want to break up because he felt guilty about never having time for me.. and he wanted to be able to be with his friends without feeling guilty of not being there for me. And he suggested we only talk every few days but I just said OK if you are too busy during the day to talk then just call to say goodnight but I have been having a lot of problems with things lately (with school and family) and I would call him for advice and he would always get mad because I didn't stick to the plan and that's why I am thinknig break up because he isn't there for me the same.. but maybe he just isn't able to be.. I'm not sure

We live 2000 miles away and about $1200 plane ticket and during school that is hard and he only gets off a total of 5weeks a year

I disagree with this post. Breaking up with someone because you don't spend any time together is a good reason. I believe if her boyfriend cared as much about the relationship as she did that he would come see her once in a while and bring homework if he wants, but at least show that he cares enough to come see her. There's no reason he couldn't come see her, get some dinner, watch a movie or something and then work on some homework while he's there.

Ahem.

You are plainly basing your facts on what? Did you read about her previous post that THIS IS A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP? Also, I was in a long distance relationship as well, so it perfectly matches.

Also, if he could visit her... where's the money going to come from?

Nothing is not simple as you type it is.

I am basing my facts on what she's said about him not being there for her, about not getting to spend time together, about him already stating that he wanted to break up.

yes he said about 2 weeks ago that he did want to break up because he felt guilty about never having time for me.. and he wanted to be able to be with his friends without feeling guilty of not being there for me. and he suggested we only talk every few days but i just said ok if u r too busy during the day to talk then just call to say goodnight but i have been having alot of problems with things lately (with school and family) and i would call him for advice and he would always get mad because i didnt stick to the plan and thats why i am thinknig break up because he isnt there for me the same.. but maybe he jsut isnt able to be.. im not sure

Well, I can see where he is coming from cause 5 weeks off for break is short. How about you two find a midpoint and fly there and meet up?

Still, I am guessing you don't know about college life so I'll say this now...

Time is valuable, precious, priceless.... it is really hard to squeeze all-of-a-sudden situation in a timed schedule. Sure, he says to break up but he's too afraid to do so. My ex mentioned about breaking up and I was fine with it, but it drove me nuts after a while. Bad mistake was I took her back and she left me 2 months later.

For moving to a new place, why don't you get out and start meeting people instead of whining online? I didn't know anyone around my work place and guess what? I started talking with the cashiers and customers... increasing my ability to socialize with others.

Problems? Well, everyone has problems.. not just you~
Instead of focusing your problems so much... pay attention to good stuff

Lol relax!! He is going to try to come in December but his parents will be paying for it.. they paid last time he came so they might again

I am basing my facts on what she's said about him not being there for her, about not getting to spend time together, about him already stating that he wanted to break up.

Did you even read her post after your disagreement?

2000 miles away (Canada-Mexico)
$1200 plane ticket
5 weeks off university.

Clearly, please read all posts beforing debating.

Well its 2weeks in December which include christmas n newyears so he will be with his family for christmas.. 1 wweek in march and 2 weeks in July

lol relax!!! he is going to try to come in december but his parents will be paying for it.. they payed last time he came so they might again

There you go.
He's trying to come in December to visit you...

So think about it..

He's all busy up with university... during break, he can visit you

Is it a good trade or not?

One of my favorite quotes "There is no such thing as NOTHING for SOMETHING"

well its 2weeks in december which include christmas n newyears so he will be with his family for christmas.. 1 wweek in march and 2 weeks in july

What you need to do now is to call him and ask him when it's a good time to talk to him.
Then discuss the issue and say "hey, I really want you to come this Christmas. Please sway your parents' plan so we can be together."

Its true.. the same problem happened last year when he was busy with work all the time and then we broke up and a month later he quit his job and everything was OK but now its like his *new friends* that are a problem and I would never tell him to not be with him and I never told him to quit his job he did it all in his favor

Did you even read her post after your disagreement?

2000 miles away (Canada-Mexico)
$1200 plane ticket
5 weeks off of university.

Clearly, please read all posts beforing debating.



That post wasn't there when I posted my answer. It got posted about the same time I was working on my answer

No he can't he has to be with his parents for christmas they are very tradational.. and I already tried callnig him earlier and he was busy teaching his friends how to do some homework then he had to study for math and now he's doing a math test then he's probably studying after

its true .. the same problem happened last year when he was busy with work all the time and then we broke up and a month later he quit his job and everything was ok but now its like his *new friends* that r a problem and i would never tell him to not be with him and i never told him to quit his job he did it all in his favor


I am confused.

What are you trying to say?

He quit his job after you 2 broke up for a month... he got new friends.. then what happened?

no he can't he has to be with his parents for christmas they r very tradational.. and i already tried callnig him earlier and he was busy teaching his friends how to do some homework then he had to study for math and now hes donig a math test then hes probably studying after

If he's not going to try, then dump him.

There's no reason why he's not going to try...
Everyone breaks a rule, either tradtional, religious, or self-explanatory...

For studying, tell him to stop and actually put effort.

I put effort in an useless relationship =/

Last year this happened because he was working too much then we broke up for month and he missed me and quit his job so we would have time to talk and whatver and then now this year ( I'm taking school years) he super busy again but now the thing taknig up his time is his friends (homework too) but friends are . And I'm afradi we r going to break up

last year this happened because he was working too much then we broke up for month and he missed me and quit his job so we would have time to talk and whatver and then now this year ( im taking school years) he super busy again but now the thing taknig up his time is his friends (homework too) but friends are . and im afradi we r gonig to break up


Why don't you tell him to put time for you instead of friends?

Wel Tuesday,Friday and Saturday are his friends nights... BUT whenever he studies he is always with them like they all study together which I know take more time but you do less work and like I could never tell him to not hangotu with his friends that is just wrong

Honestly, you should call it quits. He is clearly not into you and doesn't have the courage to tell you. He is like a lot of young guys his age, immature and selfish. I do not hate men and am a huge believer in instincts. You know in your heart that you need to let this one go, if you keep waiting it will only prolong the pain. If he loved you like he said he does, he wouldn't be treating you the way he's doing. His lack of care and interest in your life is his way of pushing you away in order to end the relationship. If he is a jerk enough then you will break up with him and he will not be the bad guy. I know its hard for you to put perspective on it now, but you have to take care of yourself and your happiness and it sounds like this relationship is already hurting you. It can be lonely after any break-up even with lots of friends, but with time and a little effort on your part you will move on before you know it. Go out and meet new friends and find something you enjoy doing, but whatever you do, don't stay in a relationship that is unfulfilling. You sound like a nice young girl who deserves better and needs to have higher standards. If you don't value yourself, no one else will. Best of luck to you. :)

wel tuesday,friday and saturday are his friends nights... BUT whenever he studies he is always with them like they all study together which i know take more time but u do less work and like i could never tell him to not hangotu with his friends that is just wrong

I sense bull

Study with the same friends?
I doubt that sh*t cause everyone in college has different courses to take..
unless they are pursuing the same major...

I thought of this now..

If he's a mathematics major, how would he be helping his friend with homework if his friend is a language major?

Doesn't add up.

Tell him to straighten his schedule out cause it seems like he's not time managing properly =/


@ other users:
STOP ABUSING THE AGREE/DISAGREE..
Seriously.

I've been reading over this post and hjpan, I think you're missing the point. she shouldn't have to ask him to spend time with her instead of his friends. He should automatically want to do that if he loved her.

Hmm... I am, isn't I?

Yeah and you were kind of rude to lmangileri. Lol.

Like he studies with his classes mates that have the same major :P

yeah and you were kinda rude to lmangileri. lol.

Rude in what way?
Trying to justify that my view is wrong?

There is no right or wrong in this situation. It's a matter of going back and forth.

like he studies with his classes mates that have the same major :P

Study on weekends too?

I doubt that unless he takes like 8 classes at once...

Reread the posts. Lol.

Chill out everyone and thank you for the help xoxo

He actually has 8 classes lol and he was doing an extra one at night but today was the last day of the night class

he actually has 8 classes lol and he was doing an extra one at night but today was the last day of the night class

Well, tell him to not overload himself and actually spend time with you.

Seems like an idiot caue over-loading HURTS the mind.. I overloaded with 6 classes..

It was really stressful cause I needed to manage time for studying, the ex, and alone time.

chill out everyone and thank you for the help xoxo

Just trying to spread my point...

I wasn't posting with an attitude. I mean no disrespect.

Dude people stop hyjacking the thread and stop fighting!

Let him know you're thinking about break up with him, listen to his reaction if he actually cares he'll stop studying and have a conversation. No body should be upset if their girlfriend calls them.

If you're in a new town and don't know anyone, go online. There's lots of different sites out there to meet people, it's easier then the bars.

Once you move on from your old boyfriend and find someone new you can actually see and talk to and that they want to talk to you too, you'll realize how unhappy you truly were with the long distance relationship.

8 classes doesn't leave a lot of playtime, but its for his future, so recognize that he is serious about building for himself. Actually you should be doing the same, and maybe now is not the time for you to to be together.

It's the fault of no one, but that's the way it is. How you both handle this is what makes, or breaks the relationship, but clearly your in different worlds right now. That's just life.

Let him do his thing, and you do yours, and see what the future brings.

He broke up with and I can't stop crying tomorrow was suppose to be our 1year and 9months.. we haven't been able to talk much lately because he's really busy with university and he doesn't want to hurt me anymore and I'm so upset I don't want to break up and I can't stop crying I don't no what to do I love him sooooo much.. any positive advice anyone can tell me? Please nothing negative I'm really upset

Hi Hollister
Sorry to hear your predicament :(

If its any comfort just know that there are literally 1000's of people in the same situation as you right now , it hurts like hell I know but with time it does get better I promise , even though right now you probably don't think so.

Read the sticky's at the top of the forum to get some insight and advice of what to expect and do while your going through this tough time. There is also some info in my signature.

Then read the other stories on here and then just come back on here and vent when you feel the need to. There are a lot of good people onhere who will help steer you in the right direction.

I feel for you and wish you Luck!

It will get better. It's hard when it first happens but time heals all wounds. It really does. Try as hard as you can not to talk to him because that will only make it harder for yourself.

Like I just moved in a new area and I don't no anyone and my friends live so far away now and its just me and my mom and like she's always working I feel so lonely

Do you go to school at all or have a job?

I just got a job and I start Saturday but I'm not able to start school for quite some time because of money issues

Well maybe there will be people at your job that you can hang out with. I met all sorts of people at my first job, I still hang out with most of them today. I started working with them in '99 and quit in '05 so after 3 years we still make a point to hang out. It makes sense though because you spend a lot of time with the people you work with.

I know its just so hard being lonely after a breakup :( we were together for almost 2years and all his family loved me and I spend over $4,000 to see him like I put a lot of effort in it and like he did as well and it sucks for it all to go to waste. I know its not about the money but it was about the hardwork I did to make it

It sucks I know , but really you just need to start somewhere and zoemaries suggestions are good one's.

It's going to hurt for a while and there's no cure for that , but you can help yourself and make the pain go away qiucker by keeping yourself busy.

I really recommend you read a lot of the stuff on here.

I know but we barely had any problems like it was so sudden

Not only do I love him but I care so much like I'm sad even now because I know it was hard for him to do and like I'm going crazy

It was sudden for you , but you'll probably find he had been thinking about it for a while.

You don't just wake up one morning and say I'm going to break up with my GF/BF for no reason.

And you'll find he will seem to be over the whole thing fairly qiuckly and that's because he's already dealt with the emotional turmoil of the break while deciding.

He said he just felt like it was the Right thing to do...

If it makes you feel any better, my girlfriend dumped me exactly 1 week after our 2.5 year anniversary. She won't talk to me, and she just acts like we never existed. Twisted huh?

You may think that you didn't have any problems, and most people being dumped always think that it was "so sudden" (me being one of them considering she was saying how much she loved me just hours before she dumped me.) The truth is, most people that break up with you have been thinking about it for a while, they slowly let themselves get over it so that when they dump you, they can move on easier.

Has this guy seemed distant (not literally, but avoiding you, non affectionate, etc. ) that would be a big clue as to why he dumped you. It could be the stress of school, it could be distance, it could be a number of things.

The thing you have to remember is that you did not do anything wrong, you owe him NOTHING. You will have plenty of people saying go no contact, and you may find it realllly hard to do this because you're still attached. The thing you have to learn is that you can't control everything that happens to you, but you CAN control how you react.

Grab the situation by the horns, say "Screw this I'm not letting this get me down" and ignore him. I would say aim for at LEAST 1 month of no contact.

Even if he calls you or texts you, you MUST retain no contact at all costs. This is KEY to your own happiness. You may want him back so badly, but who's to say that even if you get back together that 1 month from now he does it again you know?

If you're keeping no contact from him, you'll get to see things from the big picture, not just what you're feeling at the moment. You have to think with your gut, not with your heart.

Goodluck dear, we're all in this together.

Sweetie, this is a tough time, the toughest, and it sucks, no doubt about it.

This is the worst hurt, sadness, anger, everything all rolled in to one. I'd love to say that you'll feel better tomorrow, but truth be told, you probably won't feel a great deal better for a while.

The fact that this was sudden hurts even more, and that you just moved and don't know anyone also hurts.

Everyone else has great suggestions, and I know it's hard to think about doing what's been suggested, but really, we've all been there, done that, and we know what works and what doesn't. Do something, keep busy, go to work and try to meet new people. Cry when you need to, scream when you need to, vent, vent, vent all those feelings out. We're here when you need us, okay?

One thing that I find works really well is to start a journal. Write everything down, everything you're feeling, sometimes it helps to put it on paper. I bet that a month from now, if you read what you wrote on the first page, you'll realize that you've come a far way.

Time heals all wounds, it's trite, but true.

Take care, and remember, we're here for you. :)

Friend is correct... the one making the decision to break up has usually dwelt on it for a while and is more prepared for it than the other one is.

If it is any consolation, the one making the decision has to live with the decision and will probably be asking themselves if they made the right choice for a long time to come. Yes, he was prepared and did make the choice to end it and you feel terrible now. But you did nothing wrong from what I can see, you seem like a very nice person, you will hurt for awhile, then you will get over it, I promise. He, on the other hand will have to face his decision for a long time to come.

Believe me, you will smile again.

Stringer

Another problem is I am on his families cellphone plan so they will be needed contact so I can return it

Right now you need to concentrate on yourself. Do something nice for yourself, go out to dinner, get a manicure, get your hair done, you know, girl stuff. :)

Sweetie, really, you will feel better one day, you really will. I can't say that enough, because I know it's true. I also know that it doesn't feel like it right now, in fact, you feel like you'll never be happy again. You will, trust us, just give it some time.

The cell phone can be sent through mail, or just drop it off in their mailbox, you don't have to see anyone if you don't want to, in fact, I recommend that you don't see him or his family, it will just make things harder on you.

All of the little issues can be handled in a timely manner. I have a really good idea for you to deal with your hurt (I've been doing this myself)

Get your calendar you can write on. You're goal is October 11th. Circle it. Now, in each day, you should write a few words describing how you feel. Gradually you will see that your feelings have changed and you will feel better. It really does help.

A journal really does help as well, you need to vent your frustration, your pain and sorrows. You've lost someone that you held dear but you have to understand that the same pain is going through the other person's mind as well. They just know how to hide it, and that's what you need to do. Never let the other person see signs of weakness in you, you will only resent yourself later in life when looking back at it.

And don't hate this person, they are giving you a good learning experience, and as much pain and loneliness you may feel, there is someone out there... and they will find you.

But what if he wants to get back with me.. because we have broken up before.. actually a year ago and got back together and everything was OK. I really do see a future with him just maybe not right now

Ough oh...

but what if he wants to get back with me.. because we have broken up before .. actually a year ago and got back together and everything was ok. i really do see a future with him just maybe not right now


Key word is "NOT RIGHT NOW".

I like to think that people can change, that souls can reconnect at the appropriate times and that sometimes you may find the right person for you, but at the wrong time in your life. My good friend hunter's parents broke up when they were dating a while ago, found each other after 6 years, fell in love again and have been married now for 20+ years.

You're at a hard time right now (as am I... I'm 20 years old) everyone around you in our age groups is going through changes, finding ourselves, who we want to be, etc. Change is not a bad thing at all, it's just a stepping stone to find out what you really want out of life.

Do you want to sit here and be miserable for months on end over this break up, or do you want to make your life the best it can be, maybe find someone that makes your life that much better?

I've stated that you should set the NC rule for 1 month. There are issues in the relationship that need to be worked out, and you can't HONESTLY go back in to a relationship without taking a step back and figuring out for yourself what went wrong, what you like/dislike and if it's even worth it for you.

Patience is golden, and when going through a break up it is the hardest thing for us to deal with. You may listen to our advice, or you may not. We do know what we are talking about (I'm going through the same situation right this moment) and I know that I can be happy with or without this person in my life. You need to know you're a good person, you deserve to be happy, and right now this guy isn't making you happy and instead is making you rather upset?

Take some time for yourself, you're going to be perfectly fine in time.

Thank you, I think a lot has to do with me being lonely and being so close to him because I have moved a lot in the past few years and I haven't been able to get a best friend and I don't really have anyone to talk to

Well you have us to talk to now :)

Well h0llister... that's what we are here for... for you, you can "talk" with us at any time dear.

I know thank you lol he will regret this when he is done school and realize he lost a really good girl.. all the girls he knows just wants him for his money and are super princesses and what not and I'm not like that and he always liked that about me and he will regret it

i know thank you lol he will regret this when he is done school and realize he lost a really good girl.. all the girls he knows just wants him for his money and are super princesses and what not and im not like that and he always liked that about me and he will regret it

Good for you , your sounding a bit more positive already :)

I know webroke up before I know I can do it but it sucks because I do love him a lot I think I will always have feelings for him because he helped me in a very hard time in my life

Like I said, you don't have to hate him. Admire him for who he is as a person, not as your boyfriend.

I'll be your best friend okay? Heck, I'll be everyone's best friend!

Hooray!

Lol thank you I'm 19 by the way

Awesome. My best friends is near my age! Hahaha

Ok I better get out of here while you 2 get to know each other LOL ;)

Where r u from?

thank you, i think alot has to do with me being lonely and being so close to him because i have moved alot in the past few years and i havent been able to get a best friend and i dont really have anyone to talk to


You know dear... sometimes a person gets so wrapped up in the person that they are with that they cut themselves off from the rest of the world. They make their whole world... THAT person. Yes, I know that when you love someone that they mean a LOT to you but this is an example hon... always keep your friends or make new ones. This helps make you less vulnerable emotionally and you don't find yourself alone.

So, maybe you should now prioritize this... go find some new friends. :) :)

Stringer

I'm from California, born and raised!

California sunshine FTW!

Nice I wish I had a beach I live in ontario canada.. nothing to exciting here

Aside from the fact almost all the waters in the bay area are disgusting and polluted LOL

Oh lol never mind how old are you?

oh lol nevermind how old r u?


I was driving home from work. I'm 20. How you holding up?

My boyfriend just broke up with me last night and I am sooo hurt I didn't fall asleep until 3am because I was crying so much and then I woke up at 7am and cried again and now its 11am everything is so screwed up for me I am sooo hurt, I want to call him to see maybe he regrets breaking up with me. I have a really sharp pain in my chest that still hasn't gone away and I feeel like doing completely nothing I'm so hurt I don't think I've ever been this hurt in my life (from a relationship) I miss him soooooo much, help advice how do I keep my fingers away from the phone.

I understand your feeling, it happens after a break up. Calling him will get you absolutely no where. Read the stickies on the forum and take time to mourn your loss. It will get better over time, just let it out and don't try to hold in your feelings

Like he has been realllly stressed with school and he has a hard time not taking out stress on other people and we had a really good relationship and it came out of no where. Like its not fair to me and I love him so much and I want to be there for him when he's stressed and I'm so hurt I hate this so much and I miss him

I know it's hard, he has been thinking about it for awhile though so it may not be an out of the blue thing for him, just for you as it mostly is for the person who is broken up with

We broke once before (about a year ago) and I was hurt we stayed broken up for about a month and then got back together and this time when we broke up it is hurting soooo much more, like we had so many future plans so much to look forward too now I feel like I have taken 5 steps back in life. All I want is to hold him again ,he still tells me he loves me, how can someone still love someone but put them through all this pain

I wish there was a magic pill for the pain, but there isn't. Crying is nothing to be ashamed of, so let it flow.

You broke up LAST NIGHT and are pining away now about how much you miss him? You haven't even let the "missing him" start? Let's just say you are GOING to miss him, there we can agree.

Meanwhile, your question "how do I keep from calling him?" Let's see.

What is it you want in a boyfriend? You want this guy no matter how he feels or what he thinks or how he treats you? That's what you want? Him... no matter what? Really?

What about someone who craves spending time with you? What about someone who honors and cherishes you and your ideals? Someone who, after dating over a year, is more a fan of you than ever before?

Any of that sound good? It should. It's the POINT of dating.

I know your heart is starting to hurt. It's going to hurt a lot more. You know why? Because the heart is a big fat baby! The heart is a raw, mindless creature that wants what it wants and doesn't care about what is good for us.

So, YOU have to be smart about this whole process. Being in love is fine. But it can't control you. You're mind knows what's good for you. You have dreams of the perfect life and the perfect relationship... dreams in your MIND, not your heart.

To attain that dream, you have to be ready to walk away from failing love. Your heart will scream and pitch a tantrum the whole time... but you still have to do it.

This guy has given you a SECOND chance to get your life back and get back to finding the better love, the one that builds you up and makes your life better. Take this chance. Seize it, make it count.

When you are tempted to reach for the phone, remember, you're about to call the guy who makes you feel as badly as you do right now, as desperate as you do right now. Only call him if you want this desperation in your life forever.

You're smarter than that.

That's true, I miss him because were in long distance and I know now we will never ever see each other again. Its hard to accept not only the loss of the relationship but the loss of him forever

And everything is reminding me of him like everything of his country to his language to his favorite movies on TV gahh its driving me insane

It's hard because essentially it is breaking a habit. Surround yourself with friends and family who will be supportive, keep you occupied and make you laugh. Be Strong!

Thank you!

Ok last night when my boyfriend broke up with me, he was super stressed with school and homework and exams and we got in a fight and he broke up with me. I think it might be because of his school stress. Im not to sure if its for real he wants to break up or because of school stress. (he has problems taking out other problems on people) I really want to call him to know if he truly means it or if its from school and if we should just have a break until things settle down.. I really feel I need to know so I am able to move on or not... what do you guys think?

I think you should leave him alone until he is less stressed out otherwise you might just aggravate the situation...

That's true, I am suffering so much because I don't no if he was serious or not and its killing me

If he was not serious, he'll realize the error of his ways and come back to you. But he'll only figure this out when he is less stressed out. Bugging him when he is stressed out to find out if he was serious might only antagonize him more and make him say more stuff he does not really mean.

That's true, thank you! That sounds excatly like him! Lol

Stop! You've been told not to call or contact him. Read tons of other posts just like yours, pressure the person who broke up with you and it only ends in more heartache because they are still angry and you go and poke the bear with a stick

I know half of my pain is not knowing if its true or not. :S I'm in bad shape right now I'm sorry

It's fine... I'm just trying to help you avoid more pain. If he wants to recant his claim then he will call.. My question to you, why would you want to be with someone who takes his problems always out on you?

He does it everyone. Like he doesn't yell or anything but if he's upset about something he will just not want to talk at all

Like when I'm upset I talk and talk and talk as u see lol were opposite in those ways

he does it everyone. like he doesnt yell or anything but if hes upset about something he will just not want to talk at all
I am the same way. If someone burns me I don't express anger/emotion towards that. I'm a quiet angry person.

Give him space, don't call as it will only exacerbate things. He obviously felt pressured etc, so putting more on him will make him shut you out completely.

Hello, as many of you know my boyfriend and I broke up last night. I still can't get an appetite , any advice anyone can give me?

Not really a way to fix the feeling... just go hang out with old friends and do things that you did before. Pick up a new hobby or find a new one... work out, do anything you can to keep it off your mind. Spend some time on you... make your life about you again because after all, that's what is important.

You'll be like that for about a week. Force yourself to eat something, even if it's just a handful of cereal. Eventually, being alone will become normal, and you'll eat again.

You'll be okay. Just be yourself, you need to keep your energy up. Allow it it's proper griefing period and do some soul searching and thinking. Why did you break up? What could you have done differently? What part do you miss? Is it worth the heartache?

I could not eat last week. I would try but I just could not eat. I even threw up one morning I was feeling so bad. Try to eat. I felt like a zombie for 2 days because of the lack of sleep and not being able to sleep.

AS everyone says time will make it better. I feel better then a week ago and trust me I was hitting really low.

Weed :)

I'd say either
a. force yourself to eat something
Or b. go out to dinner with people, I find that when other people are having dinner it feels too weird not to eat with them XD

weed :)


That is obviously not going to solve her problem... I almost gave you a reddie...

I am about to start a new job in 1hour and half. And I'm still really stressed out over my breakup. My head is just pounding and I still feel like puking! Anyway is there anyway to get more calm before I start work?? I am not nervous at all about my job , its just retail and I've have a lot of experience in retail. Also I feel really faint.

I'm so sorry to hear that, a breakup is never easy, whether you're the dumper or the dumpee. The best way to get over a breakup is a distraction... and the best kind of distraction is a job.

Think about this, it's a new job, which means you'll meet new people, new working environment, and of course, money! And since this is your first day of work, you'll have to be somewhat chipper to be friendly and courteous to your new co-workers.

Don't think of this job as something you "have to do" but a fun and new experience for you to use to get over your ex. Who knows, maybe you'll meet someone even better?

Go out to dinner with people

By going out with other people,you have them to "distract" you from your pain :)

I know this can't be easy,but it will get better in time.

You've done the first step,by posting here,and sharing with us~~well done :)

It is OK, don't eat, cry and get over it with time

It's understandable you're struggling right now. If you can't eat, get some Ensure or other liquid meal replacement & sip on that so you can at least get some nourishment.

Hope you feel better soon...

OK I know many of you have read my other posts. I talked to my bf/ex tonight and he says he needs 1 more week to think (NC). Ok we have been in long distance (2000miles) for 1 year and half and we have seen each other every few months through it. He told me his parents are going through financial difficulties and he might not be able to come in December anymore and I'm about to start school in January. He thinks its best if we break up (but he's not sure) because we won't be able to see each other very much. I am willing to pay to see him but he wants me to focus more on my career. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him (my school is 1 year) and his is 4years (hes in his first year). I told him we have done so long already in distance and I am willing to stay with him and work it out because it will be so worth it when we are able to be together! I don't no what to do I love him so much and I am afriad he isn't strong enough to do the distance anymore. I'm so upset what do you guys think? I can't imagine my life without him or talking to him. :( help I need advice or opinions. I know you guys will think its best to break up but we will be able to be together in about a year or so because I will have my certificate so I could work

Someone respond.. :( !

I say he wants to breakup for a while or at least take a break. Could you answer my question about middleschool, because no one else has yet. Hope this helps. Thank - you.

Just because you "can" be together in a year or so is no guarantee. Long Distance "hopefulness" is such a risk... he's already telling you he's not really up for it.

If this guy were on the phone daily pursuing you and professing his undying LD love for you, I could encourage you the way you want. He's not. So I can't.

I say cut the "titles" between the two of you and keep your pen pal status. Your present should be lived in the present. Every day you blow off real-world dating opportunities (or fail to pursue your own) means you may completely miss the REAL shots at happiness on your own back porch.

All of that for the "hope" of some future, years from now "maybe" with this guy. I can't counsel that as a good plan.

I have been following your story, and its quite apparent you have some high expectations for this relationship, and some very unhealthy dependency on this relationship. Sorry, you need more than a break, you need some time, and a lot of it, to think of something else that's more realistic.

As JB has said, it might be different, if he was working more with you to solve the issues, that time, and distance brings, but he is not.

You really need to move forward for yourself, and get a much better perspective, than the one you have now. Its not realistic from what you've written.

h0llister - Sorry to tell you this but I'd have to agree with the others on this post... and this is coming from someone who is an optimist and comes to this board to get a dose of reality.

Long distance relationships are hard enough already even when both sides are doing their best to keep it going. So when one side isn't as into it anymore, it makes it near impossible. It would be best to break up and move on...

My boyfriend broke up with me last night. We were together for 2years.. I'm so upset he said he loves me so much but he's bored with this relationship now and he wants to focus more on university now. And its hard because I know he loves me ,he tells me. . but we are 2000 miles away and I'm sooo hurt, I couldn't even go to work today. I'm trying to get ahold of some of my friends because I don't work this weekend but everyone is busy and I'm going insane I love him and miss him and everything reminds me of him:(

I have been smoking so much (cig's) and I don't no I can't sleep I fall asleep for like an hour or 2 then wake up for a bit. I know the breakup is for the best if he's bored, I understand... but we had soooo many plans for our future and a good past. I don't no how to get over it all of a sudden. And I'm worried he's going to call in a few weeks and want to get back together but its not fair to me but I do understand he may regret this..

Also I have started NC last night, I want to call sooo bad.. also the cellphone I use to contact him is on his family plan and he said he's going to get his dad to cut it off this week.. so it would only be email I guess we could contact.. but I don't want to, I'm very hurt by him and now I'm mad at him... my mind is everywhere I just don't no what to do.. please help..

This is going to be hard, and it seems like you already know N.C is the only way forward-because it is. It's a good idea you trying to contact your friends because you need to keep busy and use support. Put away the things that remind you of him- in a box, or whatever way is appropriate to you. It's good you had a good past, at least you don't have to feel bitter, which is more than can be said for a lot of peole on here, you have happy memories. However, now you need to focus on you're future as he is focusing on his. Everyone is here to listen if you feel like ranting/venting. Good luck x

I have put everything away, I haven't quite been able to turn off my phone yet. I may in a few days.. but I can't call him ,he has hurt me so much lately and this just made me so mad. I have done A lot for him in our relationship and I feel a bit used now, I just think he is so caught up in his schooling that when he gets a break or something he will realize how he has lost a lot of things (hes having problems at home as well because he's never there, always out) and then he's going to feel bad and want to get back with me, but its going to be to late and I just wish he would realize 'us' but he's stubborn, I'm done with this relationship, its hard to say because I love him so much as not only a boyfriend but as a person. I feel like he's died... because I can't contact him I can't do anything.. I feel he was been taken away forever.. it hurts a lot

Just let it out, dear. Cry. Scream. Fume. Don't analyze, don't don't investigate, just let it ebb.

This is going to take as long as it's going to take. Just put on your seat belt and set the gears to neutral. OK?

We're listening.

Step in the right direction getting reminders out of you face. If need be changed your cellphone number. Do not wait around for him to change his mind or hold to false hope.

One a good note at least you won't have to worry about accidentally running in to him around town. I honestly never want to see my ex again and I work less then a mile from her home :/

Hon, I know your pain, it's unimaginable, I know because I have been there..

And I know there really isn't anything anyone can say that will make the pain any less.. but just try to get out of the house and try not to be alone.. even if your friends don't want to hang out, go out and just be in public, go to a movie, even if it's just you, treat yourself to shopping, get some icecream..

Right now it's about letting the shock settle in slowly, you can think about it occasionally but then move on to something else.. remember every time you stop and think about how sad you are and every time you cry about it you're one step closer to healing..

Take care of yourself.. good luck dear

Thank you guys! Tonight I am meeting with my friend and sleeping at her house then tomorrow we are going to celebrate her birthday in toronto and getting a limo and going to a club.. I hope this will help me a lot! Thank you everyone.. I know if I was still with my boyfriend I wouldn't be 'allowed' to go to a club.

thank you guys!! tonight i am meeting with my friend and sleeping at her house then tomorrow we are going to celebrate her birthday in toronto and getting a limo and going to a club.. i hope this will help me alot!! thank you everyone.. i know if i was still with my boyfriend i wouldnt be 'allowed' to go to a club.

See single life has it advantages =D Enjoy it knowing you don't have to worry about a significant other.

Is this the last time you'll break up with him? I hope so.

Update::!! My ex called me today because he found out I went to the city to a nightclub and he wanted to see how I was/ if I hooked up with guys.. just like stupid stuff, I'm not a slut he just got all paranoid and I asked if he wanted to work things out or stay broken up and he said he's not going to tell me because he doesn't want to and I should already know and I'm always pushing things and forcing him to do things(but I said it in a mature manner). And I said OK don't call me anymore to be like how are you because you know I am horrible and its not fair to call to 'see' how I am because it hurts me to talk to you right now and I said just call me when you have decided what you want and what you feel. And he said that was unintelligent of me and he is disappointed in me. :S!! I'm so confused

update::!!! my ex called me today because he found out i went to the city to a nightclub and he wanted to see how i was/ if i hooked up with guys.. just like stupid stuff, im not a slut he just got all paranoid and i asked if he wanted to work things out or stay broken up and he said hes not going to tell me because he doesnt want to and i should already know and im always pushing things and forcing him to do things(but i said it in a mature manner). and i said ok dont call me anymore to be like how are you because u know i am horrible and its not fair to call to 'see' how i am because it hurts me to talk to u right now and i said just call me when u have decided what u want and what u feel. and he said that was unintelligent of me and he is dissappointed in me. :S!!!!! im so confused

Don't give him the satisfaction of know what your up to. Don't answer his questions tell him it is none of his business now. Frankly you should not be talking to him, you should be going No Contact :).

I know, I actually didn't answer his call but he emailed me and was really upset and was like I guess it over blahblbah and I felt bad so I called him :S! I'm not going to call him again though

When you are talking about a good past, it seems most of it was good and lustful for you, but getting boring for him. He also mentioned that you like to tell him what to do and when to do it. Well guys don't like to be told what to do. They like to be talked to but not talked at - and there is a difference. But he also should not forbid you going out.

Did you initially break up with him or did he leave? I cannot understand why you object to him wanting an education. This should be a priority in life, whether you are in a relationship or not, and your partner should understand and support this goal.


A partnership that will not 'allow' either one to go out once in a while and have some fun does not sound like a trusting one. We don't own our partners and we should not deny them the things that are fun to do once in a while. It's insecure and does not show much respect for individuality either.


He thinks you try to force him to do things your way. You think that he spies on you and would forbid you to have some fun. And you claim this is love?? NOT!

Whatever got you two together in the first place is not strong enough on it's own, and neither of you worked on communicating and bonding. So why mourn over a dead horse?

Honey, you'll be better off without him, and he will be OK going on with his life too.

As JB said, rant, rave, get it out, and then start your healing process.

Take a real good look at where this might have taken you and you'll realize that a lot did not fit from the beginning. It will take time and we will be here to help you through it.

You are not alone, and I promise, that you too will survive this. You deserve better for yourself without all the stress and frustration, so seriously maintain the No Contact no matter how much it hurts now, it gets better

Keep us posted, and let it all out - we are here 24/7.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYMXDE) Happy Healing!

i said just call me when u have decided what u want and what u feel.
In my opinion that is a HUGE mistake. You are giving him an option... one that it doesn't seem like he deserves. Again, just my opinion.

I went though a similar situation with my ex. We were in a long distance relationship for 2 years. I live in LA, and he lived in Canada. We would see each other once a month, but we would talk on the phone/web cam every night for hours. We had so many plans... of me moving there eventually, getting married, buying a house together, etc.

Then all of the sudden, he realized he wasn't "ready" and wanted to go back to college and get a better job (I don't know why he felt couldn't do that with me).

Anyway, after breaking up with me... I couldn't eat, sleep, or concentrate on work for MONTHS. He would call me randomly at least once a week and tell me he loves me and misses me, yet he can't be in a relationship with me. He found out I went to Vegas with friends, and he kept calling me while I was at Vegas. He asked me to go visit him after the break up... so I went up there 2 different times (hoping that if he saw me again, he would realize he made a mistake by breaking up with me).

I tried dating other guys, but no one compared to him... and I would always think of him in the back of my mind.

It took me almost 3 years after the break up to finally get over him. I finally got sick of his BS and realized I was wasting my time. I wasn't going to be young forever. If he REALLY wanted to be with me, he wouldn't break up with me and with my head by calling me and telling me he misses me, yet he can't be with me.

I met another guy about a year ago (who I'm still with now), and that helped me get over my ex. I'm having problems with my current boyfriend though, which I posted about in another thread. :(

Thank you everyone! I really want to call him to tell him to leave me alone and never talk again because I need to have time to think and move on. But I'm so hurt and mad I don't even want to pick up the phone to tell him. I don't no what to do :S!

thank you everyone!! i really want to call him to tell him to leave me alone and never talk again because i need to have time to think and move on. but im so hurt and mad i dont even wanna pick up the phone to tell him. i dont no what to do :S!

Yeah you know what to do. Don't call don't talk don't do anything relating to him.

What if he calls me I told him to call me back last time he called, I said the next time you call it will be the last time he could call me and I would answer, so he could think about everything.

UPDATE! We talked tonight, he called and we actually had a good talk, we talked about all the problems we have been having for the last 6months and saying how we feel and we never decided or spoke about being together again but we did work out a lot of negative feelings we have been having... I don't no if it was a good idea or not, but I feel better now.

Ready to move on, or do you wait for another TALK?

I'm not to sure, I'm not going to call him, if he calls I will answer to see what he says I suppose.

And if he doesn't call, what will you be doing about your life??

He will call, I know him he says he misses me a lot and stuff and I can just tell, but if he doesn't ,oh well I will move on. Right now I'm not sure if I actually want to date him or not.

Hello, most of you know my bf/ex broke up last week. Every night I am having 2-3 dreams with him, sometimes there so romantic and sometimes its horrible fighting. It really sucks because I wake up every morning upset,and also I usually wake up while I'm sleeping as well and upset. I don't have any problem sleeping, until I start dreaming of my ex. Have any of you had this problem before? How do I stop it?

Time, or doing something that makes you so exhausted that you don't have time to dream. Join a gym or go for a job, take up something you have wanted to but couldn't.

Your feelings are still fresh, and close to the surface, and are bound to come out, one way or another.

As you learn to cope with those feelings, and actually get about making new ones, they should fade.

NORMAL!

The same happened to me. After my ex broke up with me he haunted my dreams... sometimes they were happy where we'd get back together and other times he'd be with this other girl (the one he left me for). Either way, I'd wake up feeling miserable. I had them a lot too... pretty much every night. But after time I wasn't having as many and they weren't as intense as they were right after the break up. Eventually they stopped completely.
So there's nothing strange about it. That's what's occupying your mind now so it's no surprise that it crosses into your dreams too. As your feelings begin to fade the dreams will too.

Thank you guys.. during the day I am OK and at night I can sleep fine, but I always wake up heartbroken all over again and it sucks so much. Last night my dream was my boyfriend bought me a plane ticket to go visit him So I went to his country.. and the next day we had to go to church and I went with some people and he went with his family(and we would meet at church) , on the way back from church the people I went with drove me to the airport (I didn't know on the way to the airport) and then when we got there they said chris (my ex) was already there and when I got inside he wasn't and I had to leave without saying goodbye and I was crying so much in my dream ( I felt abandoned) every night my emotions come back again!! Errrrr I want it to go away! :(

Yes it is normal, only time helps at this point.

Our minds plays tricks on us like that. When you go to bed are your last thoughts of him? That use to happen to me with some of my exes but I realized it was due to me thinking of them before I went to bed. After I realized that I starting thinking of my favorite movie star in hopes he would turn out in my dreams.

I called my ex today . And told him I don't want to wait for him to decide on if he wanted to be with me or not because its not fair. And I told him I will turn off my phone forever ( it's a phone his family gave me and it only works for there numbers) I told him to not email me or text or call my house/other cellphone. I also said I will be OK because I know I did nothing wrong and he agreed... I asked if he has found someone else or has hooked with anyone and he laughed and say uhh noo.. it was weird but I'm going to be OK I know now I want a better guy and I don't want to used anymore. And he will feel guilty cause he knows he has been a jerk a lot lately. I'm just hoping he won't get a guilt trip and try to get back with me... hopefully he does NC!. OK there was no question . Sorry I needed to vent.. but please leave advice or something of anything you have thought of while reading this... and thank you to everyone who has been with me through this.

... it was weird but I'm going to be OK...
Yes, you absolutely are.


I know now I want a better guy and I don't want to used anymore.
Awesome. Remember that when you doubt it later. You do want a guy who's panting after you, and guys WILL do that.


and he will feel guilty cause he knows he has been a jerk a lot lately. I'm just hoping he won't get a guilt trip and try to get back with me... hopefully he does NC!
Well, that needs to be unimportant to you. You can't concern yourself with any of that. NC is what YOU are going to do, whether he does or not. He's not in control of that.

You're going to be great. Truly. Good for you.

You're a very smart girl and you know what's best for you and sooo glad you womt put up with any crap from the guys.. Your going to be fine and you will end up with an incredible guy one who is respectful just because that whaat you want for yourself.. Just stay true to yourself man if you were my dai would be hugging you right now, good job and keep it up.
Your awesome

Thank you so much everyone. It just happened tonight so I just need some time and I will be OK, I've done this before. But I know now I want a more mature relationship (not right now) but in the future and I could never see that with him, he plays way to many games.. even after a year and a half.. still games! Err lol thank you everyone

I meant daughter sorry

Oh OK sorry lol thank you so much!

You've made your stand, now follow through, and keep your word to yourself.

Keep your ground on this one and don't go back!

I know, I don't think there's anything he can say or do to fix this. He has pushed me to far away now.

OK I am still doing NC(almost 2weeks now) but I checked the cellphone his parents gave me last Saturday and he still hasn't gotten them to cancel it. Then right now I signed onto messenger and he was online... he NEVER uses it.. NEVER and his name is all fancy and whatever but I will not message him and he hasn't messaged me.. I know I should I delete him.. I will but right now I am in shock.. I think he expects something and he thinks he will never lose me.. but he has and like I really don't want him to have hopes.. because if he talks to me I know my brain will get foggy again BUT.. I know I don't want to be with him.. but if we were to talk my heart would melt again... helppp someone.. I know you will give me harsh advice! Lol but I think I need it.

I'm sorry but your not over him AT ALL!
Delete him from your msgner, it myt be hard right now but then.. its done.
Your only torturing yourself... ye are over,it doesn't matter if his name is all fancy or what he thinks he is no longer an a part of your life, at least for the foreseeable future.
Delete him!!

Your doing the right thing No contact is great.

Now you have delet him from the messenger

Listen I was like you. And my x keept on talking to me. Going why aren't you speaking to me and that

and its like she was the one that left me it just makes me laugh so I deleted her. Easy :)
and I could move on with my life

and I did I'm with a great girl

Now that's what you need to do
you need to move on and find a great boy

stop wating around for him to talk to you or get hopes

move on :)

OK I just blocked and deleted him!

I'm actually enjoying being single, I can go out and do whatever and not have to explain to a jealous guy what I did and all this and that.. I'm fine until someone reminds me of him or someone says something about him.

Stay strong sweet heart.

we can't control how we feel but we can control how we act.

act well and enjoy your freedom =)

I love it when a woman knows her heart, but thinks with her head.

Just keep talking to yourself, and sooner, or later the heart will listen.

Thank you so much everyone! I am a lot better today... besides the dreams I starting having again last night! Err but I am going shopping today :D:D:D:D lol thanks everyone!

Ahhh shopping cure.. best cure for anything :)

Hey everyone I was watching a TV the other day and in it ,it said.. When 2 people love each other but break up.. where does the love go?. but they never answered it in the show. I was wondering what your personal opinions were? I still love my ex a lot. But I don't no does the love fade away? Or is it always there?.


p.s. like 2 weeks of NC and tomorrow is his birthday :O! But don't worry I won't wish him a happy birthday. But it will be hard :(!

Depends on what kind of person you are... I believe love never fades... love is not just physical attraction to someone... its a deep friendship... just my opinion.. some say it does fade over time and you grow apart... yes I believe you grow apart but you'll never forget those moments with that person

I don't think that certain love fades, but ATTRACTION is what fuels an INTIMATE relationship. Once the ATTRACTION is gone, that is when couples go their separate ways, but you may still love them like you would a family member.

I would like to think that someone's love.. TRUE love never fades.. that it is something that is always with you forever, not just in the feeling but in the memories and the person you are and have become because of it.

I don't think it fades away, I still love my first husband for many reasons, but I am not IN love with him. Many ways to love.

Lady_rose

I still love ALL my exes, haven't seen them in decades. The love goes nowhere, life gets in the way.

I think there are different flavors of love--affection, respect, attraction, passionate "in love." I think the In love and attraction can go away but leave the affection and respect. Or sometimes the respect goes away, but there's still attraction. It depends...

Love does not go away

I loved all my Exes

If you remember the real good times then you look back in love :)

Now this depends on how you are defining this "LOVE". Some people mistake "love" for all different kinds of emotions. Some of these emotions can be tied together, and sometimes they are just one at a time.

For instance: Puppy Love, or young love is just an exciting feeling that you have. When you part ways, you remember the excitement of it all, and are sure that you are going to die without that person. Then there is the jealous or obsessive love, where you think if you lose that person, you will lose yourself. There are many more types, but hopefully somewhere in there, there is self-love, and then there is true, respectful and unconditional love... sans a deal breaker... where you have a lot of communication and are best friends first and foremost, before anything else. That is the kind of love that takes very hard work and a lot of energy. It needs two people to be 100% committed to get to that stage.

In my opinion, it many times depends on how the relationship played out, and how it ended. If it was a rocky relationship, and ended badly, the love is gone for good, although the memories of the good times stay. This is where you were maybe in love with the person you wished they would be.

On the other hand, if the relationship went bad, but ended on at least a civil note, the love and good memories linger, but the love is more of a respectful love, of the times when things were good, and your ex still has a little piece of your heart, and although you love them, it goes back to the caring about their well being mode.

So where does the love go? I guess it depends on the level of the relationship.

I hope that answered your question somewhat. :)

I'm with the others on this one...

I loved and still love my exes. For me, it hasn't faded, persay, but has morphed into a sweet remembrance, a smile for a long day, a little giggle when seeing something that was shared, a tiny grin upon hearing a song sung together.

Love is a many splendored thing that changes and grows with time, while leaving happy little imprints of experiences shared in our hearts.

Its when you can look back and smile that you really know that you shared something special.

Now this depends on how you are defining this "LOVE". Some people mistake "love" for all different kinds of emotions. Some of these emotions can be tied together, and sometimes they are just one at a time.

For instance: Puppy Love, or young love is just an exciting feeling that you have. When you part ways, you remember the excitement of it all, and are sure that you are going to die without that person. Then there is the jealous or obsessive love, where you think if you lose that person, you will lose yourself. There are many more types, but hopefully somewhere in there, there is self-love, and then there is true, respectful and unconditional love....sans a deal breaker...where you have alot of communication and are best friends first and foremost, before anything else. That is the kind of love that takes very hard work and alot of energy. It needs two people to be 100% committed to get to that stage.

In my personal opinion, it many times depends on how the relationship played out, and how it ended. If it was a rocky relationship, and ended badly, the love is gone for good, although the memories of the good times stay. This is where you were maybe in love with the person you wished they would be.

On the other hand, if the relationship went bad, but ended on at least a civil note, the love and good memories linger, but the love is more of a respectful love, of the times when things were good, and your ex still has a little piece of your heart, and although you love them, it goes back to the caring about their well being mode.

So where does the love go? I guess it depends on the level of the relationship.

I hope that answered your question somewhat. :)

Got to 'spread it' dear, but you are 100% on this. A great big TUMBS UP to you. Love you!

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Wow thank you everyone! This has helped me a lot to realize the kind of love I feel.! I just think back to the good memories and smile. But I know I loved who he used to be.. because my ex is a totally different person now. But I'm OK :)! Thanks everyone

It was an interesting question to answer!

OK I've done 3weeks of NC (plus didn't call on his bday) But I still miss him a lot (not the relationship because I deserve better) but him as a person and I want to know he's OK. But its probably best I don't talk to him. But how do I just stop caring??

You can't just stop caring because he was an important person in your life. Only time can heal you. Don't force it

You can't stop how you feel :)

But control how you act.
You are doing a great job.
Keep up the good work

If you want to call someone call your mom or dad. Or a friend

Take them out to the movies get your mind off him.

Good luck

Thank you, actually I went to the movies the night of his birthday! Lol , I just hope he's OK I care about him as a person (how could I not! ) but he still hasn't cancelled my cellphone (I leave it turned off but I checked it yesterday and its still not cancelled) its weird but I hope he's not planning anything :S

ok ive done 3weeks of NC (plus didnt call on his bday) But i still miss him alot (not the relationship because i deserve better) but him as a person and i want to know hes ok. but its probably best i dont talk to him. but how do i just stop caring???

When you're saying "not the relationship because I deserve better", are you entirely certain you don't actually mean that it's the relationship you miss, and not him?
If you truly believe you deserve better than this man you were seeing, it seems to me like you want to call him not necessarily to talk to him but because you miss the bond you two once had together, even though you feel like he wasn't right for you.

Try this. When he pops up in your head tell your brain, "I'll think about him in an hour, right now I need to focus on this" By doing so you are acknowledging the thoughts in a positive manner and giving your brain permission to think about him but put him off. Eventually you will just put him off forever.

ok ive done 3weeks of NC ....its probably best i dont talk to him. but how do i just stop caring???Keep it up. Healing any deep wound means not picking at the scab, you know? So keep the NC, don't pick at it.

You DON'T want to stop caring. Knock that thought out of your head. You won't stop caring and that's a good thing. In the end you want to be able to access your positive feelings and memories of him as good references for future relationships. Memories are good if you let them be.

What WILL happen is you will eventually stop having those pangs that urge you to do dumb things with your present life because of those memories. THAT will stop happening, eventually, thank goodness. Just hold the line until then.

How do I get rid of feelings like.. looking at mutual friend profiles to see pictures of him. Or even today I signed on to Facebook and I guess he made a profile because under 'people you may know' is his name so I clicked ( iknow I know bad) and he had just made it and his only friend is a girl I thought he had be cheating with and like I got all jealous again.. how do I stop checking, I know you will say just don't.. but you know how hard it is :S!

It's going to be hard, very hard. Just keep yourself busy.

Brief background : With a guy for almost 2years, long distance. He broke up with me a month ago because he just started university and was super busy and never had time for me. Of course I was heartbroken.. welll...

I just did 1month of NC. But tonight I was msn and my ex came on (on his OLD OLD account) and said hi to me. So I replied and we talked for a few hours just about work, and whatever (normal conversation) he ended up calling me and we talked on the phone for quite some time. He said how much he loved and missed me and but we did agree how it was better to stay broken up (because we are 2000miles away from each other) but like I am OK now from the breakup and I don't no quite what to think of this. Has anyone ever had this happen? Like he says I love you hunny and stuff as we did when we were together. I don't no what to think of this, like do you think he's doing this because he misses a relationship or what. He does agree its best for us to stay single. But acted like a boyfriend.. what do you guys think?

I still think it's too early in the healing process to start talking to him again, especially when he is saying things like this and trying to win you back as it sounds like. He may stir up feelings and then you are going to be in a long distance mess.

I'd probably stop talking to him for your own sanity, do you think its worth it?

Yeah, I would stick to NC. It is cool to see that he still has feelings for you, but the only things that does is bring up questions in your own head. As long as he is 2000 miles away the probability of any type of successful relationship happening is pretty low. Take everything with a grain of salt and keep on chugging along. You did awesome to reach a month of NC, now pick yourself up and do it again. The point here is to be able to emotionally move on from a break up. I am not saying years down the line you two won't get back together, but that is not for you to worry about.

Stick with NC, he's testing the waters out and seeing how everything is. Avoid this as you're too early into healing to try and deal with the mind games.

Can you not see how distracting, and confusing, it is to talk to an ex??

That's why No Contact works. You don't have to be concerned with his motives or make them a bigger deal than they deserve.

What's on his mind is not relevant.

I would not talk to him for your own sanity I know how hard it is, but it'll be good for you in the long run.

I just screwed myself over by contacting my ex today. Believe me, it isn't worth it. It just opens up a wound that doesn't need to get any bigger!

I though you jumped out his pocket a month ago? I guess he had a string attached to you.

He's testing the waters and you shouldn't respond to be honest. He's not wanting a relationship instead he wants that comfort zone back without the baggage.

I wouldn't talk to my ex for any reason tbh. Not worth my time and there is nothing to be said. Not a factor in my life.

How do I tell him not to call or anything without completely hurting him, I wouldn't mind talking a few times a week, even if that. I am OK with the break up, I'm happier with him as a friend, and he feels the same, because we are both really focused on our career. Is it wrong to talk?

is it wrong to talk?Ask that question after you heal sufficiently to see some reality. I have heard every excuse in the world to try and get back together, and this is just another one. "We can be friends."



Like he says I love you hunny and stuff as we did when we were together. I dont no what to think of this, like do you think he's doing this because he misses a relationship or what. he does agree its best for us to stay single. but acted like a boyfriend.. what do you guys think?



One of you(or both) needs to let go and let each other go to stop confusion, and false hope.

You have the rest of your life to be friends, if that's what you want, but for now don't play games with each others feelings.

Protest all you want, but that's what your both doing. Not healthy, nor realistic.

I think he's just testing you and seeing if he still has some power over your feelings.

By breaking NC your just stirring up feelings of False hope.

Thank you everyone. I have told him I don't want to get back together and he agreed it was best as well.. so is it still wrong to talk?

thank you everyone. i have told him i dont wanna get back together and he agreed it was best aswell.. so is it still wrong to talk?

Depends can you keep past emotions in the past? I don't think your at that level yet. And she sure isn't by saying that L word.

He says he believes we will get married later in life, but now we are both focuses on our career.. its like a friend with benefits (but not those find of benefits lol cause we are so far, but like talking and stuff.)

So be friends get a career, get married, is that the plan?

Mm I don't think so... I am not planning on that. But who knows the future.

Hey as many of you know, my ex (long distance) and I broke up almost 2months ago.. about a week ago we started talking again and he was going to fly 2000 miles to come and fix things with me, I was so excited for it. But I thought we were moving to fast so I told him no (also I would get no time off work and I'm busy with church things). He agreed we were rushing things. But now we barely talk and I don't no its weird, I care but I also don't. I don't no how to feel. We still want to work on things but I know we wouldn't be able to see each other until the summer now. So should I cut him out of my life completely now, or still try to work on things, I like talking to him but I still feel like a girlfriend in someways. ( I don't want him to date other people , etc) but we aren't together. I'm so confused, I don't even know if this is a question somehow, but I don't no I needed to vent :( sorry .

From what I recall the breakup seemed like it was for good reason. He was busy with school, right? And you guys don't get to see each other much? Were you guys trying to do the no contact at all? It seems that's what always messes people up is breaking the no contact. How many years does he have left of school?

Well... talking to him makes you feel at ease correct? So stick to contacting him casually nothing more try to stay out of bringing up the relationship talk of old or new, and wait to see each other until you have time for each other to give it a real shot if you truly want to try and give it another go. Hope this helps!

He has 3more years and I have 2, but he told me he's going on vacation with his family to my country in the summer and his family invited for me to meet them as well. So like we talk good and stuff.. but what makes it hard, if we both lived close, our relationship would be amazing, we both know it.. so I guess we are waiting until we can be close to be in a relationship together

I see. Keep in mind a lot can change in 2-3 years. You might wait until you're both done with school to find that you are two totally different people and things won't work out the way you both hoped. Or you might get back together and it would be totally worth the wait. It's hard telling with situations like this. Just think though, if you wait those few years for him, you're missing out on meeting new people in the meantime.

That's true.. I don't want to wait for him, but I do care. Its hard to know :S I'm so confused, ill just go day by day I suppose

I just added a signature I want to see it.. lol

I remember seeing that top quote on here. It's so true.

Take things day by day though, like you said.

its just every weekend I get worried he might hook up with some girl, like he has A lot of close friends that are girls, and I'm not worried about them, but random people. And I don't no how to deal with it :S

This is time to NOT worry about him or what he is doing. You are no longer together. He should NOT be worrying about what your doing either. This is time to leave each other alone and experience life with out being with one another. Your in school, go to parties, meet up with friends and do stuff together. You only go through college/university once. HAVE FUN!

Just because he wants to fly 2000 miles to fix things... will it actually fix anything?

What happens when he goes back?

You will be right back where you left off... far away from him and missing him more.

Concentrate on school for now. Get through that first and THEN see where you two stand. Don't shutout other people you may meet either, you never know who you may meet.

My ex calls me a lot and says hey hunny how are you , I miss you and stuff.. But we both have agreed on staying broken up because of the 2000 miles distance between us. I do love him and care, but like it kind of feels wrong. Whenever he does call I feel so good to have someone being like that to me. But after I know I don't want to be with him right now ( he is super jealous always asking me who I am with, what I am doing, when I got home.. etc) Do you think he is acting like a boyfriend to feel complete or something, or is he trying to win me back?

Why don't you ask him how he feels instead of guessing and prolonging the stress?
If he still has feelings for you and is trying to perhaps get back together maybe you should stop talking to him, to save his AND your feelings.

It feels good to be talked to like that, but don't keep carrying on conversations like that if you both need to move on.

If it bothers you that much. Change your phone number and delet him from your life.

Unless you are planing on getting back with him later on? Are you?

What do you want out of this?

Xs Should not be calling you up. Going hey babe and hey hun..

Don't give him false ideas and tell him what you want.. and don't want out of him

Come on girl. I have seen you give lots of good advice here.

You know what to do

He probably has false hopes, because of the mixed signals you give him.

Long Distance Relationship Advice | The Frisky (http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-handle-this-seven-ways-to-survive-a-long-distance-relationship/?cnn=yes)

Read this, see if it helps you understand.

That's true guys, I have to tell him to stop because we are 'just' friends and only a 'boyfriend' gets those privileges :) I do like to talk to him now and then. But I always wait for him to call. Also we couldn't be together for 2-3 years so I'm holding back a lot because I don't want to get hurt. :) thanks everyone

About the whole not hurting him part my dear :)

You will end up hurting him more if you don't tell him right away..

But you know this ;)

Anyway good luck

Remember live your life :) don't wait on anyone

All the best

You guys seem like you probably like each other a lot but the distance is really hindering things. The only hope you really have to make this work is

a. You both have the self control to wait it out for two to three years and stay exclusive to one another. Only seeing each other once every few months makes this INCREDIBLY difficult.

b. One of you transfers schools to be closer.

Look at the situation. Are you a girl that is hit on a lot? Are a lot of men in your life? Are you put in tempting situations a lot? What about him, is the same situation true for him? If this is the case, you may want to consider option b or be in for a long, interesting ride.

I've asked him a lot to transfer schools but he can't because he's taking over his moms business/ is in school for business and if I were to transfer schools it would be taught in spanish! Lol I will try to talk to him again though.. thanks guys :)

Hello, lately my ex and I have been talking. We will talk for about a half hour then after I start treating him bad. We are 2000miles away and I always end up trying to get him to move closer to me or ask him to sell his business he will get, to be with me. I don't even know why I do. I know he never would and I know its not fair. I know I am pushing him away from me. But I can't seem to stop, I hate when I act like that. I always treat him bad I am being so unfair. I couldn't move there because of the industry I am going into and the language difference. But like I need to stop because I love him. But I don't no what to do now I have screwed up so much, I want to truly tell him I am sorry I don't no how to. I need to stop, I need to.. but I miss him so much its hard. I always force him to do things like talk to me longer, etc but man I hate myself when I do it.. I just did it again and I just feel like crying I don't no what is wrong with me.. :( helpp! I know he loves me because he will always talk to me and he's always the one to IM me or call me. I hate myself for doing this to him everyday, I just feel like I want him to prove to me that he wants to be with me... help me guys!