Ok I know this is a typical question most people ask but I need advice. Me and my boyfriend rarely fight and rarely disagree. We have so much fun when we are together. But My boyfriend of 5 months wants to take a break and I don't!! He said he love's me but is not "in love" with me and he thinks we should at least take a break. He has been overwhelmed these past two days but we spent the weekend together and had a blast. Why did this all of the sudden happen? We have not talked since we said that. How/What do I say to get him to try to make this relationship work? We are young so being "in love" should come later. So I think we should focus on being happy and having fun right now not too serioud of stuff. What do I do?

Well he texted me yesterday saying these exact words " maybe there is a shot for us in the long run but i don't want a relationship right now" we used to spend a lot of time together until we realized it was hurting us so we decided to only see each other at school and have a date once or twice a week. Well at first he said he wanted a break so I said okay we can take a break and he texted back " no we're breaking up" I don't get it. He has never acted like this before. Even his friends who have known him longer than me think this is werid. I have not texted him or called him since he texted me that so I am proud of myslef for doing that but I don't know what to do I have class with him on Monday because spring break will be over but he sits right next to me what do I do??

Just how young are you?

Just from what you write here, he sees you as more of a friend, not a lover.

We are 16. The thing is we are so happy when we are together. We loves to cuddle and hold me and kiss me and dance. And I don't know what to say when I talk to him next...

I ask the same as chuff, how old are you?
A lot depends on your age, if you're a teen or young 20's, looking for love is the last thing you want to do! That will come later in life, you need to go through lots of heart breaks before you learn what love really is.
I think he is a guy that just jumps from girl to girl.

Well I've been in a year long relationship before and that ended HORRIBLEY!! But I'm his first girlfriend... it sucks because it hurts so much and I have classes with him all day every day.

Girl, walk away! You are 16, it is just a fling! Love is something you don't learn till you are well into your 20's, sometimes 30's. I'm a lot more then twice your age and you just need to walk away! Just find another boyfriend!

It's just hard to walk away. I'm proud of myself for not harassing him with texts and phone calls... I have hope he'll call and want me back, but I'm sick of being hurt. So when we talk next should I keep hope or give up? I hate hurting

A love sick puppy is someone who just keeps nagging the other for another chance. Give up on this guy, just find another! When you get to my age, I guarantee you will look back at this boy and say, 'what the hell was wrong with me?'
Stand up and hold your head high! Show you are a strong woman who is happy to be single again. That will hurt him, and show him what he lost! Just walk away!

we are 16. the thing is we are so happy when we are together. we loves to cuddle and hold me and kiss me and dance. and i don't know what to say when i talk to him next...

Well you are learning some real lessons about love.

RULE NUMBER ONE. Never, and I mean never speak for the other person. Your message is filled with "WE." You were happy with him, not we were happy together. When you see him again, keep it short and be happy. His decisions do not control your life. In this situation I try to think what I would do if I was seeing this person in 10 years from now, the reality is there would be no emotional attachment so act like that person in the future.

Um, shouldn't you be in school?

Spring break

Ah. Go to the nearest mall, look for a nice attractive man and hit on him! Flush the ex down the toilet and show him how you are a lot better then he knew!

OK thank you. I appreciate it.

I don't know you, but I can say you are going to be a very strong woman. Not many people your age have the guts to come to places like this to ask questions. So from you doing that, I can say you have to be a great person who is going to grow up quite well. Just remember, men are just going to come and go. You may think you are getting heart broken, but believe me, you're not!

That's what my mom always tells me. Thank you for giving me great advice. You're a lifesaver

GIve him his space. No matter how much time you try to invest right now, he is not ready. Try to go out with friends and have a good time, you are young! Maybe he will see how much he misses you, and really does have strong feelings for you, maybe not. This will be hard for you because you have such strong feeling for him. I f he dosen't change and come back, I can almost guarantee there really is some one out there that you will have a much stronger connection with. Good Luck!

I'm guessing you are young.

Young love is overwhelming. All encompassing. Extreme.

If he wants a break, it can be as simple as his needing some "guy time" or it could be more. Sometimes young couples spend too much time together... my wife calls it "cave time"... my need to be alone sometimes. I love her with all my heart. I'm committed to her. I'm faithful. But sometimes I need my alone time.

It could just be that.

Unfortunately, it could be more. "space" sometimes is the first step in being "ex's"...

So... sorry to tell you, I can't get in his head. Maybe he's just needing some time where he isn't restrained by the demands of a relationship... or maybe he's looking for much more space than that.

I've been in both places. Asking for room to get a breath and come back, and asking for room to get a breath and leave.

I know that doesn't make you feel better. With I had a more positive answer for you.

Nobody can be in his head except him.

Look hun even if you don't want a break you should respect his wishes and have abreak show him that you respect his wishes by not calling and texin you can either wait for him to call or move on this could be a nice way of breaking up with you it does happen but I could be wrong did he tell you he needs acouple of days or weeks or what?

How old are you both?
He might just need some time to think about what he really wants from life and your relationship he might just need to find himself we all have taken time out from relationships to find or selves and to find out what we want
He could think its moving to fast

Well he texted me yesterday saying these exact words " maybe there is a shot for us in the long run but i don't want a relationship right now" we used to spend a lot of time together until we realized it was hurting us so we decided to only see each other at school and have a date once or twice a week. Well at first he said he wanted a break so I said okay we can take a break and he texted back " no we're breaking up" I don't get it. He has never acted like this before. Even his friends who have known him longer than me think this is werid. I have not texted him or called him since he texted me that so I am proud of myslef for doing that but I don't know what to do I have class with him on Monday because spring break will be over but he sits right next to me what do I do??

Get a little mad.

You are broken up, not on a break. Even if he changed his mind today, its not fixed. He's hurt you. Instead of feeling sad, try to change that frustration into being mad. Sure... at some point you have to let go of anger... but when someone dumps you, a healthy dose of being pi$$ed can help you not feel so weak.

So go to class. Do your best to stay calm. You don't have to be mean, but you don't have to be particularly nice.

What always made me mad with a breakup is usually that other person has been thinking about it for a time. Unless something happens that causes a person to snap, like a person hits you and you are done with them... unless its like that, usually the person has been pondering the breakup. Working it out in their head... and all the time they were still seeing you, kissing you, acting like all was fine. If that doesn't make you mad, I don't know what will.

And don't spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to get him back or all that noise. At this point, you need to spend time on you, not him. If he wants you back, and don't wait for it, he's got a lot of work to do to get your trust back, and even then, often its not enough.

So do what you are doing. You don't hang around him and act like all is fine. If he wants to have a break, he needs to feel it full force. If that's OK with him, then he's done and gone anyway.

" maybe there is a shot for us in the long run but i don't want a relationship right now"
Respect his wishes, and don't push it. When someone tells you that back off, and focus on other things, as his feelings have changed, and don't match what you want.

Its real hard when someone tells you that, your whole world crashes around you. The best thing you can do is give what they want and develop a thick skin.

Keep yourself busy, don't pester them, in fact leave them alone completely. If nothing happens after a week or so time to have an honest talk.

Well he texted me last night saying " i just want to make sure you're okay" then he called. And said that we are done for now but I will see him tomorrow which is today. If he is compeletley done why will I see him? He said he feels it is too soon for him to see me but maybe it is the right thing to do. I am so confused!! I want him back so badly

Ok I know this is a typical question most people ask but I need advice. Me and my boyfriend rarely fight and rarely disagree. We have so much fun when we are together. But My boyfriend of 5 months wants to take a break and I don't!! He said he love's me but is not "in love" with me and he thinks we should at least take a break. He has been overwhelmed these past two days but we spent the weekend together and had a blast. Why did this all of the sudden happen? We have not talked since we said that. How/What do I say to get him to try to make this relationship work? We are young so being "in love" should come later. So I think we should focus on being happy and having fun right now not too serioud of stuff. What do I do?

4/10well he texted me yesterday saying these exact words " maybe there is a shot for us in the long run but i don't want a relationship right now" we used to spend a lot of time together until we realized it was hurting us so we decided to only see each other at school and have a date once or twice a week. Well at first he said he wanted a break so I said okay we can take a break and he texted back " no we're breaking up" I don't get it. He has never acted like this before. Even his friends who have known him longer than me think this is werid. I have not texted him or called him since he texted me that so I am proud of myslef for doing that but I don't know what to do I have class with him on Monday because spring break will be over but he sits right next to me what do I do??

4/11well he texted me last night saying " i just want to make sure you're okay" then he called. And said that we are done for now but I will see him tomorrow which is today. If he is compeletley done why will I see him? He said he feels it is too soon for him to see me but maybe it is the right thing to do. I am so confused!! I want him back so badly

Give up hun he sounds like he wants you to sit about like a fool and wait until he wants to pick you up again he's messing with your head don't see him today and I wouldn't speak to him Monday with his 'we are done for now'' rubbish he either wants you or he doesn't

BOTTOM LINE-you've broke up,move on,stop letting him mess with your head,let him find some one else to mess with its not fair on you so don't let him do it

START NO CONTACT ,NO TEXIS,NO CALLS ,NO EMAILS,NO MEETING UP NO NOTHING
It's the BEST THING FOR YOU

Its called having his cake and eating it too. He can enjoy your company when he wants, without a commitment to be exclusive. This will also plays on your wish to be back together, and keeps you close, as a back up in case his other plans fall thru. You can stop all this confusion, by just cutting all contact with him, period. Don't be fed false hope, by the crumbs of his attentions, you deserve better so stand up for yourself.

He aimed my best friends last night asking if I was okay and she said well I know how she is why don't you ask her yourself. Apperently she said that he thought I was over him because I wasn't annoying him with texts and calls buts its not true. I know we shouldn't meet today but we need to have a serious talk and out of all honesty should I kiss him? I know it might work but I don't know if it is a good idea I know it's proabably not. But what should I do I need to have a talk with him.

No Don't Kiss Him Don't Hug Him Just Say Hi And Get On With Your Serious Chat

Why not ? Just a question I won't but why not?

This relationship is done; you have to come to terms with this. All relationships don't have happy endings; some people wake up one day and decide they no longer want to be with a person. In this case sounds likes he does not want to be in a committed relationship I could thing of several reasons as to why he feels this way but it's pointless to do so.

Cut him out of your life and center yourself. Then get back into the dating game and trust me your will find some that will love you, be in love with you and want to be with you until death till you part.

Because he's playing games with you that's why not

Just meet up say what you have to say listen to what he says don't be begging to get back together because he says he's in love with you but he's not in love with you what a load of crap,he either does or doesn't he wants relationship but not now

Sounds like he's chatting s**t to me n just wants you their when he wants sex but doesn't want a girlfriend he has to awnser to or the commitment

Id walk away and get on with your life don't wait

OMG Easilyamusd is not smart. You want to get back with him. If this conversation leads to you two getting back together you are on board with it. I should NOT get back with him. This is a person that decided out of the blue that he was not in love with you. You are setting yourself to be hurt again.

Your BFF is not your BFF because she would not entertain any conversation with your ex. The conversation should have gone like this:
Ex- boyfriend: Hello…hey this is <insert ex's name here>
BFF- What? I know you didn't call me. You and Easyilyamusd are not together anymore, you don't call me, speak to me, you “A” hole, how could you hurt my girl like that. I wanted to beat the crap out of your punk “A” but Easilyamusd told not to. Let me but very clear DON'T YOU EVER, EVER CALL THIS NUMBER. Then she hangs up.

LEAVE HIM ALONE HE TOLD YOU HE IS NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU. HE TOLD NOT TO CALL HIM OR CONTACT HIM. THEN YOU GET WORD THAT HE WANTS TO MEET WITH YOU AND YOU LIKE OK.

“aa, duh, which way did he go, hmm, duh which way did he go”

Listen to CookieMonster!

Do you give advice and not take your own advice that you give others because I've just realised I haven't been,think I should really start listening to my own advice lol


Hope your reading this mark!!

Listen, even though you have feelings for him, it was only 5 months, and he said he wasn't "in love" with you. He can care about you and text you, but that doesn't mean he wants to be with you. I went through something like this with my boyfriend, we broke up -and he didn't want to get back, he still texted me like nothing ever happened -but we weren't together. Just move on, and when/if he grows up and realizes that he wants to be in a relationship again that's when he can text you to see if you're okay. Don't even bother with it for now, move on and have fun with some friends.

Marriedguy, you're judging her BFF too harshly; she handled the situation perfectly by not getting involved in the drama.

EasilyAmused, show up at class WITH class. You are behaving beautifully with amazing self control. NEVER chase. Show up at school with your head held high: hair curled, make up perfect, glowing and FUN. This is HIS loss, make him feel the burn.

Love,
healer